<p>OHmomof2, it sounds as if S has passed the “shock” and is now in “action” mode. You have done the right thing “powering down” the helicopter (love that expression, btw!) because now S owns this situation and is doing what he can to fix it. To be able to take responsibility for one’s mistakes is so important in his growth and maturity.</p>
<p>OHMom, I did read your whole update, and I can relate to what you are struggling with in this outcome. Keep in mind that your S must take all of the action now to gain confidence for himself, his parents and his advisor and professors. If he does take control, then going back is a good and realistic option, but if you sense the helicopter part of you needs to step in to help, then maybe a semester off is really what is needed so he can step back and re-evaluate his future. </p>
<p>This is so hard! I wish we all could give you a hug (or a glass of wine) to help.</p>
<p>Agreed, giving you a long distance hug, OHMomof2. I am glad that he is handling it well, and that the FA is not affected immediately. I agree that the weekly progress meeting would be great, though it does make you wonder why that couldn’t have happened during this semester…
If the appeal is denied, at least he has been given the gift of overcoming failure at an early age. Goodness knows I screwed up too and I am glad it happened when I was young enough to correct it without kids, careers and mortgages.</p>
<p>(((HUGS))) OHMomof 2. Sounds like he is handling the situation with some thought and a plan. I like the weekly progress meeting…</p>
<p>Just wanted you to know I am thinking of you and your S, OHMomof2. I am really hoping for the best outcome for your S!!!</p>
<p>OHMomof2 share/vent away! It is good relief and any one of us could have been in your shoes. Once kids leave home, one never knows what choices they will make. My youngest affirms that there are even times when they are at home and we still can’t affect their choices sometimes.</p>
<p>If your son actually does what he says he wants to do with the appeal letter, I would think he’s on a good path to having a successful college plan for the future.</p>
<p>My hubby had a bit of a transition period to college (too many events, not enough concentration on classes - no partying - just not enough concentration on classes). He was still able to graduate as an engineer and now, he’s owned his own engineering business (with a good rep!) for 13 years. Success can certainly still happen - even if he’s in a tough major. It will be up to him though. I wish him well.</p>
<p>And please, vent away! We all have our times when we need an outlet.</p>
<p><<<hugs>>></hugs></p>
<p>Thanks you so much guys, for the support. It really helps.</p>
<p>He’s written his letter, he read it to me last night. He’s running it by a couple of people then sending it out today. I had a couple of suggestions, but it’s a sincere acceptance of responsibility with a good plan for success next semester.</p>
<p>His plan includes meeting with profs weekly to check progress, getting to bed earlier on weeknights, using the tutoring/writing center, etc. I said, “how about the weekly check-in with your advisor?” and he says “I’m not sure who that is”.</p>
<p>Apparently he had one assigned to him at first (and didn’t like him much) but he’d changed his major right before classes began and so was assigned a different one, but somehow neither one had him as an official advisee. As a result, neither one emailed him at any point to say “you’re failing X, come in” or whatever.</p>
<p>I suggested he put in the appeal letter plan that he’ll talk with the one he likes on a weekly basis, and make sure this one is advised of the academic probation situation. I think that happens anyway, but I feel it’s worth making sure he has one who is his official advisor and gets his grades and all that.</p>
<p>If S is telling the truth here, I’m a little annoyed that this happened. Other students he knows got emails from their advisors warning them that they were slipping…S did not. This is all water under the bridge now and obviously it is S’ responsibility to know what his grades are, but do you think it’s bad to mention in the letter that he wants one for the next semester and in a backwards sort of way let them know that he didn’t really have one?</p>
<p>OH Mom, my sympathies and congrats to your son for owning it (and you for letting him!). If it is done carefully, I think he could mention that he did not realize he was doing THAT bad because other people had e-mails about slipping grades and he didn’t. He still needs to make it clear that it is ultimately up to him, but mentioning that he would welcome more academic oversight is probably OK. Good luck and try to enjoy the holidays–congrats on having a contract on the house, too!</p>
<p>Merry Christmas to all.</p>
<p>Merry Christmas!</p>
<p>OHmom - without going into details, emphasize the missing warnings. Let them figure it out. </p>
