DS actually received multiple calls from one school which he visited but was completely unimpressed by. We took two of those calls in the car enroute to other college visits. I will say I was impressed with the caller’s poise even after they knew they were on speaker so the entire family could hear. My DS did finally tell them he would not apply.
Official snail mail acceptance to Purdue arrived yesterday. It is nice to receive but without any mention of merit yet it is not really all that exciting.
Today is the last day of the first semester. Finals in 2 classes as they are divided into one and two (Anatomy and Physiology and Psychology) so they can drop now without penalty. All A’s and a high B+ in A &P. She’s hosting a party at our house tomorrow evening. Then sleep for 2 weeks.
D16 and D19 have finals through Tuesday next week.
D16 gets to see Star Wars tonight with her friends. I hope the anticipation of seeing the movie wasn’t a distraction for her studying for today’s exams.
Super Congrats to all receiving great news on acceptances, honors and scholarships!
I am enjoying reading about how many of the students are actively engaged in finding their best collegiate environment. At our house we have been having many spirited conversations regarding many colleges (that have come on our radar), their size, location, political leanings, academic and fun quotient vibes, etc. Like many on this thread, my D wants to be a part of a college community that puts time and energy in their academics but not by sacrificing the fun quotient. S14 went his first semester to a school where fun was the priority and academics where the afterthought…that did not work for him and it totally would not work for more intense D. For my kids the appropriate social and academic fit is so important to having a positive college experience. I wish for all our kids that they find their appropriate mix of academics and social so that will be able to look back with smiles on their “glory days” for these are truly some of the best years of their lives!
Regarding singing around the house - once I was frustratedly doing housework and sang (from “Bye, Bye, Birdie”),
“Kids! What’s the matter with kids today!” and heard DS from the other room sing,
“Kids! Who can understand anything I say!”
Anyone else getting sad as their kid takes schools off the list? But wait, remember how great that dorm was/how close to home you’d be/how cool that program sounded? I can’t seem to let go of any option!
But the head of the Honors Program spent a half hour talking to us without an appointment! And full tuition scholarship! And in a big city in a blue state like you want! Whaddaya mean, the campus doesn’t have enough green space? [a.k.a please share what’s REALLY going on in your head???]
@Booajo I am right there with you. I have such a hard time whenever my D would say “we can scratch that school orr the list” and I am like why, it had such a great blah blah blah or didn’t you say you loved xyz about it? She just looks at me like is this your college experience or mine…and then I back off. I know its her time (as it was my S14 before her) but I just do not want her to be hasty in her decisions. I really know she will be ok but as a parent you always want to try to help them make the best decisions they can. What I have realized is that by my S14 making his missteps, he has learned so many things that I feel that he had to go down that path to becoming the adult he meant to be. So when I forget that it is not my college experience, my kids quickly remind me and I realign myself back to the interested spectators chair. They know me well, laugh, remind me that I am overstepping and they do not take it offensively anymore. LOL. My hubby swears I will be lost without the college process once D is contently taken her place as a freshman in the class of 2020. I probably will initially, but then I will adjust…what choice do I have?
And I might be too old-fashioned, or too Mediterranean, or whatever, but there’s a lot to be said about making a situation or environment work when it doesn’t have everything you want, or think you want. I didn’t have 9 choices, I had 2, and when I went away to the 4-year school it was without knowing anyone there. Anyway, this is a good age to learn how to make the most of one’s imperfect environment, and manage change, because it’ll certainly come up in work situations over the course of their careers.
@Booajo - what frustrates me is that S16 is running out of time to be able to get to all his apps! He was deferred from his ED school and now has 10 schools he wants to apply to RD! That’s a ton of essays to write, and they need to be of high quality - so I’m pretty sure some will fall off his list. Trying to help him prioritize the order in which to complete them!
I think the number of toothpaste choices is daunting. How can one possibly pick? Now I’m trying to help my D with college selection? Which seems especially ridiculous considering we have not actually been to ANY of the colleges on her final list. I vacillate between “it’s inevitable we will screw this up” to “there are no bad choices, just bad attitudes.”
On the bright side, she finished her last project of the semester by the midnight deadline last night. Winter break has officially started!
D has a school that may come off her list. I keep reminding her that it’s in such a great location and because of that she would have so many amazing opportunities for internships related to her field of study. She says “meh, I don’t know.” Must remember, it’s her college experience, not mine. It is difficult. I pity S19 who is gonna be the sole winner of my laser sharp mom focus next year, lol.
