Maybe she met some of the girls and felt like it would be fun @Ballerina016 . You know your daughter. Have you had reason to not trust her judgment before? Maybe it truly is an informed decision that she put some thought into.
@carolinamom2boys Maybe. But this sudden change of heart on a third day on campus is sort of out of character. As we discussed here kids we left on campus are not the same kids that will come home in December.
I am not sure about financial aspect. I am definitely not paying for it. She works and can pay out of her earnings @readingclaygirl
@readingclaygirl - congratulations!
@ballerina016 - I understood the sororities at her school are mainly for housing and not the kind of traditional ones at other schools. Older D stayed at one when she went to admitted days and mentioned that there was a big difference but I donât remember what exactly.
Thanks @texaspg
I need to go back to sleep right now! Just saying [-O<
I have talked to several parents of freshmen IRL this week that either already have or will soon be picking their kids up from school for a visit home and/or visiting them there. All have been there less than 2 weeks?!? DS 's school recommended no trips home for 4-6 weeks. Anyone elseâs school make a recommendation? Regardless, DS is not planning on coming until an event he wants to attend here. I know I came home myself sooner than that, but it was to meet my sisterâs new baby. Labor Day weekend is tempting but DD has social events, I have volunteer work and DS has class on Monday. Trying to focus instead on: one week down and only 6 more until DS comes home for a visit.
Many of the schools around here recommend 6 weeks as well . DS16 isnât planning a trip home until the first weekend in Nov, but we will see him in October for parents weekend. DH will see him today briefly when he goes to pick up the jeep that is finally fixed. Heâs dropping off his bookbag that finally arrived off of back order and his old glasses as a spare.
@Ballerina016 Maybe itâs because she has met new people and thinks it could be fun and a new way to make more friends. My oldest daughter always thought that sororities were dumb and then last year (sophomore year) joined a theater one and loves it.
@Cheeringsection yes DDâs school did tell us that space is a good thing and to wait before visiting and visits home. We will see her in October for parents weekend.
We are two hours away and went to visit on Labor Day weekend instead of Parentâs weekend.
H wanted to go today to bring additional items, (itâs been 1 week) but I think itâs too soon. Our other kidsâ schools recommended one month of separation before any visits.
Thereâes a whole thread on this on one of the other forums. I think that how often your kiddo comes home depends on the family and the kid in question. I went to college two hours away and went home every weekend the first month. I wasnât homesick-just had a very close family and 4 younger siblings to do things with. After that it was once a month. Spring semester I went home only for spring break, and in the following years only when school was closed down, except that one weekend where we got 2 feet of snow and my house was the base for some skier friends. I donât think my next closest sibling, who went to school an hour away, went home any more than she absolutely had to-she always had something going on at college. Another sister went across the county and only went home at winter break and the end of the school year.
A couple of days isnât going to really derail a studentâs friendship-building or keep them from settling in unless theyâre already having problems. Theyâll still be eating, sleeping, going to classes with and having evening opportunities with other students the other 5 days. Do what works for your families.
My D is 2,000 miles away but sheâs the type who would WANT to come home often but wouldnât, because she would have so many plans she would know which to give up. Weâll see her at Thanksgiving and Christmas, but I think plans are already being made for her to visit friends during their spring break. Even if she came home for a weekend, sheâd have a thousand places to be and things to do itâs not like I see much of her-kind of like before she left home.
@Cheeringsection, at the opening event at DS school, they really stressed waiting at least 4-6 weeks to visit with our kids so that they would have time to settle in and deal with some of the homesickness they will all feel. Parent weekend is 5 weeks after move-in, so they encourage everyone to wait until then to make a visit or to bring their kids home for a weekend. Fortunately, DSâ roommate lives even farther from campus than we do, so he wonât be leaving every weekend to go back to his house.
