<p>I guess it’s a good thing we didn’t name this thread “finding the right fit” - that would really have been misleading. ;)</p>
<p>On a more serious note:
I’ve bought a lot of cups in my life and DH is no better at this as the technology has changed since his sporting days. Now it’s compression shorts and sliding shorts with a built in pocket. Even football “girdles” are different than he remembers.</p>
<p>Now, on to my soap box:</p>
<p>Most of us parents lived our formative years in what I like to call the Pre-Madonna era when one wondered if if would be more embarrassing to have your friend go around all day with her bra strap peeking out a bit from under her tank top or more embarrassing to draw it to her attention. We then moved into the Reagan/Bush “Just Say No!” years where there was really a head in sand approach. I think that discussions like this one and, in our family, frank TV discussions like we have see on Rachel Maddow about birth control etc. have made it easier for me to talk openly about such matters. The kids are as comfortable as can be discussing these things that have been in the news as of late. That was not how I grew up, so I’m learning as I go.</p>
<p>On cups and frank discussions:
D is also a catcher and F-Jr years caught when not pitching. As a freshman we had an umpire stop the game and approach her coach (an older guy who was not at all comfortable with the whole thing) and insist that D needed to wear a cup to catch. Coach referred ump to me as he was just too freaked out. I had a discussion with this umpire through the backstop of a HS baseball game about the nature and location of female reproductive organs. I didn’t really want to have to go there, but he kept pushing it so I figured that I would just be forthright and turn the tables on him. He was very insistent, but said he would “let it go this time” and not make D sit out. I contacted the head of the umpires association and the state sports governing body both of whom emailed me the rules that state that all male catchers must wear a cup. I gave a copy to D to keep in bag, emailed copy to coach and kept one in my bag. We had the same ump again and he brought it up again. I had to read the rule from the state manual and give him yet another anatomy lesson through the backstop . . . really? The moral of the story - some times it pays to be able to speak frankly about topics that seem icky or out of bounds and sometimes people count on your discomfort holding you back from speaking as a power chip.</p>
<p>saintfan: am right with you on knowledge is power.</p>
<p>Re ump, was he perhaps confused regarding the type of cup (i.e., bra vs. athletic)? I would have loved to hear you ask him what he expected your D to put in the cup.</p>
<p>No he was not confused - he went on at length the second time about female specific cups to protect genitalia and how they might not be mandated but would still be a good idea and D should really wear one.</p>
<p>Jaylynn, isn’t there some debate as to whether there is a link between Yaz and IBD? I’ve seen that in a number of places. </p>
<p>I guarantee you that many kids who don’t use birth control, binge drink, or engage in otherwise risky behavior are not doing it because of a lack of information. I imagine many couples have had unprotected sex with a condom within a few feet. It’s not that kids aren’t educated. It’s that they engage in magical thinking. They have a personal fable that these things – overdosing on alcohol, getting pregnant, etc. happen to other people and not them. Add to that the fact that when people are sexually aroused they lose executive function. It is not the prefrontal cortex where reason and good judgement occur that is running the show as things heat up. Add to that a little alcohol and a kid may make an unwise choice in regards to “safe” sex.</p>
<p>S wants to bring his electric guitar; is that ok, do you think? My thinking is “yes”, as long as he doesn’t shredd too loud or at inappropriate times…maybe use headphones while he plays? I think that boy would like nothing better than to find a bunch of dudes who want to play nothing but heavy metsl–he never found that in high school.</p>
<p>I am imagining plastic maxi pads saintfan…I seem to recall this was brought up at a little league meeting long ago about what the girls would need, and the giggles from all the moms. </p>
<p>With my own “female troubles” I am about to switch pills for the 5th time in 2 years in order to appease my insurance company before they will allow for heavier medication for my endometriosis. I am not a big fan of the tri-type pills, since they seem to have made me more likely to have infections, (sorry for the TMI). Just something I would speak to the OB/GYN about. If I were younger, I think I would try the Nuvaring. I did NOT like Depo, but it was the best thing for my conditions.</p>
<p>My kids are late bloomers as well, but I know my D1 started to party in college. I dont promote certain behaviors but I am not naive enough to know they wont happen. I want my kids to be protected and safe. D1 has told me stories about things and she has used her good brains.
I had the opportunity to relate a story about a kid I took care of in the ICU. I explained exactly what happened when he drank too much. OD basically. breathing tube, IV’s loss of reflexes and what could have happened to him. He recovered. I am pretty quiet and non judgemental but i gave him a few choice words. (he wasnt sorry) Told him exactly what could have happened and told him to smarten up and be glad he survived.(trust me he deserved it). My kids have learned from this . So although I dont expect certain things, I know they happen and I know it happens to good kids.</p>
<p>I worry about nuvaring in young girls too…especially if they are sexually active. I am sure the whole infection thing has been studied to death with them, but it still makes me concerned.</p>
<p>I am with you all on the information issue…so important to have these discussions. In the end, I think it comes to “You can lead a horse to water…”</p>
<p>And remember, a talk about sex/birth control isn’t just a talk about sex and birth control. It’s also at its best a talk about sexual safety, about protecting yourself against assault, against sexual harassment, about making sure your friends respect themselves and each other, that men respect you, that the best romances sometimes start as friendships with those of the opposite (or same) sex. So much to talk about and it’s all interconnected .</p>
<p>I tell my girls that even when all precautions were taken, unexpected still could happen, it wouldn’t make them a bad person, and they should feel comfortable to ask us for help.</p>
<p>I know there are some class action suits (which are nonsense in many cases) about Yaz and stroke/deep vein thrombosis/etc the same kind of things that have ALWAYS been side effects with oral contraceptives, but have not heard anything specifically about GI side effects. Obvious disclaimer: I’m a pediatrician, not a gynecologist, and when I have questions about birth control I refer patients to OB/gyn, esp if first line contraception doesn’t work well for them. I always have the talk about side effects with them— most are much more important wrt to older (>35yrs) women who smoke or have family history of pulmonary embolism, stroke, deep vein thrombosis or heart disease. But yes, there certainly are side effects that can be seen in young women. That’s why the ol’ Magnum Trojans (now that I know such things exist!!) are always a Great Option!!!</p>
<p>Absolutely, things can happen even with precautions. But that’s never a reason not to use or know about precautions! :D</p>
<p>downtoearth…I find past experience in a trauma ICU with young people really freaks me out about my own son and his activities. I tell him stories all of the time, and explain that it is not that unusal to see “bizarre” accidents and illness related to stupidity and inexperience in young people. I have a smart boy, but he is still a boy.</p>
<p>OK - I’ve just been over on flickr and love the new prom pictures! More jewel tones. I posted a series to illustrate my above story.</p>
<p>D has no BF and hasn’t had one - some interest, but nothing really developed. This is all proactive as it seems that it would be just easier and one less thing to think about. I had a HS holdover BF and used to take the Green Tortoise from Berkeley to Eugene every so often to see him. I got lucky with rhythm/head in sand method before finally making a trip to Planned Parenthood, but don’t want D to go through that uncertainty and second guessing. Also, broaching getting now, how to refill prescription etc. seems like a good thing to me. I guess I need to research all the different formulations.</p>
<p>What a great discussion you all have had today. I have a lot to say on this topic as well, but having posted a photo of D on Flickr, feel a little vulnerable and like I need to honor her privacy. Know, though, that I have appreciated your candor and have taken some notes.</p>