<p>Aw Pepper, I’m sorry your D had such a rough week and I can certainly sympathize. My D is going through the same thing. The only difference is that she’s not terrific in her sport! It eats way too much time so she’s always exhausted and playing catch up. She tells me that the junior on her team routinely stays up til 3 a.m. to finish homework and that there are a number of senior girls with Cs in their classes. The team has a race tomorrow which requires a 4:30 a.m. departure. Really? 4:30? I agree, this is not something that’s sustainable over the long haul. For now it’s one day at a time.</p>
<p>Missing the National Merit cutoff by ONE point would be very frustrating, particularly if the kid would have qualified the year before!</p>
<p>GoAskDad – I want to second what other parents have suggested about looking for a community orchestra, or one at a nearby junior college or university, or a chamber group. Your private lesson teacher and/or store where you buy your musical supplies might be able to point you to a group. </p>
<p>My D1 (HS2012) ran into a problem similar to what you’re describing with the conductor of the upper orchestra at her HS. Luckily her (large!) HS has multiple groups, and the beginner’s orchestra is run by a different faculty member. She was able to re-arrange her schedule to be string coach for him. She also played with a various outside groups throughout HS. </p>
<p>I don’t think that skipping HS orchestra in favor of some other musical outlet would hurt a kid’s chances to play at college – although you might have to explain it on his app if he’s applying as a music major. (Frame it as “pursued terrific opportunity outside of HS”, rather than “ditched horrible HS orchestra teacher”.) </p>
<p>My D1 auditioned for her college’s main orchestra but wasn’t selected. I suspect they fill up mainly with music majors, and their 5~10 performances per semester(!) would’ve been too big of a time commitment to combine with her engineering major’s course-load. She was disappointed at first, but quickly found a nice chamber group that just does one performance at the end of the semester. It’s just the right level for her, and she’s very happy making good music with good friends. :)</p>
<p>Goaskdad- That’s a tough situation. I hate to hear about kids passionate about the Arts experiencing probs like this. Unfortunately, it happens all too often.</p>
<p>Pepper- hope the next few weeks are better. Her life sounds like my d’s a few weeks back. HS sport schedules are tough!</p>
<p>Homecoming went fantastically. The cold weather stayed off till this morning. I had 20 for dinner. Served maggiano’s which is always a big hit. What a great group of kids! Nice to get to know them and their parents. I wish I could share photos with you! They left my house about 9 and went to the dance for about an hour. Another family then hosted them for s’mores and a bonfire. The actual dance seems to be the lowest point of the evening. </p>
<p>On my 3rd cup of coffee, everything cleared and tided away. Looking froward to a lazy sunday… d2 on the other hand has lots of school work and her Governor’s honors program interview to prepare for.</p>
<p>I am always so sorry to hear about these teachers who manage to ruin programs but nothing can be done about it-why is that exactly? It happens everywhere and it really makes me sick! We too have a music teacher who has almost the themselves destroyed the music program in this town. He is at the middle school-by the time the kids survive him-if they do-most of them want nothing to do with it at HS. My daughter had talent but had no interest in pursuing it in 6th grade because she knew what it would be like. My son managed but had to give up band in 12th grade-too many conflicts. I think the out of school programs mentioned are great options!</p>
<p>Gibson glad to hear the party was a success!</p>
<p>Oh 3girls that sounds awful-and that is year round correct? At least her season is going to end within two weeks for better or worse-it may end as early as next Saturday. If she played a winter sport she would be going right into that one-I am so glad she said no last year and will continue to say no-she has a good handle on what she wants to do and even though I wish she would do certain things she has to do what she enjoys and makes her happy-and I give her credit for knowing when she needs a break.</p>
<p>I have noticed the level of homework for her is far greater than it was for her brother. Even factoring in the sports time spent she has considerably more than he did with similar schedules-it really is too much and I am not the only parent who has noticed it.</p>
<p>So my son is doing very poorly with his life this week-he didn’t get the coop he coveted and his classes are hard and he is generally a mess! Good grief another round of Whack-a-Mole!</p>
<p>Yes the poor kid missing by a point is awful but I posted it to also remind us all that it is a one day test and it is very easy to have a bad day or a good day too and it not to be enough. SO much of the college process I feel is really beyond their control so if they are doing the best they can that is all we can ask. I would not advise her nor did I ever advise him to do something since it would look good for college admissions. I figure they should be doing what they enjoy-of course I will make sure they are taking appropriate classes but the EC’s are up to them. </p>
