<p>SOG, just exactly which “situation” would get you involved? Perhaps you are fearing DS may also acquire a compulsion to collect Calvin Klein T-shirts? </p>
<p>[I’m afraid I had to google Warren Zevon.]</p>
<p>It goes something like this. </p>
<p>[Warren</a> Zevon - Lawyers, Guns and Money - David Sanborn Show, 1989 (HD) - YouTube](<a href=“- YouTube”>- YouTube)</p>
<p>Oh, thanks! :)</p>
<p>I’ll limit my assistance to the first and last on that list. I believe that sending the second is now a violation of today’s Student Standards and Practices on campus. :D</p>
<p>Of course, if it really is hitting the fan, he can always mop it up with the Calvin Klein tees.</p>
<p>well, its the one week mark since drop off, and I think I may be finally adjusting to “the new normal.” </p>
<p>DD had a panic attack about courses on thursday night. She just can’t find the right level to go into for language (too hard, too easy, too boring), and a class she thought she would love turned out to be not that great. She started texting me after mid-night when I had already been asleep. When she used to do late night panics like this on occasion last year, I would just text back something like: I’m too old for this - you’ll have to solve this yourself. goodnight.</p>
<p>But now, because she is so far away, she has more power over me. Twice I told her I needed to go to sleep and she responded “please don’t leave me.” So for a half hour we read course descriptions and teacher reviews. She finally settle 3 of the 4 classes and will sit in on two others next week. I received two very grateful thank you texts before I went to sleep and two more thank yous the next morning. </p>
<p>I have to say, I don’t miss her so acutely after that. She really is where she needs to be right now, and while it was good to feel needed - I need my sleep :)</p>
<p>Someone told me that when the first two kids leave home its terrible, but when you get to the third its like - “time to go now”. Something to look forward to!</p>
<p>You’re a great mom Carla. Thanks for sharing.</p>
<p>D is in an over crowded suite with 5 five girls. I’m scratching my head why college asked each student to fill out roommate forms to match study hours, sleep schedule and how important clean rooms matter because she was really mismatched. 3 of the 5 roommates stay up every night until 3am and are very messy. I rarely ever saw the bottom of D bedroom floor because she had clothes everywhere so for her to complain about messy, it must be bad. She said dirty plates and half eaten food left in the bathroom sink for days, yuck. Last straw is that her laptop charger went missing. She sounded exhausted and wants to move into an off campus apt. She knows someone who has an extra room. She has saved several thousand $ from her summer jobs and said she will pay. I’m thinking to meet her half way with the extra cost. I guess we just didn’t luck out with roommates even though she feels she lives in one of the nicest dorms. School will not change roommates, we already checked out that option, sigh.</p>
<p>Muf: Sorry about the roommate issues. FYI at some schools getting out of your housing contract can be extremely difficult.</p>
<p>Muff, the other place sounds better if she can get out of the housing contract and the girls refuse to be better suite mates. If not, has she tried RA or Faculty Resident mediation regarding late night noise levels or first asking the RA (confidentially) to do a surprise health inspection for unsanitary conditions? She has to be cautious against retribution; the RA/Faculty need to be warned of that if she thinks the charger was stolen. A lot of the time, kids are pigs because they are immature, selfish, and used to Momma cleaning up after them. They might improve, or better yet, your daughter may become super clean herself!</p>
<p>If she is in a double room off a living area, can she team up with the other girl who is the neater one and just treat their room as a dorm room without a living area? Dirty dishes in a sink can always be put onto the floor, or into a big cardboard box. With any luck, the roaches will clean off the food. Another room may become available if someone drops out after the first semester; she can request to be on that wait list.</p>
<p>I have heard of much worse roommate stories, but it always is traumatic when it is happening to you. Stolen items are what would most concern me. She needs to lock up her stuff and roomkeys cause sloppy kids sometimes steal others’ items when they lose theirs.</p>
<p>Carla, my vote is that you were a good Mom. Even Olympic gymnasts have a coach ready to catch them before they fly off the unevens. Our kids need to know that they still have that coach ready to step in before they land on their heads. Our job is to stand by the side and simply let them know that we are there for them in emergencies (and increasingly, as a last resort resource, especially at 2 am!). The kids need to practice solving their own problems, but I don’t want mine ever to think that they are alone, in a completely hopeless situation. I think you did great in that situation cause you heard the true panic in her voice. Parenthood is a lifetime contract.</p>
<p>So now I’m thinking that this “camp” is a bit longer than the ones in the past and not sure I like that anymore. I’m starting to remind myself of all the projects that I’m now going to get time to get cracking on…course some of you have me way beat with all your clean homes and neatly organized scrapbooks and photo albums and videos (don’t think I wasn’t reading all those posts way back to graduation parties & gifts).</p>
<p>Carla - Texts in the Night - sounds like a book title we should all check out from the library, to be prepared, huh? Sounds like you did one amazing job…</p>
<p>Muf - sorry about the roommate travails this early on. When did respect for others and just plain decency go out the door? You’ve got to believe these young adults are just spreading their wings and figuring out how to rule the roost on their own. It’s too bad they have to foul on others to feel better about themselves. Hope it gets better, but this is a perfect place to vent if you need to!</p>
<p>Dr. Mom - Happy to hear that no news is good news!</p>
<p>Cheers to all the dads with the sound advice to offspring! We promise to report back to you with all that we learn :)</p>
<p>So the last few weeks were crazy busy with a 10 day vacation followed by a very quick turnaround to launch S3. D1 started her first big-girl job and I had lots of chaos at work. The last couple of days life got back to it’s normal rhythm and today I miss S3 like crazy. </p>
<p>YDS: Thank you for being bothered about the faculty-mentor issue. I am bothered too. S3 is trying to resolve it, but they emailed back that not everyone is a perfect match. I think they think it is S3 that is not happy with the match. I think he needs to clarify.</p>
<p>Today’s Haiku</p>
<p>Got texts in the night.
