<p>I’m sorry to hear about the work study job problems. That must be very frustrating.</p>
<p>Kinder: It sounds like you handled things well. I agree that it would be best for her to just come home for the second break, and the plan to bring a friend sounds promising.</p>
<p>My D has certainly acclimated to city life. When she was home last weekend, she mentioned how quiet it was outside in our suburban neighborhood. She’s gotten use to the street noise. I remember living on a busy city street when I was in college, and you really do get used to the noise.</p>
<p>Stillwater, my S entered Stanford 2 yrs ago, got along fine with his roommate but didn’t live with him 2nd year. This year he’s in a house & his 1rst yr roommate is right next door. It seems to work out well for most</p>
<p>Well, my D is getting excited about my offer to come see her in a few weeks. She might have been able to get through until Thanksgiving, but H and I decided a visit could be very good for her. She’s pushed through a rough transition and is working really hard. So she’ll get to see her sister in a week or so, and then me a couple of weeks after that.</p>
<p>Of course now she’s FBing me constantly with ideas of plays we can see! Her choice right now is Frank Langella in Man and Boy (since Private Lives won’t have opened yet). I should also be able to get at least a peek at some of the stuff in rehearsal at her school, since the weekend I can travel doesn’t have any actual performances available.</p>
<p>EmmyBet, glad you are going to meet her (and not the reverse) and nice to hear about the plans. Kinder, agree that escaping to home for all free time will not work well (though she is going with a friend to NY).</p>
<p>We flew to Toronto to 1) take care of MIL who had knee replacement surgery; 2) for me to have some business meetings; and 3) to celebrate Rosh Hashanah with family, though it is unclear to me how well purposes 1 and 3 mesh (if MIL is not up to lots of standing/walking, how would we go to services? We’ll see. </p>
<p>Then, we are going to visit ShawD for afternoon/dinner. We’ll take her and perhaps roommates and friends out to dinner. I’ll do techy stuff – I got her and ipad and capacitive pen. Her profs in math/science/psych classes all put powerpoint slides or pdfs on a server and expect students to download them prior to class. With the ipad/pen, ShawD can take her notes on the electronic version of the slides. I’ll have to set up the pen (have to download a few apps to make this work apparently) and also hook the ipad up to her DropBox account.</p>
<p>L’shana tova to all my Jewish CC friends and their families. May you be inscribed in the book of life. I hope you will be celebrating this beautiful, reflective holiday of renewal and hope with loving friends and family. My DH and I will be welcomed at the home of his ex-wife and for the first time ever we will be with his three daughters, their spouses and our six grandchildren. Of course, we will miss our son who will be celebrating with both his Jewish and non-Jewish friends at school and my parents who have my sister caring for them as my mom recovers from her heart surgery.</p>
<p>FlMathMom, I hope you and your dh have a wonderful holiday with his daughters and their families. In theory it sounds like it could be very awkward to go to an ex-wives house for a holiday dinner, though it sounds like you are OK with it. I hope it all goes well and you have good reports after.</p>
<p>Flmathmom: Thanks for the holiday greetings. L’shana tova to you and your family. It should be a special holiday for you this year.</p>
<p>My D1 is coming home today, but this will be our first holiday without D2. Fortunately,
both girls have fall breaks next weekend, so they will both be home for Yom Kippur. We’re hosting 14 for dinner tonight. </p>
<p>Wishing a happy and healthy new year to my Jewish CC friends and their families.</p>
<p>Found out a little more about the potential trip home. Yes, D wants to go to the special local event on Sunday, but mostly it is because it has been dreadfully hot and sticky in her 4th floor room. Other students have classes on Thursday or Friday, but due to the vagaries of her schedule she does not. So she figured WTH- go home, do her midterm research paper in the quiet and a/c of the state library and our house. Her on-campus library is not quiet and study carrels are reserved for Seniors working on research projects. She just wants to be comfortable if she is going be spending the next few days holed up doing research and writing. She is not unhappy, just a princess missing her a/c. (She is her mother’s daughter.)</p>
<p>Also, she is reassuring me that she is being social. She was out last night with friends, and the night before had friends that were hungry so she cooked for them and they ended up singing show tunes in her room until 3 am. :eek: (This is a quiet floor so can’t imagine she endeared herself to others. Not the first time it happened on the floor though, but it is the first time she was the instigator. But no one yelled for quiet so she is counting it a win. )</p>
<p>So we are not going to fuss if she comes home- she is clear that she gets to come home once every 4-6 weeks. She is not counting the Yom Kippur trip as we are acting as a hotel mostly, so she and her Texas friend can go to NYC on the cheap.</p>
<p>Thanks for your words, Swimom. D is finding that she does have even more in common with her RM the more they talk- as well as with other kids in her SLE dorm. It’s a relief, because D was no social butterfly out of school hours in HS, despite debate and theatre. I was hoping it was because she was so busy combining ski racing with the debate season. Anyway, this roommate matching process seems to have worked. How about the results so far at other schools?</p>
<p>No emilybee- it sounds just like my H back in the day. His mother wanted to make sure none of her (7) sons went out in the world not able to take care of himself.</p>
<p>ETA- She also made sure they could all cook as she started married life knowing only how to make oatmeal and biscuits. :eek: And back in her day there were no options for frozen or prepared foods. All of the sons turned into great cooks.</p>
<p>Like you, we expected this was part of growing up</p>
<p>we/I made sure our student could handle a bunch of these things–just because it is part of life–not really in “prep” for college, more for prep for life.