Right now my DS is so busy with orientation events that Iâm guessing heâs in the âhoneymoon periodââŠonce things settle down and he has time on his hands, heâll probably miss home and having his own room much more. He tends to be a homebody, so I think we really need to wait and go see him at Parent Weekend. Plus, a few weeks before he left he said âyouâll come visit me each week, right? or every 2 weeks?â He was somewhat serious, and itâs a 3 hour drive to see him, so giving him a month to settle in is probably what he needs.
@Cheeringsection We wonât see our sweet girl until October. Weâve been told (and completely agree) that 4-6 weeks is the best way to go for the student and the parents. Someone asked me the other day if I was going to transfer to our headquarters in DC. I said no for several reasons. First she needs to continue being the independent young lady she has been for the last several years and Iâm retiring next year and moving to Coastal Georgia soon there after (we will visit DC often).
Okay so a little surprise. We/she knew sheâd be in a co-Ed dorm but momma and daddy were surprise to see her (and her five roomies) right next door to four guys 
I agree with you @sseamom . It should be assessed on a case by case basis. I donât know why one would think that magically at 6 weeks the umbilical cord would be cut and the student would be magically independent . If there are rules in place at the school , thatâs one issue . But if a parent feels like they want to make a quick trip or the student wants to come home for a quick visit before the six week point, I donât believe that it will derail their entire college experience . As I said upthread , my husband returned to Charleston to pick up the jeep and to deliver some items that arrived too late to take last weekend. He will drop them off and take DS16 to lunch while he is there. Then he will head back up the road. That doesnât mean heâs a helicopter parent. It means that we didnât want to pay to ship
items that could easily be dropped off. DS16 will return to the dorm and attend an activities fair with his suitemates none the worse for wear. All of this to say, trust your gut, trust your child and donât be made to feel guilty for making a decision that is right for your family. One size does not fit all.
On parent weekend the place was going to be a zoo, so we asked when she would rather have us visit. We walked around campus a bit (H had not seen it yet) and took her and roommate out for lunch.
@HappyFace2018 DS16âs suite is right next to a suite of 6 girls.
D is all settled in 1500 miles away and seems to have enjoyed the first week of classes. We dropped her off on the 18th and I saw her briefly on the 22 (had to go back to retrieve some empty suitcases and because we couldnât cram all of her stuff into the rental car on move-in day - we flew with 9 bags and then picked up all her Target and BBB stuff)
Her roommate is very cool, but the first few days, they felt like the âweirdâ girls in the hall (roommate is goth, D has a bit of an edge to her - well compared to the super outdoorsy kids on the floor). D said she felt better once classes started and she could meet a variety of people. Sheâs also been hanging out with some kids she met during orientation who live nearby and with a sophomore she knows from back home.
She has her ticket home for Thanksgiving. I donât think weâll make it out to parents weekend (depending on airfare) but sheâll probably spend a weekend at her roommateâs house near Denver. The whole dropoff happened so quickly that I didnât really have time to be emotional (she wanted to sleep in on move-in day, so we had just enough time to get her stuff in her room, make her bed, have S19 set up her drawers and stuff, grab a slice of pizza and leave 3 minutes before her first orientation event. I teared up a little when we arrived back at Dulles, on the way to baggage claim without her, and I still keep expecting her to come home from work.
Agree that one size never fits all. We have plans to visit on what will be week four or five, but we text nearly everyday. I personally think it would be strange to live with someone for 18 years and then try to go without any contact for a week at a time for reasons that donât work for one reason or another. If what you are doing is working for you and your family, then donât worry what others think or say. You just have to be open enough with your kid for them to feel comfortable saying you arenât giving them enough space.
I agree that one size does not fit all and it is encouraging to hear that while it is a fairly common recommendation, families are making their own choices. When people IRL ask about our plans their reactions to us waiting to go until parents weekend in early Oct and then DS home for fall break end of Oct runs the gamut from âhow can you\he wait that long?â to âleave the boy aloneâ. Just like choosing a school, there just is not one right answer.
Oh, and the other reason this has come up IRL is Labor Day Weekend. My DS has class on Monday so it is not as tempting as it might otherwise be to go to him. Do your DC have class?