Hugs to all those not getting quite the news they wanted. I am sure the right school for your DC will become clearer as this process works its way out. Congratulations to those with acceptances. Take the opportunity to catch up with any friends home from their first semester of college. I think they may be a valuable resource to you.
Here is a link to CAâs information about what schools can âseeâ on their application prior to it being submitted (once a student âlistsâ them on CA). I have no idea if other schools with separate apps would have similar practices or not.
Regarding the age thingâŠI was mistaken for being âgrandmaâ quite a few times when out in public with my kids when they were grade school age!
@EastGrad I suppose I am more âsavvyâ than I give myself credit for since I use CC!
DD hardly had any promotional pamphlet. She addes a couple of schools to CA in late October and removed the school a couple of days later. She received promotional pamplets from the schools.
If only D could âsnapchatâ her schools. That is her sole use of social media these days.
As far as showing interest, I know that my own alma mater considers visiting the school, emailing the adcomm, and attending any local meeting (at studentâs high school, college fair, etc) âshowing interest.â Social media was never mentioned.
Itâs such a dynamic time right now with EA/ED decisions rolling in, final exams, and for many the last difficult push to get the remaining applications completed and submitted.
The deferrals and rejections are tough, especially because many of our kids have been so successful that theyâve never so starkly fallen short. I also know (based on S14âs experience and the Class of 2014 parent thread) that even though kids and parents know that highly-selective and lottery schools are a longshot, many of us still hold out unrealistic expectations of getting accepted. S14âs most selective schools had admit rates around 25%. He didnât have much going for him except for stellar standardized test scores and having gone to a fancy-pants private high school, but nonetheless other than UCLA (where we knew he stood no chance) we were surprised and disheartened with each rejection. Some of the deferrals/rejections here (e.g., Stanford, Caltech, and no doubt other schools that were not specifically named) are schools w single-digit to low-teens admit rates. As one of my astute friends put it, if you donât have a solid hook with these schools you should be surprised if you get accepted, not if you get turned away. One of the oft-repeated sayings in our family is that happiness is inversely proportional to expectations. As best as possible, itâs important to have realistic expectations here.
All that is not to say that it doesnât hurt to get those negative decisions, but as Wayne Gretzky said, âYou miss 100% of the shots that you donât take.â Taking that shot was still worthwhile. Our kids are (or need to be) resilient. I think that it is also critical to note that deferral/rejection from these schools in the EA/ED round doesnât say a whole lot regarding what RD decisions are coming down the pike. The randomness of decisions of the highly selective schools has already been noted on the thread. There was an NYT Op-Ed a couple of years ago from an admissions person at ?Swarthmore that said that beyond a certain point the adcomm could/should simply toss the remaining apps up in the air, accept the ones that landed on the table and reject the ones that fell to the floor. S14âs wait-list letter from Tufts went something like: The adcomm felt that over 40% of the applicants would be a good fit and thrive at Tufts and could no longer be differentiated from each other, but they could accept less than half of those 40%. So if the stats, LORâs, and some semblance of ECâs are there, there will be good news later in the process.
The college counselors at our fancy-pants high school, who are very good, repeatedly tell the parents that as flawed as the college admissions process is, it still works the overwhelming percentage of the time to get kids to schools where theyâre a good fit. Iâm in general dubious of statements like that, and we all know anecdotal evidence where that wasnât the case, but I think there is actually a lot of truth to it. Our high school hosts a âback from collegeâ night every December where my wife volunteers, so sheâs heard lots of stories from happy and not-so-happy kids in their freshman and sophomore years. Her take is that happiness has more to do with the kid, and much less to do with whether they got their first choice or their fourth choice. Again, none of this fully softens the blow of a deferral/rejection, and March is a long three months away, but the focus is now best put on doing the best job possible on any remaining apps, getting good grades this semester, and soldiering on.
@Booajo actually a lot of colleges on Dâs list do have Snapchats. That is one of the few social media sites I do not stalk though, so Iâm not sure how it works. 
Sorry for the disappointment @kittymom1102
@CAMidwestMom â Well, Iâm not easily impressed, but I was doubly impressed by six kids (!!) and by your having a D26 (!!!). You are heroic.
However, I have to note that this June when S16 graduates Iâll be a couple of years older than youâll be when your D26 heads off to college. So Iâve got you beat there. That said, weâve had it easier than you. Our two older daughters (my wifeâs girls from her first marriage, whom we raised together) are 34 and 37 y.o., so our two litters were separated by fifteen years. And there were only four.
When we had the boys in our 40âs we said that raising them would keep us young. Indeed it has.
Youâll be qualified to be a certified college counselor by the time youâre done.
@kittymom1102 and @Ballerina2016, certainly Caltechâs loss. I know it makes your heart hurt to see them disappointed though. @Ballerina2016, we will hope for good news from her first choice on Wednesday.
@AsleepAtTheWheel Iâd say youâre heroic for having 2 âlittersâ separated by 15 years! Love that you refer to them that way. :))
Most of the parents of my kidsâ friends are older than us by 5-12 years so here we feel younger, but Iâve noticed on college visits that there is more of an age spread.
@palm715 Thanks for the tip! I donât snapchat myself, but Iâll pass it on.
@RyanG1207 â Yeah, Iâve used the âlitterâ line before.
When we went to back-to-school night with the girls we were among the youngest parents there. I guess you know that feeling. I have to say itâs better than being among the older parents.
@AsleepAtTheWheel Thanks! I definitely donât think itâs heroic. It is fun and a bit crazy! I sure have learned a lot this time around. My D26 will definitely benefit from my counseling/admin assistant capabilities!
I agree about the age spread being bigger at the college visits. The place I feel the most old is at my youngestâs gymnastics team. Iâm one of the few that doesnât have a little one on my hip and probably one of the only dealing with college admissions and PreTeam gymnastics for an 8yo!
I have a D24 myself. I feel old at all elementary school functions. I canât even imagine how we will pay for school for her. She has been on a lot of college tours already. Interestingly, my 2 high schoolers have no clue where to go or what to study. The 9 year old? She is certain she will go to Eckerd and study marine biology, while having a dog in her dorm. LOL
The dog in a dorm is a definite selling point. If my D knew that she would be adding Eckerd to her list!
Just came back from Dâs âinterviewâ - in quotation marks because she had already been accepted (via snapchat). It was basically a get to know you chat with the Admissions Rep and D received her official acceptance packet and scholarship notification. We celebrated with Grand Slam breakfasts at Dennyâs. Now D has an acceptance to a ginormous school, a medium sized school and a very small school. Iâm so looking forward to seeing where all of our kids land!
Two tips:
Colleges use social media in assignments now, so your students should get up to speed now. They should start thinking of their social media use in a professional category.
If you have a kid with LDs, ADHD, ASD, or other learning-affecting issue, get a fresh neuropsych eval using ADULT tests by June If you want your students to have an easier time seeking ADA accomodations from the college. Plus, make sure the student has solid and proven self-advocacy skills in place now. Will be needed in college.
@aaloin6 All of your 23 posts on various threads are to advertise the countdown thing.
I donât believe you are supposed to post anything unless relevant to the topic, and I also think one of the CC rules is not to advertise anything. Is this correctâŠcan anyone else on here speak to the guidelines for posting on CC?
Looks like all of the threads were removed @4kids2graduate
I am 52, mysonsmom is 58. This is our last child so I still have kids in my class whose parents are my or my wifeâs age so we donât get called old, yet. Itâs always odd though when I meet a parent whose kid is 17 and mom is 35 or younger.