@RightCoaster Sorry for any confusion. I don’t have a D17, but a D16. She is definitely going to UK. It’s done.
Due to the atmosphere at her HS (small. private. affluent. she’s there on scholarship), there is pressure re: where to apply and what constitutes a “good” school. She really wanted to go to a private selective school, and those were choices number 1 and 2, and then another at maybe 3 or 4. UK was 3 or 4 also, the safety. She applied to 7 schools in total, EA or rolling. Accepted 7/7.
We did not take a hard line with her re: the budget, although we were open with her that we had concerns about affordability and might have to say no.
When we were running numbers winter/spring of her junior year, we were using estimates & basing it mostly on 2014, which was not a great year for us. As 2015 progressed, H’s compensation package was restructured and it was looking like 2015 > 2014. It made a difference in the NPCs, which are largely income-driven. Then, at the end of 2015, as decisions were coming in, two projects landed in my lap. If the projects stuck around, 2016 > 2015. AND, the following year, we’d go from 2 in college to 1.
The NPCs were not kind. On top of all of that, we were incurring some substantial out of network/out of pocket medical expenses with no end in sight. In the end, we did not have the appetite for financial risk and stretching for and UG degree for our snowflake.
Everyone’s situation is different. We did drink the Kool-Aid for a few days when those acceptances first came in, and your mind turns to selling a kidney. It’s worth it, right? We snapped out of it fairly quickly and ripped that band-aid off. We told her what we could afford and what we thought was the smart choice. She was not happy.
The CC mantra is do not let your kid apply to a school you cannot afford. I agree with that, for the most part. Our finances were a changing landscape. I did make the initial mistake of only looking at the net cost of attendance for D’s first year, which made some schools look like they were within reach. But when I did a four year calculation with % increases AND took older D out of college, OUCH.
Sorry so long! It seems like a good cautionary tale to share. She got it into her head that where she goes to college should be HER choice, and many of the affordable choices embarrassed her. It’s The Bubble at her HS, it’s not us.
On the other hand, she knows she got those acceptances and the only thing that is keeping her from going is lack of money, not that she isn’t smart enough to play with those other snowflakes.
There’s always grad school!
The other HUGE bonus to applying EA and rolling is we had decisions by Xmas, including decisions on some great scholarships. She’s had time to adjust, and she’s good to go, now. But there were some dark days there in January and February!
Can you make your kid apply to some schools she isn’t in love with? Yes, we did. Can your kid come around to being happy about a school she isn’t in love with? Yes, definitely.
First world problems!
Hang in there everyone!
