<p>Ugh - my son had all four of his wisdom teeth removed 9 days ago, and it has not been a fun ride. Post-op he did everything that he was told, and seemed fine for the first two days. Then pain became worse and worse - he had two dry sockets. Then a large, swollen lump developed. He had an infection and what they termed a large hematoma. It was very painful and made eating quite difficult. He also missed several days of work, although he did soldier through a few days, working outside on the grounds crew in the 90+ heat. He still had pain tonight, but he said he thought it was finally starting to lessen to just a dull throb. </p>
<p>Has anyone else had this long of a recovery? We were at the oral surgeon’s nearly every day this past week - saw three different doctors. Two of them seemed to think this was quite normal and sort of made light of it. My son has a pretty high pain threshold, so I know this must be really hurting him. We have a follow-up on Monday, so I’ll see what they say. </p>
<p>This was not the way he wanted to start his summer. I’m certainly glad, though, that we did it in the beginning of the summer and not over one of his breaks or near the end of vacation! If this is “normal” than I hope that the rest of you who have kids getting their wisdom teeth out have an “abnormal” experience with a quick recovery!</p>
<p>D2 had hers pulled junior summer. The doctor specifically told her not to do too much physical activities or even have visitors for the first few days. I don’t think it is normal to have 2 dry sockets, one is bad luck, but 2 is strange, and the infection?! I think if you were to take your son to another practice they wouldn’t make light of it. It sounds like your son is on his road to recovery and this will be soon behind him.</p>
<p>I think it is very important to find a good surgeon when it comes to wisdom tooth extraction. Less skilled doctors may use more force on getting a tooth on, which would cause more swelling and pain later. Our kid’s surgeon said his patients rarely experienced dry socket. D1 had very good experience with her surgeon, so we travelled back to have the same surgeon to perform the procedure on D2.</p>
<p>Haven’t been here in a while. Things turned for the worst after my last update at the end of Fall semester. I am happy to have survived this past semester, especially the end. Not related to academics, but to other unfortunate happenings (namely a sexual assault and the trying months in the immediate aftermath). </p>
<p>I definitely need this 3 month break from school. Because I’m not sure if I want to return there at all right now (but I have to… Mom would never let me leave, he thinks it’d be running away… Don’t let one person dictate my future… Etc etc. Constantly find myself wishing I had gone to Smith. If only it was bigger and gave me more money.)</p>
<p>Leave home in a couple of weeks to do an internship/work, and after all of that I will only have a week or two before school starts again. Basically I will be starting over from scratch with friends because I lost all mine in the aftermath… Except everyone has already formed their friend groups…</p>
<p>I am determined to get my GPA to honors/high honors level. I am bummed because my GPA isn’t what it could of been had my first year gone differently (it’s still above a 3.0. Wish I didn’t have the concussion or s.a.). My dean and everyone says it’s ok, employers and grad schools know that freshman year is the toughest, but I didn’t have typical freshman year issues. I didn’t think the course work was ridiculously challenging–it was right at the level I was wanting since beginning of HS. I didn’t have adjustment issues being on my own and not knowing how to make decisions (although who doesn’t make some questionable decisions as a college student…) or doing laundry or anything like that. So I am frustrated, but nothing I can do. </p>
<p>On an unrelated note, still undecided about what I am interested in studying (I am always complaining to my mom that I don’t want to be an adult and have to work, I just want to sleep all the time ;)). However, my CC username may become more relevant to my life (again) depending on how the CS courses I plan to try out end up going. </p>
<p>I just want to find something that “comes naturally” to me. I envy people who can pick up things right away. For me, that’s languages, but I don’t think it’ll be useful in the long run for me to do linguistics. I am still math oriented. I just wish math came easier to me. And CS… :)</p>
<p>Just wanted to update. Haven’t been feeling well enough to post the past few months.</p>
<p>Glad to hear of all the successes of your DCs, even after some setbacks.</p>
<p>hsmom2dncrs – sorry your S had such a rough extraction! My D2012 had hers done the Friday before Memorial Day, and has had an uneventful recovery. She felt well enough to attend family friends’ backyard BBQ on Monday evening and eat steak, although she had to cut it into teeny tiny pieces. </p>
<p>Folks, don’t be scared about getting wisdom teeth extracted. I think the “normal” experience lies somewhere in between that of hsmom2dncrs S and my D’s. My D’s doc said ~5% of his patients get a dry socket or other complication. It does seem to be important follow the doctor’s post-op orders completely, including allowing time to rest and heal.</p>
<p>CPU – I am glad to see your post, even though it’s not all sunshine and bunnies. You don’t post any details about the sexual assault or how it was dealt with afterward, and I don’t want to speculate. But I am incredibly proud of you for keeping a solid GPA despite everything that has happened to you. </p>
