<p>And my D1 - definitely a 2!</p>
<p>Thanks for the clever rewording glido!</p>
<p>Hi all, thanks for the words of support. DH and I are now in Sedona for the weekend (planned before FIL’s infirmity and demise) to celebrate our 25th Anniversary. Beautiful country, no cell phone service (so it makes me a bit jittery wondering about the kids left home…22 year old is home with 16 year old). Internet does work though. </p>
<p>DS is definitely a number 2…with the euphamistic explanation.</p>
<p>Seiclan, enjoy the Red Rocks. Am baking down here in the Phoenix area! Don’t worry about the party the kids are having. They will have the place spotless by the time you return.</p>
<p>Love the list! DS is a 2 all the way! DD '13 is a 1. Not sure how a general would feel, but for a mom a 1 is easier than a 2!</p>
<p>I am having such a tuff time with the whole #2 type…that is to say I am miserable! I have starting seeing a “life coach” to cope with this kid, who I love more than anything but who drives me to anxiety attacks. I don’t know why I can’t just chill out on my own and not internalize his constant misestimations (he procratinates then does the eleventh hour frenzy thing). I am working on my being the mom who smiles, hugs and bakes cookies instead of the one asking him why he is still in bed a 1 pm on a weekend before major projects, exams and papers are due. I am trying to not know what he has and dosen’t due so that he can own it all but, then I will be on the phone with a girlfriend and she will throw in “wow, wasn’t last nights hw assignment a doozy? My son worked on it all weekend and barely got it done” and I will go into helicopter mode. Loving the kid on the couch is really hitting home with me this year. It is hard to take sometimes when you have kid who could be the top of his class/peers but who just isn’t, because they don’t go the extra mile or do the extra anything. Good thing he is cute…and he really is adorable! Maybe if he includes a photograph with his college applications it will be some sort of hook?</p>
<p>seiclan - {{{hugs}}} truly, I could have written that entire paragraph about my D1 two years ago! my only advice is to not be too hard on yourself. at a certain point, there isn’t a whole lot more you can do. it was soooo hard for me to let go of the top-of-the-class, top tier LAC possibilities, but it was better for everyone when I did.</p>
<p>and I shudder to admit this, but even now when she is a college sophomore, occasionally I see on posts on her FB wall from friends like “OMG, I can’t believe you haven’t started that paper yet!” </p>
<p>sigh.</p>
<p>PS - good thing your S is adorable ;)</p>
<p>Thank you so much PRJ, your support really does help. It is just so frustrating.</p>
<p>^OR you can have a kid who overschedules and thinks she can handle it. My D waffles between being a #1 and #2 type. She’s not a born genius and has to work hard on everything she does (I guess, we call that normal - ha!) unlike my college freshman son who spent more time trying to do things the easiest way. </p>
<p>Don’t worry, PRJ, I like to think that our type 2 kids are the innovators. They’ll find different and more efficient ways to get things done. They just have to really buy into the goal. S didn’t like busy work and would chose not to do it. So, he would score exceptionally well on his tests and get a B in the class. That bugged me to no end. Then I would hear about him arranging percussion music for the band - doing things that they would normally have to pay an arranger to do or winning an essay contest. I realized that he was really achieving - just not in the conventional way and would have to be guided “unconventionally”.</p>
<p>BTW, seiclan and PRJ, junior yr. was the most challenging for me and him. Lots of pushing and nagging. While others told me to step back, I didn’t. There’s only one year to get it right - and he could’ve gone the other way. Now, as he gets ready for college, he is confident and excited about his first year. I have no regrets. While his smarts could’ve landed him in a more selective school, I think the one he ultimately chose and was accepted to is the best one for him. They have a “Learn By Doing” approach and he is definitely a hands on kid.</p>
