<p>Thanks for all the info re UPS. DS got his packet today, with $5k/yr merit. Other schools were much more generous, but I really wasn’t expecting anything from UPS given its higher ranking and much lower acceptance rate than other schools. Any love is good in my book. Still waiting on the packet from Denver, curious if he’ll get any $ there, given others’ experience.</p>
<p>wait a minute coralbrook! What is MY daughter doing at YOUR house? When she’s at your house does she say “But I’m a senior!!” a lot? When she’s at your house does she make any progress on that 3,000 word essay that’s overdue? Let me know.</p>
<p>It would be interesting to hear from some of the Moms of the boys</p>
<p>Are they acting like big shots that don’t have to listen to their parents or follow the rules?</p>
<p>I didn’t notice/haven’t noticed much nest fouling with any of my boys, but then I do adjust my parenting as they get closer to leaving the nest. I think some rein-loosening is appropriate as they get closer to going out into the world.</p>
<p>We’ve launched a daughter 3 years ago, and now have a son going through this. I remembered her being pretty tense and edgy during this month (I think the mood of the entire class is contagious), so we were ready for that. </p>
<p>My H and I seem to be taking turns getting on S’s last nerve right now. We then take turns telling each other, “It’s just a phase, pushing away so he can go away, don’t take it personally,” depending on who is on the outs. It seems to last about a week, and then my son switches Bad Parent and Good Parent. </p>
<p>Last night S complained about how my husband was chewing his dinner…</p>
<p>HELP! My 9th grade son is driving me crazy! 3rd quarter ends this week, and several of his grades are in the C/D range just because he forgets to do his homework. He gets good grades on what he completes and on his tests. He usually has time to begin an assignment in class, but not enough to finish it. So, he thinks in his mind he’s done it. On top of that, he has to submit most electronically through blackboard by midnight, which doesn’t get done, and he can’t finish the next day when he realized it’s not done. I have bought him planners, tried to get him to to check his notebook/blackboard, suggested that he e-mail himself, or leave a voice message on his phone to check. None of it is working. He just refuses to write it down, and I’m tired of unsuccessful nagging. He can’t use video games during the week because I feel it distracts him, but he’s okay with that. He reads a book instead of doing his homework. Does anyone have a solution that has worked for you?</p>
<p>Mamaduck: I have a good friend whose son went through the same thing. She handled it by sitting down with him every day after school at the table while he ate his snack. They went through his backpack and binder together and she sat there while he completed every last assignment. Every day. It took him a couple of months to realize she wasn’t going to relent.</p>
<p>He graduated with a high GPA and is a successful junior in college, winning awards. There’s light at the end of that tunnel :)</p>
<p>Mamaduck- it this is a longstanding issue, then I would approach it differently than if it just started. If this has been going on, and he has not really ever been successful, then I would be more involved. Sitting with him every night- where he shows me on Blackboard what is due and that he has turned it in. Once he is regularly successful and doing this, then I would back off. Sometimes it is just getting them to see how successful they can be with just a strategy or too, and then they can take if from there.</p>
<p>Thanks for the feedback. I should give you a bit more backstory.</p>
<p>It has been an on/off issue. He was in a rigorous private middle school that was lecture intensive, and he missed many assignments because they were announced in class in part because he has Auditory Processing Disorder. He picks out about 1/2 of a conversation if there is normal background noise. It’s very difficult for him to take notes and keep up with a lecture. He was diagnosed at the end of 7th grade, when we thought he was ADD. We switched him to the public school because of the much higher usage of visuals such as powerpoint as well as being able to refer back to blackboard for assignments. It’s been a bit rocky, where he’ll do well for a while then slack back off. I am still unsure if the APD is playing a role in missing assignments. He does do much better in some classes than others (he has a solid A in German, but barely squeaked through Latin in middle school). He reads voraciously, but has a C in English. He is exhausted at night. The audiologist said that is probably due to the high amount of mental concentration he exerts during the day. I’d like him to try a hearing aid, which SOMETIMES helps, but he is very resistant and it would be $6,000 gone if he refused to wear it or it doesn’t help. And yes, the school is aware of the problem but we don’t have a written plan. His teachers have worked with him individually at times to make sure he understands, and he has a math tutor (he has a B in math).</p>
<p>Would you treat it differently in light of the APD? Should I cut him more slack, or be more involved?</p>
<p>Good news here (I think)-- I just got the mail and looks like DS admitted to his deferred first choice school. I haven’t opened the envelope-- but it is the big envelope as described on here, not the small, thin envelope he got when deferred. I am trying to hold it up to the light but can’t see anything </p>
<p>Unfortunately DS is on a bus trip to Disneyland with his HS band so we won’t know until he gets back. </p>
<p>This may complicate the final decision if he is admitted but FA is not good-- but still nice to get good news</p>
<p>Oh Idahomom, I am dying here for you… but I cannot remember which was your deferral. I just have to wait for you to make the big announcement!</p>
<p>Still no mail from our big deferral school</p>
<p>BTW, we keep getting emails from U of Den admissions encouraging us to submit enrollment deposit. I finally called Admissions today to tell them we cannot submit because we don’t have any idea of FA! The Admin rep looked in the computer and said it looks like our package will get sent 3/15 - so maybe we will get it before the end of March.</p>
<p>@coral:
FOULING THE NEST!
