<p>So good to read how everyone’s kids are growing up and into their new more mature selves.</p>
<p>Sometimes I think the best thing about the long winter break is that it is so nice not to always be worrying about making sure the kid is getting homework done, projects done, rehearsals and practices, etc…the semester id done! No homework! We generally don’t even mention grades til it’s about time to get back to school, unless our son brings it up himself.</p>
<p>One word of something to think about if grades aren’t what was wanted: ask the kid what he thinks he did wrong/could have done better/ could have done differently–remember that the kid feels horribly inside too. Also, ask to see the grades in a problematic course. Was there a discernible pattern? For example, if your student dug herself a hole with a bad first exam or paper, but improved over the semester–good! Or is your son did well on papers and projects, but bombed exams (my son #3), encourage your student to check out syllabi on line before registration, and to take sections of classes that play to their strengths when available. True story: in one of my son’s economics classes junior year, each student had to write a paper and make a 30 minute presentation to the class, to be followed by a question and answer session from the professor and the class–and the professor made all material in the presentations fair game for the exams, posting all of the students’ papers on line. My son received A’s on both his paper and presentation. His topic was one of those chosen by the professor to be covered on the exam. He only got 6 out of 10 on his own question! because he likes to think too much, and doesn’t get enough down on the paper, and always gets pushed for time. And yes, he has gone for time management in exams help. And he hates multiple choice tests…he always reads too much into the questions.</p>
<p>of course, once we are enjoying them being home, there are all those new problems, like children turned totally nocturnal by our stick-in-the-mud standards, and dorm room slothiness in the family room, and going out for pizza or wings at midnight and coming back with a gaggle of noisy friends…). Not to mention that they are now so used to running their own lives that they think we are totally superfluous, except for our wallets and full refrigerators…</p>
<p>Aww boyzx3, your post made me so excited…just 9 more days!</p>
<p>I look forward to all those things, though I know from past experience that he will probably be out more than he is here…but Ill take what i can get :)</p>
<p>I haven’t heard much from my D lately, but her Twitter feed implies that she’s in the crunch time with papers and presentations galore. She has 5 more days until classes end then her only final isn’t until December 20th. She flies home the 21st. </p>
<p>I’m looking forward to her being home for more than a few days, but I’m not looking forward to the kids battling over who gets the car. Her brother got his driver’s license the week she left for school. He was sick over Thanksgiving so it wasn’t an issue. It will be an issue over Christmas, for sure!</p>
<p>I haven’t heard much from DS lately, only a 1:40AM text (he has gone nocturnal…which will be problematic in our house). The text was simply asking me to help him stalk his schools online registration for an opening in a better economics class for next term. He wants to swap for a professor with a pronounceable name (my words not his). It is tough enough class without having to cope with a heavy accent! He is still in classes until December 11. His finals aren’t done until the afternoon of December 19!
Needless to say, he will miss his sister’s college graduation on December 15. This is my D2 and she has just finished applying for grad school (4 year pharmD ) for September '13. She had her first interview yesterday with hopefully many more to come.</p>
<p>My son is really struggling with the GF breakup - it’s the worst possible timing. They saw each other over the break which was a BAD idea (in my opinion) so when he went back to school, last week it was like starting the grieving process all over again.</p>
<p>I’m just a mess on this end. He does call to talk to us (we are all very close) and he is aware that this is part of life, but he is still having a hard time with all the added emotions from the break-up and the normal stress of finals and papers. This was his first long-term relationship and they were (still are) very much in love. I know he feels like he lost his best-friend. In my experience, boys don’t really open up much to each other about emotional stuff so I’m sure losing that outlet is tough for him -especially now. It is such a huge distraction and adding extra anxiety. He just needs to get to next Tuesday - it can’t get here quick enough.</p>
<p>Watching our kid break up with the significant other is really no fun. When it happened to D1 with her first BF in college, I just wanted to kill him. Luckily she had her friends to help her get over it. dwhite - you would be surprised how those kids rally around each other when they know someone is going through a hard time. I know D2 has helped few friends (boys and girls) mend their broken heart, often it meant watching a movie with them and just listening to them talk.</p>
<p>Thank you oldfort. I do think his new friends would probably rally and help distract him, IF this happened at any other time. Everyone is swamped with work and studying, including my son. I think that is the biggest issue - that he has to keep all this bottled up while he tries to focus on school which is what is giving him problems.</p>
<p>dwhite - I can’t offer advice or help, but I can offer <hugs>. Hopefully it will all work out ok for him, but it probably will take time. I wonder if studying can help take his mind off it all for a little bit (no idea - just musing).</hugs></p>
<p>dwhite-- hugs coming your way (virtually). My D is going through a protracted breakup?/non breakup? torture mill and it’s making me nuts. Her bf will never leave this town (at least that I can see) and so she will see him every time she comes home. She seems ready to make the break when she’s at school but when she comes home she feels how well he knows her and is so familiar with him. I can see how that hurts. It’s hard to compete with the deep bond these kids have. I’m starting to feel like the only thing that will help is a lot of time and/or falling hard in love with someone else.</p>
