<p>I keep forgetting about this thread! I can’t believe we boarded the plane two weeks ago. Move-in was fantastic, despite 101 degree heat. The University has it DOWN to a science, with staggered move-in times and excellent staffing. We didn’t wait in a line for a single thing. D was in her room in no time. </p>
<p>Apparently she did a little too well on her French placement test, as she tested into 301/302. That proved to be over her head, so off to her advisor she went. Got an appointment for the very next day, no waiting, problem solved. She likes her classes so far, and has a cushy schedule for a freshman - earliest class any day is 11:00 a.m. HA! The only downside so far has been that both D and her roommate came down with bad colds on about the second day they were there. So that put a damper on things for several days, but she seems to have kicked it now.</p>
<p>Her roommate is very nice as are her parents. Her dorm is a small and fairly quiet one, so that seems to be good. As she said, “I’m not here for the luxury accommodations, Mom.” Good thing we chose the Super 8 dorm and the Cadillac meal plan. The first football game was a blast, and the first care package of things she forgot also included brownies aka: instant friend makers.</p>
<p>I have to say our relationship has actually improved now that we aren’t under each other’s feet anymore. I have let the communication originate from her most of the time, a text here or there, and occasional call but only when the subject requires too much info to text. Yesterday we skyped for the first time and she surprised me - she really, really looks happy and confident and comfortable. Not that I didn’t think she would be, but she actually wanted to tell me about her classes and some interesting social observations. She has seemingly matured overnight. No tears here - just really happy she is happy. Let’s hope it stays that way.</p>
<p>Popping in to say I really relate to the “text/phone blackout” parents, the “have-yet-to-cry” parents, and “crossing-fingers they are managing their stuff ok” parents. I’m not sure if it just hasn’t truly sunk in that this is not just a temporary camp trip that they’re on and the family dynamic is altered. Have noticed the grocery shopping is lighter (something someone previously noted in their posts earlier).</p>
<p>I mentioned to someone else that I actually thought launching for college was easier than sending them off to kindergarten. At 5 years old, you hoped they would communicate any issues and they would make friends. I had to accept that others would join their sphere of influence (teachers, peers, coaches). At 18, I feel like at least they can talk and tell us what’s up (at least, I hope). Friends will take time to make, but I think that will happen, and now I’m prepared for the fact that they will be as important if not more important than us in their lives. At least it seems that way for now.</p>
<p>I must say I’m quite jealous of those schools that have active parent facebook pages or even active parent CC threads. Is it the online world we’re so used to or some newly found helicopter tendency that I’m scoping the school website daily for images and information about what’s going on campus? I think I’m suffering from information withdrawal from kiddo’s life. I know deep down that is a good thing, but it just feels weird right now. </p>
<p>I liked the Michael Gerson column that YDS linked. Also, not sure if anyone posted it somewhere on CC but there was a letter from a parent to their son posted on CNN in their living section which was also poignant. </p>
<p>Completely different topic – anyone think the beds at their student’s colleges were just awful for the back? We could not believe the poor shape of the lumps and bumps and coils of that danged mattress. Now we understand why college kids pull all nighters, lol! You’d have to be dead exhausted or narcoleptic to get any sleep on that thing. Any suggestions on how to improve? Do those 3-inch mattress toppers really work if the underlying mattress just caves in?</p>
<p>Hope everyone is settling in to their schedules. Hang in there late-launchers, your turn’s coming up :)</p>
<p>My DD has a tempurpedic type (not the real brand) topper on her bed. Her actual mattress wasn’t sagging or lumpy but she said that the topper makes it really comfortable. I really don’t think with the room and board that most schools charge that a mattress should be “caving in”. Were they all like that or do you think your child just got a bad one. I would have your student check to see if they can get another one if it is really that bad.</p>
<p>Mattresses: S3’s mattress looked OK it was just VERY thin. Luckily his sister was the “Princess and the Pea” and insisted on a mattress topper. We got a gel memory foam mattress topper for about $100 at Costco and I have tried it out at home and it is pretty incredible.</p>
<p>We bought the Costco gel memory foam topper as well. I think it was WashU we toured where they said they were getting Tempur-Pedic mattresses for the dorms.</p>
<p>Welcome, PleaseBuyFlowers and GourmetMom–your names imply that you are perfect for our virtual luxury loving group. Hope you will join us for our next cruise.</p>