Yes, that’s EXACTLY what DS is doing! Thanks for the apt description. I laughed for ages. </p>
<p>I’m sort of glad I’m not the only one. </p>
<p>I think it makes the idea of the ‘empty nest’ more palatable, or, dare I say, something to look forward to!</p>
<p>U. of Denver applicants, log on to webCentral and check your account re. financial aid.</p>
<p>Thanks gunnerz,
logged in for the 100th time and it still says no package available. It does have a new calculated Cost of Attendance = $56,000 - gee thanks. Not looking good for us.</p>
<p>Re: “Fouling the Nest” thought you all would enjoy this article: [Before</a> going off to college, a psychological separation – or too much homework? | WashingtonExaminer.com](<a href=“http://washingtonexaminer.com/before-going-off-to-college-a-psychological-separation-or-too-much-homework/article/300746]Before”>Before going off to college, a psychological separation -- or too much homework? | Washington Examiner) Note that the article mentions Spring of senior year & here we are!</p>
<p>Thanks coral-- lucky for me he gets back tonight. They went Wed- Wed so they have a few days at the end of spring break. It is LMU. Nothing from Denver FA for us either, and now I can worry about LMU FA as well, since it is likely he will be in the same situation there.
Hope you hear soon from your deferred school-- is it Chapman?</p>
<p>Found the Denver financial aid - thanks so much for the heads up gunnerz. </p>
<p>Idahomom - you have to dive into Financial Aid area of Admitted Students website and click link that says ‘view award letter’ and then a pdf pulls up with financial aid award letter.</p>
<p>Needless to say, my D was awarded a measly $3,500 subsidized student loan and nothing else. That represents 25% of our gap, plus a flat out denial (without any discussion or notification) of our appeal to consider 2013 income instead of 2012 income - a very strong case which I will explain thoroughly on CC when this is all said and done so that others can learn. Appeal/denial is not even mentioned in the award letter. They also denied our appeal for merit aid, even though the NPC had shown merit aid available for her stats - as I said earlier their answer was ‘very competitive applicant pool this year and NPC is based on last year’s info’.</p>
<p>Denver has made it very clear that they don’t need my D to attend their school. Not wasting money on a visit.</p>
<p>Mamaduck, the longstanding issues complicate this a lot. APD is little understood by most people and educators. The nagging issue of ADD isn’t quite resolved in his case either. It’s not just stubbornness on his part–although that’s also relevant. To be honest, when I read your first post, my initial thought was: ADHD–or at least processing speed issues. After reading your second post, I wonder if you shouldn’t at least have another evaluation if it has been a few years. My D had an inconclusive evaluation for ADHD in middle school but a second one revealed a stronger indication. That’s because one of the key questions on the evaluation is “how is this affecting your/his daily life?” and in middle school it was easier to slide by. Now that the rubber has hit the road in HS, the cracks are starting to show. He’s probably like my D13, really bright and charming, but frustrating to her teachers who hated to see the potential frittered away. </p>
<p>We personally made the decision to start medication at the end of sophomore year. For us the difference was remarkable. She also receives time accommodations on standardized tests. Getting that accommodation from from ETS, requires that an evaluation be done within the last 5 years (so be thinking about junior year) and that accommodations be in place in the school setting as well. </p>
<p>I did need to be more involved with my daughters homework situation. The problem was she tended to resist it as most teenagers do. If he’s willing to have you work with him on scheduling right now, I would jump on it because in 6 months he may change his mind.</p>
<p>Still no mail from Chapman. My hunch is that letters are mailed Friday 3/15. D is still oblivious to the fact that she has been updated to ‘Decision Reached’.</p>
<p>We have a new wrinkle in the decision process. D has new serious boyfriend and she is now mentioning she wants to go to community college in Santa Barbara - gee, guess where boyfriend lives, although he is applying for transfer to UC Berkley, UCSB and UCLA - not sure she realizes he has a 66% chance of not living in Santa Barbara next fall 
I believe she is actually going to let location of a boyfriend influence her decision. Not sure how I am going to approach this situation.</p>
<p>Coralbrook, so sorry about the disappointing $$$ from Denver. Keeping all digits crossed for acceptance and great dough from your daughter’s top choice. </p>
<p>idahomom, congrats to your son! Hope there is enough dough there for him!</p>
<p>mamaduck, Nyermom makes great points. Re-evaluation may be in order. Best of luck with all that, it sounds like he is open to trying new strategies at this point. That is HUGE.</p>