<p>Perhaps you can find a way to combine your love of linguistics and languages with CS. There is lots of work going on in the field of computational linguistics, and lots of real-world applications that can lead to good jobs. Also, don’t assume that stuff comes easier to other folks. Most likely they are struggling just as hard, and it only looks easy from the outside. </p>
<p>Good luck to you with your internship. Look for ways to enjoy your summer, too. Don’t worry about the fall, that will take care of itself when the time comes. Remember that there will be lots of kids undergoing transitions (incoming freshmen, kids returning from study abroad or gap year, folks’ changing majors, etc.) that will also be eager to make new friends.</p>
<p>CPU - Sorry the first year was so difficult. I hope you are getting help on dealing with sexual assault, and your school gave you the necessary support you needed when it happened. </p>
<p>I think too often students put too high of expectations of what college is all about, especially when you got into THE school. People also expect you to have the most amazing experience, and when you don’t, people look at you like you are crazy. </p>
<p>You now know what is good/bad/ugly about the school, you can now find what is “good” for you. Make the most of it and try to find little happiness everyday. College is the time to find yourself. You still have one more year before you need to declare your major. I know you are very close to your mom and you don’t want to disappoint her, but it is your college experience, not hers. I would encourage you to go back to school this fall, give it another shot, if you are still unhappy you may want to consider transfer. </p>
<p>CPU - this is a very supportive thread and we have parents with a lot of knowledge, feel free to come back if you need additional information or just some support.</p>
<p>CPU - don’t assume that everyone has their friends and that they are taken. I made new friends each year of school (not all new friends, but added some each year), and there are always people looking to expand their circles. Although most people probably don’t meet new friends in class, don’t forget to reach out to people in class - get a phone number for a study group or to get lecture notes if you are out sick etc. Ask people to lunch after class. Join new clubs to find other people. A new dorm will mean new people in the building to meet. I think it looks like groups are “closed” (and many are), but they are not all closed.</p>
<p>Hi CPU, don’t be worried that you didn’t get a close bunch of friends from freshman year. I didn’t either. Sophmore year was the key. A new dorm, a randomly assigned new room mate, and a new major made a big difference and I made friends I kept for the rest of school. </p>
<p>Also, for kids to whom school work was easy in high school it takes quite a while to learn to study effectively for college level courses and that is in ideal conditions (which you were not lucky enough to have.) So hang in there. Your experiences made you smarter and tougher. You are just really tired right now so let the summer do it’s work. On a really hot day, gather a high school friend or two, and find a spot along one of those rivers or lakes, find a eddied pool and chill (literally).</p>
<p>It’s so nice to hear from you, CPU!!! I just have to say-- you write so well, and you love languages, and you say math doesn’t come easily to you-- why not study languages, literature, cultural studies…you’re so young and you have so much promise. I hope you follow your interests – there will be plenty of employment for you in any field, I’m sure!! Good writing opens so many doors in all fields.</p>
<p>Thanks for the words of encouragement everyone. Since I got to campus I’ve wanted to transfer to Smith, but my mom has made it clear that I’m not leaving Harvard and “running away”.</p>
<p>Yes, I do. Sometimes I don’t feel like going. When I start to make progress, going to see someone and talking about a traumatic event on a constant basis (once weekly) gets overwhelming. Before and after appointments I don’t have the energy to do anything, which hampers my focus for school/ECs.</p>
<p>I’m finding that my attitude changes a lot. What helps is getting excited for things like fun classes, applying for cool opportunities for next summer, figuring out what I want to study, my sorority. Things like that. Even though it’s summer and I shouldn’t even be thinking about school, a little bit a day helps. Have to keep reminding myself that there are still things there that make me happy, and even though I lost a lot of friends in the aftermath, there are a few special people that really care about me. The other day, a classmate messaged me saying she admired me for my strength, that I inspire her, and she loves what I post on social media because I am very passionate about certain things. She says it makes her want to get more educated and involved. She also liked my writing (I write for a publication on campus and I wrote about my s.a. experience, among many radically feminist topics ;)). Even though we don’t really know each other, that meant a lot and that’s one more person to try to get to know next year. </p>
<p>Once I leave home for research and teaching, I’ll be gone 8 weeks and summer will be over by the time I get back. I definitely won’t be thinking about H with all of the other work I’ll have this summer. </p>