<p>Hope anyone in the path of Frankenstorm stays safe!</p>
<p>GoAskDad, I don’t know what the restrictions are where you live, but around here, the student must be part of their school orchestra or be home schooled to participate in the big state competition. While outside orchestras can be both more prestigious and better learning experiences than a school orchestra program, there’s a feeling that students must support their own school’s music programs.</p>
<p>This is an issue for my violin-playing DD. She has moved from a school with a wonderful orchestra program to a magnet school where the orchestra program is definitely problematic. She’s not a part of school orchestra this year, but she is part of outside programs, and of course, private lessons. I think that next year she’ll need to be part of the school orchestra because she’ll want to compete in the big state-wide competitions.</p>
<p>I think for a lot of our musically talented kids there are real issues as to how they should be spending their time and energy, particularly if music is a big part of their life (major EC) but they have no desire to be music majors or conservatory students. For all of these talented kids there are difficult trade-offs. </p>
<p>DD is definitely struggling with how to balance everything, and she just got the big lecture from her private teacher that she needs to be spending more time, or at least differently allocated time on her solo work. The work she’s putting in is fine for being a good orchestra member, and even a leader, but it’s not sufficient for her solo work. As a parent who is really worried about the sophomore year grades, it’s hard to know how to direct her.</p>
<p>I’m really interested in how other parents see this trade-off for their musically talented and interested kids who are NOT going to be music majors in college.</p>
<p>D1 (sophomore in college) was a flute player and marched for 4 years in high school. She made district honor band every year since 8th grade. We are on block schedule, so it was hard to balance a band class with her rigorous academic schedule. She attended a zero block class (before school )Freshman year she joined the debate team and was hooked. Over the HS years, debate took over and music became a secondary EC. Her Junior year she chose a debate tournament over attending District Honor band performance. That was the last time I paid for private lessons.</p>
<p>She loved band and band kids, but knew she wasn’t going to pursue music. I think the band director was disappointed, but kids have to make choices. I was happy when I heard her playing in the basement this summer. The flute went back to college this year. She will always the joy of picking up her flute and playing for herself. I think it is a great destressor in her busy life.</p>
<p>I guess what I am trying to say is that students interests evolve and sometimes the situation takes care of itself. She thought she would be struggling to fit band class into her life and then when pushed, it wasn’t the problem she thought it would be.</p>
<p>Hope everyone impacted by Sandy stays safe!</p>
<p>Pepper- remind your S when one door closes another opens! I am sure the right opportunity is out their for him.</p>
<p>GoAskDad - life’s too short to put up with an orchestra that has no fun, either in musical experience or fun. I second what everyone is saying about finding other opportunities to play. A lot of times, there are adult community musical groups that are happy to mentor a kid. Put out feelers everywhere you can think of - local community groups, local private teachers, music stores, etc. There is something cool going on out there that your son can participate in. Are you near a medium or large city? It’s hard to keep it fun and interesting and to progress if he’s only taking lessons - it’s really good to find some group to play in. But I would never encourage one of my kids to stick with something that is sucking the fun out of making music. Good luck!</p>
<p>IJD, my D is talented musically but has also struggled to fit it in with her fairly rigorous class schedule. She was in orchestra and choir last year (both were classes) and this year she is in neither. She was done with orchestra because it was no longer fun for her and her teacher was unpleasant. As for choir, she dropped it this year so that she can get some core requirements out of the way. She continues to take private voice lessons and will audition for the higher level choir groups for next year. We are looking around for some community choirs that she could join if time allows. We are also looking around for a good piano teacher because she loves to play and wants to improve.</p>
<p>She is considering trying out for a musical in the spring, but she is concerned about the time commitment eating into her time for studying. I’m going to let her make the call.</p>