So laundrey and basic cooking and cleaning skills are in place. A bit of ironing maybe once…dry cleaning and prof press is better for fine garmetns anyway–so a light press or emergancy touch up is a good start.<br>
There is enough in the cooking skills for several meals of all types.</p>
<p>Kiddo has never paid a utility bill or rent, as all of our mortgage and bills are done online…and I can see how they need this if they move off campus and our of a dorm. When I was in college we paid the phone bill by splitting it up…the big thing was to put the acct numbr on the check.
Kiddo has had a savings and checking acct for probably 2-3 yrs - however used it for the debit card -
Kiddo is frugal and will likely continue to be good with budgeting.</p>
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<p>Our student and roommate seemed to be very well matched as well. Similar interests and both like neat room… different in enough ways that they have varied friends as well and aren’t together all the time.</p>
<p>I had a dormmate my freshman year (in the days before ubiquitous microwaves) who expressed surprise that only the inside of the oven got hot. I think it’s entirely possible he’d never been in a kitchen, much less cooked anything. Or maybe he had a Franklin stove at home instead. I’m going with “never in a kitchen,” though, as he was also unclear on how to boil water on the stove.</p>
<p>Just 3 days until the Countdown to Thanksgiving begins. :D</p>
<p>Let’s see - S can write a check and pay a bill both online and the old fashioned way. He may be stumped about postage, however. He can make scrambled eggs, grilled cheese, pancakes, soup and pizza. And don’t forget popcorn! He got laundry lessons before leaving for school and has only asked once so we are not sure if he has only done laundry once or if he is too proud to ask. LOL</p>
<p>He has a checking and savings accounts, a debit and credit card, and knows how and when to use each. He is the saver and also has a small online investment account that he has made a few dollars with (more than savings/CD rates!). He knows how to book airline tickets and he has traveled several times on his own both domestically and internationally since he was 14 (his grandparents live overseas). He has no idea how to file taxes but he does understand refunds. We just tell him to “sign here”. :D</p>
<p>He cannot boil an egg or use an iron (that we know of). In high school and before, he had problems putting clean clothes in the dresser and closet. Don’t know how this is working out now that he has a roommate. I doubt he can clean a bathroom although he has assisted with cleaning hair clogs in the shower and sink drains. He is also quite good with the litter box and the weekly trash service at home. :)</p>
<p>Boychild also knows how to sew! Only buttons and only because I’m so lousy at it (and hate it, too.) I’m sure it a pinch he could hem something, too. </p>
<p>Random roommate assignment at Bates but boychild and roommate get along fine as far as I know.</p>
<p>Thanks for the article fogfog. For some areas I guess that would be accurate, but not where we live. All my boys clean, and clean well. Bathrooms, hardwoods, dust, counters, etc. Dishes are their duty, not mine. They all iron. Bluejr has worked full time the last two summers and his EC required dress clothes for competitions so ironing was a must. They all have checking and savings. They can write a check although rarely do as they use their debit cards or pay bills online for insurance and property tax on their cars. They are responsible for maintenance on cars…not hard but they do have to drive them to the shop and get oil changed, maintain wipers, inspections, etc. They do their own laundry. Our oldest paid rent when he wasn’t in college classes (it is in a savings for him when he moves out). They can cook to a moderate degree…not great but beyond easy-mac. They can certainly grocery shop and do it for me more than I do it.</p>
<p>So, what the heck do I do? I’ve taught them to do all these things and keep them doing them. There was a time not so long ago I wasn’t able to do many of the things above, so the training served a much greater purposed of self reliance. They have a lot of faults and are spoiled by their mum in a lot of ways, but they do know how to fend for themselves.</p>
<p>D’s school also does roommate matching; they fill out very detailed questionnaires. When D was matched with a student from Africa, she did lots of research on that country and we discussed various ways her roomie might experience culture shock. As it turns out, her roommate is quite the party girl (D is not) and spends most of her free time with one of her cousins who is a third year student and his friends. Sparkly party shoes, slinky dresses, Marilyn Monroe poster over her bed, does not come home some nights on weekends … (roommate, not D) - not what D was expecting! But, they get along fine: D says she is very “chill” and does not blast music, entertain in her room or otherwise make things uncomfortable. So she is happy with the arrangement. D hangs out with others in her dorm and it seems like most of her friends have a similar gets-along-with-roommate-but-not-best-friends setup.</p>
(She is her mother’s daughter.)</p>