<p>I believe bedtime is closer to 1-2am a good portion of time. Both D and roomie are night owls and procrastinators. This is not much different than high school, unfortunately.</p>
<p>For eyemamom
<a href=“http://www.rochester.edu/parking/assets/pdf/taxiflyer.pdf[/url]”>http://www.rochester.edu/parking/assets/pdf/taxiflyer.pdf</a></p>
<p>It’s been five days since S launched and everything seems to be going OK, although he’s been somewhat overwhelmed and sleep-deprived. I guess that’s normal though. With all the activities that have been scheduled during orientation, I think he’s been getting to bed really late–he texted me last night at 3 am! He and I have texted back and forth at least a couple of times a day since we got back, and he actually called us yesterday–yay! It was so good to hear his voice, but it feels like he’s been gone for a few weeks instead of just a few days.</p>
<p>Classes start tomorrow and he seems pretty happy with his schedule. He hasn’t given us a lot of details about who he’s met so far or exactly what he’s been doing, but it does sound like he’s getting along with his roommate and trying some things outside of his comfort zone. The other night he even tried learning swing dancing! When I looked at all of the choices of activities going on that night, that was probably one of the last things I would have expected him to do. We’ll see how things go now that he’s actually starting classes. I hope he’ll be able to find a good balance between work and fun.</p>
<p>It’s stressful to have roomies with conflicting schedules and habits. It sounds like a common problem, including kids I know, though not my own. To share a room, each has an equal right to space and everything else. Compromise is a must. Good luck.</p>
<p>Creekland,</p>
<p>I hadn’t remembered that your son was a competitive chess player; mine, too! He’s not currently playing but that could change. I am learning to expect the unexpected…</p>
<p>Dwhite, I think your son has to learn to manage his own daytime nap environment with eyeshades and possibly earplugs. If the roommate doesn’t want to turn off the lights, that shouldn’t be required. Ideally, the early to bed roommate - if very early - like before 10:30 or 11PM - should do the same thing. Sometimes early risers treat it as a moral issue, but it’s NOT inherently better or superior to be an early riser. It’s unfortunate they are incompatible in this way, and maybe they need to switch roommates next semester if possible. The rudeness definitely sounds like a problem, and I’m very sorry your son is being bullied and harassed this way. That’s not acceptable under any circumstances, and I hope the RA can help sort it out.</p>
<p>think my D also continuing HS schedule of 1-2am sleep time, but she doesn’t have to wake up at 6am anymore!</p>
<p>D starts official 6am swim practice this morning. I think the 1-2 am nights are done. Her roomie also swims so they can get up together. They both have the same 8am calc 2 class–deliberately scheduled so they would stay up.</p>
<p>Thanks lake mom!</p>
<p>I hope the roomie thing can work itself out. If it blew up like this it must have really irritated the other roomie. Hopefully your son is willing to be reasonable as well, without being walked over.</p>
<p>There is so much to adjust to beyond what I even thought that I now get why schools limit the amount of classes the first semester. </p>
<p>I am glad to know that my son finally texted his sister. Once he heard me tell him she missed him, and it’s way harder being the one left behind he did the right thing. She even talks to his previous teachers about him. And she was the one who kept saying she couldn’t wait to be an only child.</p>
<p>Thank you for the responses. Yes, I do have a son - someone pointed out that he is listed as a D on the list - funny, I never noticed!</p>
<p>In the end, they are just polar opposite kids in EVERY way, including their sleep needs and schedules. I had a feeling after move-in weekend that issues were a possibility. Interestingly, during move-in when some of the kids were tired and fading, laying around on their beds, he made a comment that he NEVER naps, and he seemed almost mad. He isn’t much of a talker, keeps to himself and is very serious. He also does have a “general mom” although not to the extent of the one on this forum. That same day that we were all just relaxing after the move-in, his parents took him to every informational booth, got every piece of literature from the booths and she wanted him to read every one! The next day, they made sure to walk him to all the buildings where his classes are, so he wouldn’t get lost. She also told us that she would be calling “every day”.</p>
<p>I do think kathieh1’s point about the “moral issue” is correct. The roomie does seem almost angry that S needs more sleep than he does. S does go to bed about 2 am (as does his entire hall, except his roomie) and he compromises by hanging out elsewhere, never bringing friends in the room at night or studying with a small lamp. </p>
<p>Hopefully, he calls today with better news and isn’t so stressed out by this whole thing. I did remind my son that “compromise” is the name of the game here!!</p>
<p>dwhite,</p>
<p>Your son and his roomie should go somewhere nice and neutral for a talk…erupting the way he did, in the afternoon, makes me think he has a few issues other than your son liking to nap in the afternoon.</p>