<p>All of that being said, she is not going to major (or even minor) in anything music-related. She just loves it. She’s a musician through and through, and it’s something I think that will bring her happiness throughout her life, so I’m encouraging the lessons as long as she can manage her classwork. I’m not sure if all of this is helpful. It’s just the way we’ve decided to approach it.</p>
<p>D2 had her Governor’s honors county level interview last night. She looked so grown up in her business attire. She had a black jacket from FBLA in middle school that still fit, borrowed one of her sisters beige business skirts, cream blouse and she was perfect! We practiced shaking hands, introducing herself and some mock interview questions on Monday night. In some aspects she is mature beyond her years, this process reminded me she is just 15. She was very nervous. When she came out of her 15 min interview, she was so flushed and had a red rash all around her neck and chest. She was very happy with how the interview went. Her interviewer was an older lady, who appeared to put the kids at ease and just talked to them. D was happy with the type of questions and could work responses she had rehearsed into the discussion. Not sure when she finds out if she makes it to the next round. This has been great practice for college interviews. Trying to set her expectations that 10th graders rarely progress and to be happy she was nominated.</p>
<p>Hi everyone…new to all this. I have a D15. She takes Algebra II, Chem, French III, Global Hist., Eng., and she plays the flute. She took Sat II in Bio (all students here do) but no PSAT this year. School discourages since no advantage (doesn’t count at all).Her interests are reading, karate (earned her black belt last year), and spending time with friends and bf of one year. In school she controls the lighting board for the play and participates in Academic Challenge. She is a funny and kind kid (not always with her bro age 12).
I guess I don’t stress about college. I teach HS Math (just finished 20+) recommendations and everyone around here seem to get into tier 1/2 schools…some with lower GPAs than you’d expect. Two close friends work in admissions and share with me how much weight your home school carries. I know students with no APs or SAT IIs who have gotten into tier I schools bc of “quirky” majors. These yrs. pass quickly and don’t want to spend it stressing more than usual.
My daughter is interested in East Coast college (major psychology or forensic science?). Right now, my advice to her is work and study hard, take classes you enjoy, follow your passions, and enjoy time with your friends. There are so many “fun” electives available next year and I don’t want her focus to be “what looks good” for college.
My D’s school starts talking with parents in frosh yr. about college. They reminded us that our parenting skills are not judged by the bumper sticker that goes on our cars:)
Looking forward to hearing everyone’s journeys. Read last few weeks and you sound like wonderful, concerned, and like all of us, busy parents.</p>
<p>Gibson - crossing fingers for your D! What a great experience!</p>
<p>welcome, eerboco! My S says he might want to major in Psychology. I have no idea where that came from, except maybe he’s driven to figure out what the heck is up with his crazy family! Do you have any thoughts about what she might want to do with a degree in Psych? It’s hard to ignore all the warnings about it being tough to get a job with a psych degree. I’ve always been on the “follow your interests” side of things, but I’ve got to admit, getting beaten up by the economy for a few years and seeing so many graduates not getting jobs has me with one foot solidly in the “get a marketable degree” camp. Do you have any insights on schools to look into or what she might do after her undergrad?</p>
<p>DD had 3 exams (AP NSL, Honors Chemistry, and Spanish III) this morning due to school closing on Mon and Tuesday because of Sandy. The end of the first term in tomorrow so all of the teachers are cramming in 5 days of testing into two days. She was a little stressed yesterday but I had a feeling that this was going to happen. I had her study a little during the storm but the weather and the events were distracting.</p>
<p>Although we weren’t devastated by the storms, we had a lot of trees down, flooding, and power outages in the area. We had strong winds, rain for over 24 hours and then the temps. dropped. I’m soo thankful that the power stayed on. Usually our power goes out right away. We moved from Southern Florida years ago and I feel for all of the people who have were devasted by the storms. Don’t forget to donate to the Red Cross or give blood if you can. It does help.</p>
<p>Hi,
I haven’t posted for a while but with yesterdays events at school I thought I should share. We had a visit from the US Ambassador to Germany at school, and I have to tell you he is a great advocate for the US. He entertained 300+ students for 2 hours with tales from America and also explaining the election process. Every student listened and a lot also asked him questions, he was very open and easy to talk to, put the kids at ease, and is generally a very likable man.