<p>OTOH, D is fighting to hold on to her school ranking (she’s driven that way, I could care less about that. Others are taking easier classes to rank higher - arrgh.) Grades matter to her but somehow, it hasn’t motivated her to look at colleges yet. She has her preferences, but won’t start looking. And when I asked her when she wanted to take the SAT/ACT her eyes glazed over. I feel so sorry for our juniors! They have more pressure on them than they need. I need to be patient.</p>
<p>Hope your enjoying Arizona! It is so beautiful there.</p>
<p>Right or wrong, I am riding my junior this year. Even if it means I have to have a glass of wine every night to put me to bed! The testing schedule alone is enough to deal with!</p>
<p>cherryhillmom, my evening “glass of whine” was a virtual one - this forum!! It feels good to be able to ask for support and vent! Of course, there was the occasional real glass of wine. ;)</p>
<p>Ok, I need my virtual glass of whine…D’s friend is in a few of her classes and often wants to get together to study. Her mom thinks it’s a great idea because D seems to “push” her D but I don’t. When I’ve seen them, they usually don’t get much done. (D has productive study sessions with another friend who is very focused.) I’ve told D that she can review with her AFTER she gets her homework done. Now, the mom hasn’t been very chummy with me. Maybe I’m being too controlling, I don’t know.</p>
<p>The study session doesn’t sound productive. I would do the same if I were you.</p>
<p>lilmom- I agree with your approach. I’ve been in similar situations, but usually only for a project, not an ongoing study partner, and I’m always relieved when the project is over.</p>
<p>I’m very picky about study sessions…and I’ve given my D the ok to “blame it on Mom”. There are some study groups that are productive, many that just waste time. It’s important to me that D learn the difference–and if it is easier on her to “blame it on Mom” when she says no, I’m ok with that.
She’s had three days of school, 2 tests so far and a quiz tomorrow. She has an active ECs that is not school based, and this kid needs down time. She doesn’t have time to waste.</p>
<p>Thanks for the support. D is studying on her own today and doesn’t have a problem with it. One of her teachers emailed the first weekly progress report and she’s getting an A in the class. Of course, a chunk of it was full credit for her “name placard”. I suppose every point counts…</p>
<p>lilmom… would you mind sharing the “learn by doing” college your DS is heading off to? My DS sounds very similar to yours and I am also trying to keep my nagging to a minimum this year… but ohhhh is that hard. I’m with you on the Junior year thing and if he would just push himself a little harder he could easily get A’s. He is just happy doing just enough, but doesn’t want to work too hard. He easily gets B’s with no studying. His tests scores are, of course, through the roof. I think he should aim at colleges in line with his grades, not his test scores. He is definitely a kinetic learner. We are just starting the search and welcome any suggestions for this type of student.</p>
<p>5boys, my S is attending Cal Poly San Luis Obispo.
There’s a thread here on schools for the B+ student where there were some great suggestions. My S didn’t want to go OOS so it limited him to a handful of schools. He was also accepted to Arizona State which would’ve been his back up but only if he were accected into their honors program.</p>
<p>Thanks lilmom!!! I have the exact opposite problem, my S doesn’t want to go to any schools instate… so no CA schools. I would LOVE it if he would take a look at Cal Poly, both of my brothers went there. It is in such a great town. He also wants a small school… under 2000, near the mountains or have some outdoor club. That eliminates a lot of good schools for us too.</p>
<p>5boys, there are some great schools your S might like - how about the Northwest schools? D is interested in the region but in bigger schools. I assume you’re looking for an LAC?</p>
<p>lilmom… yes, visited PNW schools last Spring. Loved Reed, liked Lewis&Clark, didn’t like Willamette. We were supposed to visit Whitman… a school I know he will love, but couldn’t get over the pass because of a bad storm. He is also looking at Colorado COllege, Sewanee, Bates, ST. Lawrence, Carleton, WArren Wilson and maybe Grinnell, although it is in Iowa,nowhere near the mountains.</p>
<p>^^ sounds similar to D’s list so far, except the PNW schools. we are in OH and that just seems sooo far - somehow CA isn’t as daunting so Pitzer is on her list. she is very interested in Warren Wilson - you don’t hear a lot about it on CC.</p>