<p>It seems as if their preferred schedules are so different that it keeps both of them from using the room as a comfortable home–roomie feels like he can’t hang/make noise/have friends in during the afternoon, and your son feels like he can’t do that in the evening after he has finished his work. Your son doesn’t want the overhead light on in the afternoon/ roomie doesn’t want the light on at night.</p>
<p>If it’s any help as far as ideas go, My S1 and his roomie had a few similar type issues when they were freshmen. They ended up agreeing to alternate weeks as far as who had first dibs on using the room as they chose, and that compromise worked well for them. Well enough that roomie was the best man at my son’s wedding.</p>
<p>I saw a request for a General Mom update.</p>
<p>My neighbor said that General Mom sent Facebook friend requests to her, her husband and her son. Son is just ignoring it…mom and dad just sent General Mom a “friendly” email saying that they use Facebook just to keep up with family, and that they are sure she understands…</p>
<p>Mom did tell her son to make sure his privacy controls are set so that GM can’t “creep”…I don’t know if her son and roomie are FB friends or not. They seem to get along ok, not best friends–the kid just seems so timid, doesn’t seem to do much other than class or study in the room or at the library. Roomie did not join any of the floor intramural sports teams, which is too bad, it is such a good way to make friends and get a bit of exercise.</p>
<p>Roomie went home this weekend. I am sure neighborboy was relieved.</p>
<p>Hi All,
Since the topic of roomates has come up I thought I’d give an update.<br>
I had posted that I was worried about my S roomate situation because of the RM’s crazy posts on facebook and communication before move in.
Move in was fine, we did not get to see much of the RM, so did not get a read.
We picked them the following weekend to go on a snack/water run and went out to dinner. RM seemed fine, and S made it seem like they were getting along.
Well this Saturday we picked up S to go out with us for our anniversary dinner (so 2 weeks since our dinner with the RM) and the situation is terrible, RM stays up all night (S is dealing with it by using his noise cancelling headphones), is out partying every night (S has gotten him to swear he will not “smoke” in the room), but has no idea if his “stash” is in the room.<br>
My S is being very stoic about it ("I keep to my side of the room and we’re civil"is a direct quote) but I can’t help but worry.</p>
<p>Ha, well I’m the one that posted about going to bed at 10pm. Hey… a mom can hope, right? I’m getting inane texts at 1am, too, so I know my girl is not in bed at 10. (Last night-- “I loooooove Ina Garten!!!” Please.)</p>
<p>Sending good thoughts to all the kids with roommate issues. I’m sure some are in store for all of us, eventually. Such a tough transition.</p>
<p>elka67 and dwhite–I’m sorry your kids are having roommate problems. It’s hard to be able to put out effort to make things work (sounds like they recognize that roommates don’t have to be best friends!) when you’re not getting enough sleep.</p>
<p>No idea how much sleep S is getting. He has 8:30 and 9:30 classes, so I hope he’s not up until 2!</p>
<p>boysx3…always love the General Mom updates. I think they make the rest of us feeling really good/lucky. hehe</p>
<p>i suspect the college dorms are not right for the kids who are in the early to rise early to bed mode. I am yet to see any college with dorms where people get to bed before midnight on average.</p>
<p>Boysx3 - I expect general mom to be one of those being mentioned in &(^) my mother in law says in about 25 years.</p>
<p>Elka, if your S’s roommate is partying all the time, he probably isn’t studying, so maybe he will get on academic probation or flunk out. I don’t wish that on any child, but some kids need a wake up call.
All of these roommate issues make me so grateful that S got one of the rare singles at his school. It is the size of a broom closet, but at least he can close the door and be alone.
In typical mommy style, I was worried he would not learn how to socialize and get along in close living situations or would hole up in his room, but he is great friends with his hallmates, so not a worry anymore.</p>
<p>WordWorld - to be honest that was my first thought too, but same as you I’d hate to wish that on any kid.
My hope is they make it through this semester and that there are other kids with similar issues in their house so maybe they can switch at the end of the semester and end up having the partiers together and the studiers together.
Oh and my S is not anywhere in the early to bed/early to rise category - he gets to bed around 1am and I had to get him one of those vibrating alarm clocks to force him out of bed in the am to make it to his classes.
I’m really more concerned if someone decides to rat out the RM and his “stash” is in the room.</p>
<p>Northwestern had a sleeping habits question on the housing survey, so if kids were honest, there should be no surprises. S reports that so far, he and his roomate are on a similar schedule.</p>
<p>I’m encouraged by the maturity of some of the things he’s told me. Says he thinks he’ll find his niche … just not this week. 
I think he’s ready to see Wildcat Welcome in the rearview mirror and for classes to start.</p>