<p>Just got back from our move-in trip for DS…not quite coordinated with college move-in day, and so we were able to get a few things the other, closer roommates hadn’t brought–rugs, mostly, as the other roommates have supplied all the “essentials”: XBox, sofa, fridge. DS was very politely happy and sad to have us go. Now at home, trying hard not to offer any of my extremely good advice. ;)</p>
<p>anyone’s kid having difficulty getting used to the whole “academic” thing? For a kid who got straight A’s, for the most part…anyone’s kid who’s been doing the classes for more than two days have any wisdom? What to say, how to encourage…or help them feel less discouraged???</p>
<p>I have to admit Drmom that my D doesn’t talk about her classes when we text, she tells me about all the other things: being on an ultimate frisbee team and how many bugs are flying around during practice, rushing an engineering sorority, trying to find her mailbox (it took her a week and a half LOL and it was empty), getting an interview for a work study job, etc. At least I know she’s adjusting well and seems to be enjoying herself. I did ask how calc II was going and if she had a lot of homework. Her response was that the prof is not as “legit” as her HS calc teacher because it doesn’t sound like he’s done any real world work using calc so he can’t explain why concepts are needed. Her high school teacher had been an engineer and computer programmer and she could explain why each concept was needed in the real world and my D enjoyed knowing how it translated to the real world. She also has less homework than she did in high school. Of course, she could be having trouble with her classes and just not telling me about it.</p>
<p>My D and I talk about academics pretty regularly. We did in high school too so that may be a carry over. </p>
<p>She’s in week 3 and just as MSN mentioned has commented on the workload in calc. She also took advantage of free calc tutoring and actually sent me a screenshot of the As she scored on a recent assignment. She she has a study buddy too. Math has always been her strongest subject so talking about it came easy. </p>
<p>On the opposite spectrum her first English paper was reviewed this week and she said she was struggling with a topic. I think she emailed her professor and they worked it out . I was pleasantly surprised how approachable they seem. </p>
<p>When we chat I bring up academics every time so at least she knows that’s still a priority to me. Some days she has a lot to share and some I get the standard “good” but I keep asking.</p>
<p>I am very excited to report that I received first meaningful communication yesterday, in text format of course. It started with her telling me the classes she has dropped, the strange PE and Intro to Dance that were assigned by the school on her schedule. However, she was vague about what she is going to Add to fill her lost units. She’s still trying to navigate website to find open classes. I didn’t want to reveal that I know every corner of the website and could help her out! I’m convinced that she never visited the website all summer while I was addicted to checking it every day.</p>
<p>Most texts were about finding things back home that she forgot and she wants mailed. She claims she has no idea what her mailing address is, but I can see it right on her web page! Geez! I sent her a text with her address.</p>
<p>I’ve gotten some of that too - she forgot the cord to connect her camera to her computer to download pictures (along with - can I send some of her favorite cookies and some books she didn’t have room to pack.)</p>
<p>Our conversations have been mostly about finding books for her classes, how to buy online from the most reliable sellers. Classes are just getting started so not much information yet. She hadn’t started her first linear algebra assignment, but did say she knew a few other kids in her class to study with. She’s looking to add a yoga class but all the ones for her school were full, then it dawned on her that she could try it through the consortium. Haven’t heard if she was successful yet. She forgot about the time difference and was texting me after 11 last night when I was winding down to go to bed.</p>
<p>Coralbrook - my S also texted me to ask what his mailing address is! I told him to check his emails because they sent it to him about a month ago. Funny that I remembered that email and he didnt. But he says that he’s checking his emails now!</p>
<p>I have to learn how to text questions that cannot be answered “yes”, “no” or “fine”. </p>
<p>My mom sent his care package on Monday. Haven’t heard if he received it yet. I think all of his mail goes to the main campus in Lawrenceville and then is delivered to Princeton campus the next day. So…won’t be sending any perishables!!</p>
<p>About the bed -This was high on our list to make sure it was comfortable. The mattress they give you is just a jumping off point as far as I’m concerned. You basically have to build a mattress on top of the one they provide. My DH sufferd from back problems, and he’s convinced the boarding school beds he slept in for years in India contributed. We did the allergy sheet, the 3inch memory foam pad, the thick mattress pad and then the fitted sheet. She reported that the bed is awesome.</p>
