Why do people do that @bookmom7 ? Are they lacking social skills that badly that they can’t realize what a difficult decision this is for these kids?
I know @carolinamom2boys - nothing like 3 40+ year old men vs. an 18 year old.
It (and this site) has made me more sensitive in how I talk with other teens about their college plans.
@bookmom7 Your S probably had more of a preview of the everyday working world than he did the University itself. D16 has been in a year long career exploration program in the various health care career fields, and though she loves a lot of it and finds it an invaluable experience, more than once she has reached the conclusion that everyone hates their job. We had to explain to her the differences between people really being unhappy in their jobs, self-deprecating jokes and the simple frustration venting people do in most work places at one time or another (and that she does quite well after a rough day at school too, lol). At first I was a little shocked and annoyed that the professionals she was shadowing were allowing her to see that, but then I realized she was getting a real taste of what life was like in what I think she envisioned as ‘ivy covered’ sorts of professions. She sees now that every day is not all peaches and cream, that even people in really great jobs grouse and complain sometimes. To some extent that has been very good for her to see the pros and cons of the workplace environment, she is getting a little more realistic in her expectations and ambitions in that way.
I strongly agree that in your son’s case the professors were crass and insensitive to his plans and intents and were simply unloading their own insecurities and grievances on him in a very unfair and childish way. A little realism is fine, but grown men acting like whiny babies in front of someone they should know is looking up to them is unacceptable.
@4kids2graduate
Klezmer band: think Gypsy music, but in a Jewish Eastern Euopean tradition. Usually: violin, accordian, clarinet & brasses, etc. Pure joy!
This site has made me understand that everyone (especially middle aged men who either think they did it “the” right way or who wish they did it a different way) approach college decision making with their own biases. Everyone.
@bookmom7 I hope your S can feel confident again about his choice- it sounds like a good plan and one that will make him happy
@4kids2graduate I know S’s group has a clarinet player, a sax player, a percussionist, a trombone, a violinist and another kid who can play pretty much anything but probably is playing bass. I’ve also been informed that their genre is “punk klezmer”. God only knows what that means. Given that the kids in the group also include didgeridoo and bagpipes among their bag of tricks, I’m a little afraid to find out!
Thank you @readingclaygirl & yes, I think for now we are back on track.
We’re another family where the student’s “reach” was a financial one, rather than applying to any super selective schools. We have heard puzzled questions about why, but D is comfortable with the decision and we parents are happy she is concerned with saving us money. We haven’t heard yet from 4 schools (out of 10), and I am definitely more stressed about that than D is. H is so laid back you’d think he didn’t even care. He does, of course, but compared to his own college experience, D has so many more options that he think she’ll be fine no matter what.
We did have a meltdown yesterday, but it was about dance, and a new dancer’s mom getting involved and kind of getting her way. My SIL runs the dance team so D felt bad for her getting stepped on, and burst into tears over one too many changes to the routine. Then this morning the pastor canceled the dance-and the other 2 girls, also both seniors, had meltdowns of their own. So right now D is binge-watching “Friends” again and soon we’re going dress shopping for a formal dinner next weekend, also for her church.
@Ballerina016, thanks for sharing, interesting, indeed!
@lvmjac1, that was quite the marathon interview. I bet you all felt entirely drained at the end. Glad there was no problem with the mid year reports. I do grow weary f being at the mercy of the school’s administrative staff to get these things in. There is so much inefficiency, but I bite my tongue, because I need to stay on their good sides.
Time for ice cream all around. DS16 is working on scholarship essays for our financial “reach” school. It truly will be a total surprise if he gets asked to interview. These topics are so hard. No meltdowns yet, but I’m sure they’re brewing.
@GoodGrief16 I found a typos in my post. The title should be translated as “War and Word” nor the “War and Peace”
@petrichor11 My son would love to play in a band like that - he plays several instruments, including accordion! So, if they end up at the same school (they have one in common so far) perhaps their paths would cross musically!
It would be cool if any of the S’s and D’s from this thread end up meeting.
@Mysonsdad Thanks for the update regarding FAFSA…just another thing to continue to stress about.
@CAMidwestMom I hope your S feels better too.
Thanks @readingclaygirl for sharing a students perspective, I hope you know how great you are and I truly feel that there are so many wonderful things ahead of you. You are a very smart and mature young woman…trust in your instincts and I feel you will be great!
@bookmom7 I am truly sorry to hear that these educated men gave your S the feeling that he was doing himself a disservice with his choice of college. Unfortunately, being academically education does not educate you in tact. This may be their opinion but there are many roads that lead to success and each student has to find the path that works for them. Some think they need prestige but many of the professors that teach at these prestigious universities have state school beginnings. Its not where you go to school that is most important but what is most important is what you do at that school that will help determine your future path.
@sseamom Your D sounds very mature and seems to know what she wants and that is wonderful! My D has allowed other peoples opinions to color her feelings on school choices to the point that she is not sure what she truly feels anymore (either initially or now on the waiting end)…hence the wide net of 15 schools she applied to. Our only advice to her was do not let the would have’s, should have’s or could have’s haunt you in the end. I am sorry that you D’s dance team is having issues and that it was cancelled hopefully the formal will give her something positive to look forward to!
@GoodGrief16 Yes, such a long long time and yes my D felt extremely drained afterwards. I was just plain tired but that seems to be my perpetual state of being or new normal these days. D’s GC is phenomenal so I kind of thought that he would bring some stability to the mid year report deadline debacle.
@carolinamom2boys All our fingers and toes are crossed so that your S gets an interview and the scholarship!
Thank you so much @lvmjac1 That means so much to me.
Given the late, but inevitable arrival of winter here, with a cold front forecast for the next few days dropping us about 15-20 degrees colder than today, I plugged into the weather app on my phone the various cities where DD’s schools are located. It is a bit of a fun thing to do given the different geographic climates she has on her list, from colder to snowier and colder, one very much the same and two warmer climes. Kind of a light hearted thing to reference during the stress of this process, but I keep checking the temperature in Orlando a little toooo often, always followed by opening up my travel app and thinking we might need to check out that school up close again (-;
@4kids2graduate I used to buy Klezmer music cd. I enjoyed Klezmer a lot and I still have 2 dozens of cds. Funny thing is that the most of my Jewish colleagues did not like Klezmer.
@bookmom7 When I went to the orientation for PhD program, I found that the most of the incoming students were not from tippy top lottery schools. Many of them were from state flagship, lac and local less known schools. As long as your son keep high GPA and good GRE scores, nothing will bother to get into good doctorate school.
@booajo - I’ll join you on the FAFSA bench. Unbelievable numbers.
Kudos to all for scholarship news, good interviews, and acceptances.
Ice cream or some other sweet treat for those dealing with interview mishaps, meltdowns, and the waiting game. I’ve got a pint of Ben & Jerry’s in front of me after seeing that FAFSA number. As much I have read that “they expect you pay for it with a combination of savings, current income and loans,” it still seems like a REALLY BIG NUMBER.