<p>If the parent is allowed to participate, you may want to ask the question whether he was warned before the end of the semester to get his grades up.</p>
<p>Merry Christmas to all. </p>
<p>We’ve finished breakfast and opened presents. We kept it simple his year. Now the kids have decided to watch the Lord of the Rings movies. It feels good having everyone home under one roof. Later, we will visit the neighbors for Christmas lunch/dinner. I love the simple things.</p>
<p>Merry Christmas to all who are celebrating, and Happy Holidays to all this season. DS got his letter informing him that he is on the Dean’s List for his first semester. We knew it was going to happen with his GPA, but it is nice to see anyway. </p>
<p>The list of students leaving their schools is growing. Two have moved home, three are on academic probation and another good friend will finish next semester before she takes a break due to a special bun in the oven. The kids that went to state schools are struggling a bit with navigating schedules, etc. More than a few parents told me they wish they had followed our plan to attend a smaller school. One thing I find odd is how those that went to school with their good friends have really kept to themselves. Those that had to make friends seem to be happier with their campus. The ones that moved home both have significant friendships/relationships with people going to school locally. </p>
<p>In addition to discussing regular classes, DS and his classmates are all comparing number of pages written. His school wins with 33 pages of papers (86 if lab reports are counted). The lowest is a low-tier state school at 4 pages. They can’t stop comparing this semester but it is fun to hear about the different schools.</p>
<p>OHmom - I am not sure if I would mention that he didn’t get a warning. Most students know how they are doing. By placing blame on his advisor, in my view, is not taking full responsibility for his grades.</p>
<p>Congrats to DS of Mizzbee! Way to come out of the gates! (I have no idea if we get a report card for DD. I’ll ask her after a few weeks.)</p>
<p>OHMom, my S had a disastrous 1st semester a few years ago. He made no plan for change, just said “now I know you have to go to class,” then had a 2nd semester identical to the 1st. He was then kicked out for a year. So I think it’s good your son’s school makes him face the music immediately and, more importantly, that he has come up with a plan for change. Sounds like an important step.</p>
<p>Thanks all, and merry Christmas to all who celebrate it today :)</p>
<p>He wrote the letter (didn’t mention no grade warning but did say he’d like to meet with an advisor regularly next semester) and the person on the review board confirmed that she received it and was passing it on. So now he waits to hear. They’ll either approve it based on his letter or ask him to come in person in early January and approve or deny then. The very worst case scenario is the semester off; he is allowed to return in fall. </p>
<p>I am at a place of zen now with it, if it’s meant to be it will be, if not he’ll retool and either go back or switch or whatever.</p>
<p>Congrats Mizzbee’s S!! It’s a great accomplishment, believe me I appreciate how huge :)</p>
<p>OHMom - keeping my fingers crossed for your son.</p>
<p>Sounds like he’s done a good job with the appeal so far. OHMom. Hope it’s resolved soon!</p>
<p>OHMomof2 - sending all the best Wackaloon vibes your way. Glad your son has been able to properly reflect on all this and develop a good proposal for his next semester. His letter seems to include all the components college_query said her college looks for in an appeal letter. xoxoxo</p>
<p>So my kid says she’ll be applying to be a Resident Assistant for next year. Not a big surprise since she’s talked about it before, even when she was in high school and visiting colleges. Says it would be in one of the freshman dorms. I know she’d be great at it but I’m wondering if being a sophomore RA living in a freshman dorm creates a bit of social isolation from your non-freshman friends living in all the other places on campus.</p>
<p>I know she’s already planning to be an orientation leader for the incoming freshman group for her scholarship program which begins 2 days before the regular freshman orientation in August. She’s currently one of a handful of students on the selection committee for next year’s group of 15 freshmen along with the scholarship program coordinator, an admissions office rep, etc. </p>
<p>She’s still making plans for spending a couple of months in Vietn@m this summer. She recently contacted the current U.S. Ambassador to that country (an alumnus from her college) and he gave her some advice about some good graduate programs and invited her to visit him when she gets to Vietn@m in May. Time to start tapping into that alumni network!</p>
<p>She’s really enjoying her college and has a 3.75 for the first semester. She’s blogging for a local non-profit organization as one part of her required work-study hours.</p>