<p>About classes- DD is just on the third day and has already had a paper due. She did the IB program in High school so her expectation is that shes going to have to work. Shes found some friends and study partners already so hopefully iron will sharpen iron. She was a serious musician and I was in a managing role more or less. I’m using the same approach I took that got her this far. Prayer, being honest with my thoughts, and positive encouragement that she will shine. Mostly lots of love!</p>
<p>About a printer- We waited to see if she needed one, but after last night we know she does. She texted from the library at midnight, that she couldn’t find one that worked. She ended up going to 3 floors before finding one. Needless to say I don’t want her out in late hours if she doesn’t have to be. She told me the library was packed. Still I worried</p>
<p>This group keeps me sane. Keep the discussion flowing folks!</p>
<p>Unfortunately my D seems to be focused on important clothing items she forgot such as" that black stretchy shirt with open back". Like I’m going to spend hours going through her room trying to find that important fashion item! OK, maybe I might, just because I want to make myself somewhat important in any way I can. </p>
<p>She is experiencing heat like she’s never imagined so she probably does not have enough hot weather clothing.</p>
<p>We too are at the two week mark and just got the first meaningful communication - there has been some texting back and forth but this was the first time D called to say hi. She loves it so far. She doesn’t feel there is enough time in each day to do all the things she wants to do. She has far more homework than expected - tons of reading. She likes her roommate but they probably won’t be great friends which is fine with both of them. They seem to get along but have very different interests. She is exhausted and needs more sleep…has been to quite a few parties and gatherings…she misses her dog but not us! So overall it has been a much easier launch than our older child who had a tougher adjustment. We are empty nesters now and although we really miss them, we are enjoying our new found freedom - just like that car commercial. I am actually very surprised how well things are going on all fronts, I keep waiting for the shoe to drop.</p>
<p>DS is still having big scheduling issues, and classes have already begun. He is inexperienced in self advocacy in big, inefficient bureaucracies; his high school was tiny. He tells me not to worry, “it is all under control.” Hah. And yet, here I am, unable to do anything. </p>
<p>What doesn’t kill him will only make him stronger.</p>
<p>Who knows how DD is doing. She has been in radio blackout since last Friday. DH and I broke down on Wednesday and checked her credit card account to confirm she is alive. She was, as of Monday. She’ll get no care package from me until she at least sends a one word text.</p>
<p>I clean house when I’m stressed. It is looking mighty tidy around here right now, although my hair and clothes are full of dust.</p>
<p>So far D loves her classes except one which she will change. She read good reviews about all her professors on ratemyprof before classes started. I thought it was funny that she shared with me that one of her professors was rated as a hottie. So I asked if he was handsome and she confirmed yes but his class is the one she is changing because another class works better for her minor.</p>
<p>DD is on her second day of classes. She is still trying to figure out what level math and language classes to take (to repeat the AP class or not). She sat for “10 seconds” in multivariable calculus yesterday before walking out with “half the class because no one could understand what the professor was saying.” Great. glad to know my tuition $$ are well spent on outstanding faculty. I think she was feeling nervous about taking that course to begin with, so anything would sway her to repeat the BC part of calculus. Not necessarily a bad decision, just may be a bit boring.
I’m waiting to hear about the higher level language class today. She had taken two years of college level language in high school so she placed into a very high (read: SCARY) class. She was going to sit in it today and see how that is.<br>
I got brave and cleaned up her room today so that the rest of my kids can use it for a study/quiet room. She really took everything with her. She didn’t pack like someone returning in November for Thanksgiving, she packed like someone leaving for the rest of her life. It made me feel really ill all morning.<br>
She has only been gone for 5 days now, but I’m definitely not over the hump yet. I still feel it acutely. We have been showering the other two with attention. My middle child said, “So this is what it feels like to be the oldest? Now I know what I have been missing for the past 16 years!” :)</p>
<p>I understand about repeating the AP classes. My DD is repeating Chemistry on advice from her advisor and she said “she is pulling her hair out” because it is moving so slow and she already knows the information. I told her to enjoy the easy A but I am not sure she has it in her!!!</p>
<p>I miss my dd but she is happy so it is hard to be sad. I think her 16 year old brother misses her the most!</p>