<p>Aw, dwhite - I’m so sorry! The only thing worse than having your heart broken is having your kid’s heart broken. Maybe send him a gift basket? Little fun things, cookies to share with floormates, etc? Poor guy. He’ll make it to next Tuesday, and he’ll survive like we all do. But it’s sooooo hard. :(</p>
<p>Sorry your son is going through this difficult time. I remember about a year ago when I read about the “turkey drop” I had no idea what people were talking about until someone explained it was a common time for break ups. Well this year I have heard of a number of breakups right around thanksgiving so I guess you can tell your son that he is probably not alone struggling with this before finals.</p>
<p>How awful that it had to happen right now! But at least he will have a chance to see his family and friends soon. I agree a care package would be a great thing right now.</p>
<p>Thank you all. His heart is so broken - he actually said that </p>
<p>These young first-time madly in love breakups are SO hard for kids. They have never felt this way and its the first time they have had such a deep emotional and intimate bond with another person, outside their family and friends, which is totally different. They don’t have the life experience to know that someone else will eventually fill that role again and they will feel that close to someone else someday.</p>
<p>Some friends and I have been reminiscing this morning over where we were a year ago. Almost all of us were here on CC and we were stressing out…ED rejections, EA deferrals and slowly getting acceptances to safety schools. Doesn’t this feel better a year later?</p>
<p>Unfortunately last name doesn’t always indicate who speaks English well and who doesn’t. If I were doing the research I’d run the names through ratemyprofessor.com as well.</p>
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<p>dwhite I’m sorry that is tough S and his GF broke up “for college”. She’s got a new BF already and he is beginning to date…and they are friends (as they were for several years before deciding to date late senior year). Is that not possible for your S? Sounds like it may have been more serious than my S’ was. I hope a hug and a hot chocolate when he gets home help you both feel better :)</p>
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<p>jaylynn I remember you were concerned last year that your D might go to college to be with this BF? (if you wonder how a new member remembers this, I had to change my username, it used to have “bass” in it) As tough as this is now, I assume this is better, and she will eventually find someone else, or enough time will pass that it won’t hurt like it does. <em>I</em> got a pang when you said how familiar and comfortable an old relationship can be. We spent Thanksgiving with my ex - my kids’ dad - and there were those moments that come from being married for 20+ years. In our case they were just sort of nice reminders of the connection we have (via the kids), not weird “wish we were still together” ones. So with time I’m sure your D’s will evolve too :)</p>
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<p>Mizzbee…it feels SO much better! I am so glad I am not nagging to finish apps right now (though honestly we were done by this time last year, I was nagging to work on audition music more by this time).</p>
<p>A funny thing has happened this fall. I have stopped missing S’ presence in the house every day. I just realized this yesterday and it gave me a real pang. When I dropped him off in August I was really sad, and I thought about him every day, throughout the days. But now, almost 4 months later, him being away feels normal. I think about him of course, but i no longer feel like setting two plates is weird. D’15 and I have a little bit of a routine now, and I am used to it.</p>
<p>Of course I miss S, and I am excited for him to be home…but dagnabbit, the “how will I ever cope without him living here” feeling is basically gone. I think I dreaded it as it approached longer than it took for me to accept it and come to enjoy the new phase. Anyone else having mixed stuff like this going on?</p>
<p>Hi, OHmomof2 (yes I remember your old name!). I definitely have that mixed feeling. For me, I was so worried that my D would be too wussy to be away from home that to have her so happy makes me miss her less, or rather, helps me not miss her because I know she’s happy. And yes, she knew right from the start that she should not choose a school based on where her bf was going to school-- so her head was smart, but her heart-- not as much, lol. She’s torn every time she sees him (sigh and eyeroll).</p>
<p>Wow! Looking at the posters from yesterday and today is a little like a class reunion … except that no one will know I’m grayer and rounder these days unless I tell them. Oops. :)</p>
<p>I could relate better to the breakup stories if only S and I communicated at more than a basic level about those things. Singing Barney’s “I Talk About My Feelings When I’m Sad” song doesn’t elicit a response these days … even with my best Barney impression. <em>sigh</em></p>
<p>My daughter called Monday night. She finally succumbed to the freshman plague. It’s just a head cold, but it’s certainly not the best timing. She has no exams, but she has a major project or paper for each class and 2 of the 3 projects are group projects. </p>
<p>She’s a little disappointed because she had hoped to make it through the semester without getting ill.</p>
<p>Super glad of that medicine box that we stocked during move-in.</p>
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S and his GF broke up “for college”. She’s got a new BF already and he is beginning to date…and they are friends (as they were for several years before deciding to date late senior year). Is that not possible for your S? Sounds like it may have been more serious than my S’ was. I hope a hug and a hot chocolate when he gets home help you both feel better :)</p>