Do I respond to my child?
How can I resist?</p>
<hr>
<p>[Sahp, have NO fear that my home is cleaner than yours. I’m at the point of just moving dust from stacks of outdated paperwork to my clothes and hair. Endless. I’ll finish perhaps by the time they graduate.]</p>
<p>again…no news…so, I am not sure what to do…I want to know how she’s doing…but, if I call/text…I may be sorry…</p>
<p>Hang in there drmom; I had to wait six days of radio blackout until DD called to say how much fun she was having and how well everything was going. Finally just heard this eve that DS had solved his schedule problems (yeah!) last week. Patience was rewarded (although I’m slightly daft now).</p>
<p>Remember when they were 2 weeks old and “out of sight, out of mind” ruled? It is happening again. They are NOT thinking of their parents now. Full circle.</p>
<p>drmom, how long has it been?</p>
<p>Drmom, I have had exactly one phone call since 8/19 from S, and it was to ask a question about his campus account. I said to DH that I really would like to Skype him this week. I don’t think that’s too pushy. </p>
<p>We text once or twice a week but not for long. His sister has heard from him so I know he’s alive. </p>
<p>I am contemplating searching for that thread where parents discussed how often they heard from their college freshmen. I’m sure we are at one end of the bell curve.</p>
<p>DD has texted a couple of times about a possible ear infection, a virus in her computer…her older sister called me to say she has heard from DD and “seems like she is actually having some fun!”…so, great…I “hear” the worries/yikes things and older sister gets to hear the fun stuff! I’ll give her a week… I’m actually afraid to call/skype, because I really don’t want to hear the negative stuff…ya know what I mean? there are reports from people I know who have facebook that “she looks happy”… what can I say?</p>
<p>Its so hard not knowing what is going on in their lives day to day. I have asked my kids to call at least once a week. Sometimes its a quick hello, sometimes I get details, but at least its “proof of life”. And they are required to answer all texts (eventually), but I don’t abuse the privilege. </p>
<p>So far, S2 seems to be having a great time. Making friends, going to parties. He thinks his classes will be manageable. He was placed into a higher piano class than he had thought he would- so he’s going to have to work at that. </p>
<p>On a personal front, we got internet at our flat so I got to catch up on all of your posts. I really enjoy reading everyones experiences. Hang in there, moms and dads.</p>
<p>Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts. On a good note, D still loves her school so the roommate glitch will be solved. 
I’m thinking to drive into the city this week to meet her on her day off. She wants me to bring her dog so we will take a walk in the park and have lunch at an outdoor cafe. Enjoy these last days of summer. The weather is gorgeous here in the NE right now.</p>
<p>DS txted DH this morning. He is swamped with school work and realized that one of his classes was taking up too much of his time so he dropped it… I’m glad he did dropped it now instead of later on in the semester. I told him that I thought it would be too much. Maybe next time he will listen to me…</p>
<p>We have talked with son about once every 10 days. I think it will go down as the semester goes on, but we of course have been interested in what he is doing, eating, etc.</p>
<p>Classes are going OK but his design studio class is a ton of work outside of class in addition to meeting 6 hours per week in the studio. Like several others here, he is taking Calc 1 even though he took AP Calc AB. Same thing with Micro Econ. So far, both classes have been mostly review so that is helping.</p>
<p>He has been participating in lots of on campus activities. He went to the annual ‘Down and Dirty’ swing dance this past Friday. It was in the evening outside on the huge student union patio with a live swing band. Looks like they had quite a few folks attend.</p>
<p>Is thinking about joining the kayak club with some friends.</p>
<p>For Sunday brunch at the dining hall, he enjoyed biscuits and gravy, a pancake, a banana, and a cherry turnover. Oh to be young again.</p>