Also I have been watching Hurricane Sandy news and you are in my thoughts.</p>
<p>D.'s first quarter is done. She is getting all As but a B in English. she has a 89 in English. It’s mainly because she had two project turned in late. I guess she should learn a lesson but I really think it is cost her too much than it should - She did one of the project in June. That was a summer assignment, counts something like 180 points. She spent a lot time on it and really worked hard. She finished it in June. Then after 3 months it was the due time. Somehow she didn’t remember it was due that day. So she didn’t turn it in. She got a zero for that project!! the next day the teacher said she could turn it in for partial credit. The second project she got 70%. It was a writing assignment. The teacher collected the final product, and said she needed all the preliminary drafts. D. didn’t pay close attention to what needed to be turned in. She turned in the final version. She got 70% because she didn’t turn in the 1st, 2nd and the 3rd drafts. Those two submission errors cost her a whole letter for this quarter. Somehow D. has trouble understanding and remembering this teacher’s instructions. I’m quite nervous about this. The teacher said if she did well, she could still earn an A for the semester, since what she has now is a very high B. </p>
<p>I’m nervous about this whole situation and esp. with this teacher. She is going to try, but problems may occur in the same fashion. </p>
<p>Maxwell - wow - congrats to your D on her great grades! Turning in two partial or late projects would cost a lot in my S’s classes too. Those kinds of things used to slip by my HS 2012 son all the time! Hopefully it won’t happen again, but overall she’s doing great, so take a moment to enjoy it! :)</p>
<p>D just went back to school this morning. In many surrounding towns, school is cancelled for the week. The NJ Teachers Convention scheduled for next week in Atlantic City is postponed, so maybe some of the missed days can be made-up.</p>
<p>I sat in line for an hour to fill my car with gas. NJ State Troopers were posted to keep order. Most of the stores are receiving restocking orders for perishables, so it’s not horrible. It does get cold at night for those who still don’t have power or a generator.</p>
<p>@maxwell, the first B is the hardest to accept. But she still has chance to pull it up. Even if it’s a B, it’s not bad at all. Her grades are amazing!</p>
<p>Maxwell, grades sound great. Not uncommon for students to have several B’s in higher level courses. Last year one of my calc students was concerned that her B in BC Calc and AP Physics would keep her from the Ivies, but she made all 3 she applied to. My children’s school does not accept any assignments late and gives 0. I think this is harsh esp. for students with ADD or learning issues. The Math teacher gives no partial credit bc it leads to “mediocrity”. I guess my children hve learned the hard way to check their work and hand it in on time. If I did this, the parents in my district would go crazy…helicopter parents indeed!
We are very fortunate to have power after 2 days. My whole town is a dark ghost town. Two years without trick or treaters. There has been no school for any of us all week. Will know Sunday about next week. Will have to give quarter grades when we get back without students taking a quarterly to help their grade. My juniors are going to be sad about their C+s</p>
<p>Pinot : My D likes psychology bc she is interested in criminal forensics as well. One uncle is in FBI, while another in Homeland Sec. My niece was a pretty good student (could have worked harder) but went to U Chicago for psych. Upon graduating 2 yrs. ago, found job right away and they pay for graduate studies. One of my favorite students went to UNC Chapel Hill for psych and then changed her major to botany! She graduated last year and found a great paying job. My neighbor’s son was A+ student throughout prep school, went to Yale for business and is back home because he struggles to find work. Go figure! I do think my D also likes psych bc of her own crazy relatives.</p>
Do you have any thoughts about what she might want to do with a degree in Psych? It’s hard to ignore all the warnings about it being tough to get a job with a psych degree. I’ve always been on the “follow your interests” side of things, but I’ve got to admit, getting beaten up by the economy for a few years and seeing so many graduates not getting jobs has me with one foot solidly in the “get a marketable degree” camp. Do you have any insights on schools to look into or what she might do after her undergrad?</p>