<p>Also on a positive note, my GPA went up a little bit I want to make honors for my major which will be super tough but now that I’m more excited and have a better picture of what I want to do after college, I’m a lot more ambitious. Even though it’s a tad early to think about grad school, seeing how I’ll apply what I’m learning in undergrad reminds me that these courses aren’t all “useless” (you know, “when will I use this in the real world?!”). </p>
<p>So many months of not checking in. Next update will most likely be at the end of the summer when work and fun wind down. </p>
<p>Thanks all for being an avenue to de-stress but also giving words of support and encouragement.</p>
<p>Good luck to you CPU and enjoy your internship this summer.</p>
<p>Just got my daughter on Tuesday and what an amazing year she’s had! A quick recap of last September - my daughter was the one who was hysterical the night before orientation day and during orientation, who kept saying why are you making me do this, I don’t want to go, please take me home, etc. etc. She wouldn’t go to orientation events unless our older daughter went with her (older was a senior whose school didn’t start yet, thankfully). A total disaster and heart wrenching experience. First term wasn’t so great given that she wound up with the biggest party dorm and a “floozy, druggie” roommate. She spent many a night sleeping across campus with friends.</p>
<p>Things turned around once she moved dorms and this last term has been an amazing transformation. Both academically and socially she is so happy and adventurous, hardly shy at all, turning into somewhat of a leader. Who is this child and can we keep this version? But the best was on the way home when she looked at me and said, “Thank you so much for forcing me to go to this college Mommy. It is the exact right place for me, it helped me so much, and I am so happy. It was the best year of my life.” </p>
<p>What more can a parent wish for? And on that note, I will bid you all adieu and thank you all for helping me through for the past two or three years. I think it is time for me to move on, at least from this particular thread. I will continue to assist others here, promote this somewhat unknown gem of a school my younger daughter is attending, and in the MT/Theatre thread. But in an effort to cut down on my CC time, thank you all so much, your help has been so important and soothing to me, but it is time for me to close this chapter right now.</p>
<p>CPU - glad you are finding things that are “good” as that is a big key to continuing on with life contentedly. My dad always told me to “learn from the past, but don’t dwell on it. You can’t change it anyway, but you can change your future.” It’s one thing he told me that I often repeat to myself as there’s a bit of wisdom in it. May your summer go well!</p>
<p>Amtc - sounds awesome! I’m a bit too lazy to go back and look at earlier posts… which school is she at again? It’s also great wisdom to know/realize that the situation within a school (dorm, etc) can make a huge difference. It what our younguns have is not so good, change!</p>
<p>Hi All, just checking back in after taking a break from this specific forum. I took a break because I needed to force myself not to hover over each of my S’s choices in college … the more I did that the more I felt like I was micro-managing, and I knew he needed me to back off so that he could make his own decisions, for better or worse. When I saw myself reporting here on every detail of his life, I realized I needed to back off and not be micro-mom to a 19-year-old. </p>
<p>Mostly, he made good decisions. He’s a great person and made lots of friends, tried lots of things, and had a great year overall. He’s not sure he’s in the right major, and he did not love microbiology 2nd semester, but he’s going to use the summer to step away from the academics and get refreshed for his sophomore year. He joined 3 different types of music groups, and realized that he may have over done that because it took time away from studying as much as he should have. He did get some good road trips and concerts out of it, and met many great friends, so it wasn’t all bad. </p>
<p>From a cash flow standpoint, he’s lined up a few different jobs, including one starting next week as a contractor’s helper that is 4 days of week of good pay. It’s not related to his major, but we know the owner and it will be a good experience for him, plus he’ll get to move and exercise on the job, which is a big plus for him. This cash is important because it allows him to have money to spend, but also protects the money he is saving for some kind of abroad opportunity.</p>
<p>It looks like many of you and your kids are experiencing college fully as well. I see really happy situations and also very challenging situations, but each one allows our kids to develop more thoroughly as people, and I’m happy to see so many tough situations being worked through successfully. For those of you with kids getting great grades and no huge challenges … enjoy it while you can; as they start to push their limits and try new things, new relationships or a new academic course, they will hit some challenges, and once in a while they will need to lean on you as they work through it.</p>
I’m sorry your son had such a tough go of it and hope he really is on the uptick.</p>
I want to make honors for my major which will be super tough but now that I’m more excited and have a better picture of what I want to do after college, I’m a lot more ambitious. Even though it’s a tad early to think about grad school, seeing how I’ll apply what I’m learning in undergrad reminds me that these courses aren’t all “useless” (you know, “when will I use this in the real world?!”). </p>