One “side effect” of the Common App is that it’s easy to tack on schools that weren’t super high on the student’s interest list in the first place, but to keep options open / Mom’s or Dad’s school / convenient driving distance from home / known automatic merit aid / proximity to extended family / counselor said to just try it and see / anything else that might mean more to the invested adults than to the student at a gut level.
So then there’s a pruning process where some of those naturally fall off. We’re trying not to interfere too closely with that, but gosh it’s hard … there’s a whole long thread here on CC about “stupidest reasons for not considering a college.” I’ve contributed a few posts there. The “stupid” reason is a front for something, perhaps something we don’t want to hear or even that they’re not consciously aware of, and that can be a challenge to draw out.
That said, see my prior post - sometimes, grasshopper, you can’t have everything you want, and that’s just life! Other times you can grow to love things you didn’t know you would like.
I think even the best researched and thought out college selections will end up having some unknown thorns and that is good because it teaches them to adjust and be resilient. Like @ohiovalley16 quite so aptly put it “…this is a good age to learn how to make the most of one’s imperfect environment, and manage change, because it’ll certainly come up in work situations over the course of their careers”.
@Booajo,- absolutely, I am having a hard time letting go! I After all it took several years of research to come up with that ideal list! Not going to lie I am a bit crushed that she is not going to choose my alma mater (especially because it offered her the most $$$).
Overall I do not envy D16’s having to make a decision. I know that the list has to shrink sooner or later. IMO her choice is complicated by choosing between a straight 4 year school and then applying to grad school or choosing a program that is a guaranteed direct entry to grad school program. It seems like the direct entry programs are getting the axe quicker. I keep asking “Are you sure that you want to go through the hassle of apply to grad school when you are guaranteed entry at the schools you just cut from the list?”. None of the schools that she has been accepted to have made the choice any easier as they have all ended up with the cost to attend being within the same ballpark. So it seems like the her reasons for cutting a school are random, ie. They don’t offer suite style dorms for freshman. Never mind that at the schools that do have suite style dorms for freshman there are like 2 floors and the likelihood of getting a suite is about .1% lol. Or they don’t have a club team for Women’s lacrosse. Sometimes she will get in her head that she has crossed a school off the list and several days later is seems to be back on the list. My husband says in the end we will just get a dart board and blindly throw a dart and where it lands is where she goes. D16 has already planned to poll family and friends and has created a bracket spreadsheet like it is the playoffs!
I know in my heart which school she is going to choose and I think to myself, why do you always choose the hardest road to hoe?
@labegg I feel the same way and when all the decisions are in and its time to make a choice, I too think my D will choose the “hardest road to hoe”. Its sitting back and biting my tongue that is and will continue to be so hard.
OK - just managed to log in with time to read, which I’ll do in just a few minutes. But first - blanket congratulations, atta-kids, and condolences (with the appropriate sweet salve) to all. It’s been a crazy week.
I’m envious of those of you with kids who had an ED favorite, applied there, and got in. The feeling of being DONE must be amazing. S currently has two accepts out of 6, but #3 - the last EA - will come next week, and is all but assured. But - it also is very stingy with money, and was truly the bottom of his list - the safest of his safeties. But then the one he thought might give him lots of merit gave very little, the one he thought would give him little merit (and was lower on his preference list) - full ride. That’s confusing enough, and he has 3 more to go, two of which he still has to complete. (And two of which give essentially no merit aid, IIRC.)
So of the 5 realistically remaining, the one we were sorta leaning toward is now likely #5 due to low merit. High merit probably climbed from 5 to 2 or 3 - but really, it’s all up in the air still. @lvmjac1 - the way you phrased it, “the hardest road to hoe” - expresses it quite well. And we still have months to go before any road will be chosen here.
Ugh. Just so much to sort through. I’m going to go read through all of your kids’ news now - enough slogging through my own kid’s stuff!
I think part of this is her list grew out of a lot of research I did. But mostly I think I don’t want to let go! She has a hard enough time making choices, it probably doesn’t help to have her parents in the background saying “but…but…”
Biggest fear here is that she will get into her lottery school and we’ll have to figure out if we can swing it. I mean, we CAN, but would mean major financial sacrifices that I’m pretty sure we don’t want to make. Hopefully she will never see this post–but I’m almost hoping she gets rejected.
