Parents of the HS Class of 2017 (Part 1)

May be wishful thinking but seems to me you are more likely to be done earlier than if you do not set an aggressive date now.

@carachel2 I think the 30 day countdown is beyond the pale for any kid. Do you think it would make sense for a kid going to school 2000 miles away from home?

I had lunch with a friend last week whose oldest kid is heading to college next week. He will be rooming with a friend from a nearby town where my friend lived until about 7-8 years ago. Families are still friends. Moms have been spending a lot of time planning the room out. Getting everything perfect. But its two guys. So you know the room will only be perfect the day the moms set everything up. A lot of wasted time. But I don’t think its about planning the room. I think its about the moms going through their own process of getting ready for their sons to leave home. BTW, they are going about 3-4 hours away.

@saillakeerie …IDK if it would make “sense” but I would probably not roll my eyes as much lol!

Deadline: All done by Nov. 1. As many EA as possible. No ED.

I want her to be able to go on thanksgiving break without that hanging over her. I’m working hard break it all down for her so she can get it all done. I’m also teaching her some good prioritizing skills-half of our college chat is talking about how long does she think it will take to complete things. She’s been surprised already that stuff is taking longer than expected.

She’s already somewhat competent at prioritizing given her crazy schedule last year, but I’m trying to reinforce the idea that she doesn’t cram it all in at the last minute and make silly mistakes. So far it’s working, for the most part. She actually texted me when we were out to dinner on sunday making sure we were still doing the college chat that night :).

My senior project is called “Empty Nest” (you have to present your senior project to graduate in studio art). The girls are both the subject of it. I’m trying to not get maudlin with it, and to a certain extent having to be critical of my own work and produce something good gives me the emotional space I need to process the idea that they’re growing up and I’m obsoleting myself.

I think people process in different ways. I’m pretty tolerant of all the different ways unless I see it putting undue stress or misery on the kid. Then I’m tempted to say to the parent “it’s not all about you”. Usually I don’t because those parents are usually drama queens anyway, and their kid is used to dealing with their mom’s histrionics with aplomb.

D is applying EA to most of her schools.

I would love for D to be finished with everything by Nov 1. She has 2 schools with Jan 1 regular decisions (and only ED) but the rest are Nov 1 for EA or scholarships. I told her yesterday Oct 15 is my deadline for the Nov 1 schools

@RightCoaster wrote:

I think Spreadsheet of Desperation is fair. If she had not asked for help when she did I was going to create the The SOAP on my own, The Spreadsheet for Apathetic Procrastination.

Exactly @MotherOfDragons – it sounds like some parents like @carachel2 is encountering, are more focused on their own feelings. I hope that their kids are not their facebook friends. My kids would be mortified if I posted a long and drawn out 30 day tribute to their departure…LOL!

@CaucAsianDad I just spit out my tea laughing.

@STEM2017 I am hoping to be done in 3 weeks:) D17 is 100% UA, so we already have a little Bama gift ready for the day she gets her admit! We are realistic that she may change her mind when her others come in, but she swears it is Roll Tide! She applied EA everywhere else.

Son17 was supposed to be done with all apps by Nov 1. Just get them done and deal with it. However, a new wrench into plans. I don’t like it. One school where son17 might be able to play varsity lax only offers ED/RD. No EA. I was hoping son would apply to his top school choice ED, and the rest EA. That way if he doesn’t get into top school choice he would receive other offers quickly and we’d just move on. Having a RD decision looming over winter time is not ideal, but I don’t think son17 will want to pass up the opportunity to play lax in college at a school he likes. So, now maybe he has to apply to his top choice EA and see what happens. I think if he applied ED to the top choice he’d get in. He might still get in EA there. But if he gets rejected there, he should be able to go to 2nd choice and play lax. If his top choice offered him a definite opportunity to play lax in college he’d choose that instantly. But, no luck yet on that front. Coach at top school is kind of a grump, coach at 2nd school really likes my and is a good guy.
Son17 came up with some additional essay ideas. Not bad. Hope he starts writing it this week.

With any luck my son ends up going to school 15 minutes from our house. I could see him for lunch, that would be nice. It would make things so much easier in general.
Worse case scenario, he goes to UVM and I have to drive up and go snowboarding with him. Not so terrible either.

To all you moms facing kids leaving home for the first time, I just want to encourage you that your role as parent is far from over. It is just a different relationship, but definitely has the opportunity to be a close and beautiful in its own way. They may not be living in your home, but they are only a phone call or text away. They’ll be calling about cooking questions, car maintenance, household repairs, etc. They call just bc they want to connect.

Fwiw, your relationship from here on out is the relationship you make it. It is learning to balance their adulthood with their adulthood choices and knowing when to step back and let them step in it and when to step in and be their supporting parent. That can be hard. The other thing is to not take their choices personally. They are adults making their own decisions. You aren’t making them for them, so when their decisions are not the ones you would make, step back and realize that you aren’t the one who made them. They are. The consequences of those decisions are theirs and you don’t have to bail them out and make things better according to your view. They are adults. (Remind yourself that they are adults, they are adults, they are adults… :slight_smile: )

Regarding the moving away, I’m going 45 minutes away and my mom is still quite emotional about it. I don’t think the amount of distance makes a difference, it probably has more to do with the fact your child will no longer be under your roof.

@acdchai Your high school may be the exception then. Many prep schools or traditional feeder high schools, especially in the NE, may be exceptions as well.

This NY Times article I linked here before (and again below) does seem to support the notion though that most students are applying to a high # of colleges… it even cites the example of a student applying to 86 colleges. It states that 17% now apply to 11-20. 30% apply to 7+. But the article contends that the trend is way up overall versus how it was before 1990 or even how it was just before the Common Application became so widespread.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/11/16/nyregion/applications-by-the-dozen-as-anxious-students-hedge-college-bets.html?_r=0

I know that my daughter plans to apply to at least 13 this year. Her sister had applied to 17 in 2013-14.

It is now way too common for a top-50 national university to receive 25K+ applications. Many receive more. UCLA received more that 3 times that… 80K+. If you know that you are going to get in to your state college, and that is where you wish to attend… great. You are then set. Or if you attend an elite prep school or some form of feeder school with an established history of succeeding at placing your graduating students with the Ivies or other elite colleges, that is great as well. You may then be able to apply to only 3-4.

But… if you attend a large public high school, especially in the south, midwest or west, where acceptances to elite colleges are rather rare, it does not seem to be any form of guarantee that 98th or even 99th percentile over-achieving seniors are able to move on with any form of predictability to those same elite programs.

You can have a 4.0 unweighted GPA, be ranked in the top 5% of your class, have a 34+ ACT and 2300+ SAT and have many 5s on AP tests and still get rejected by the majority of elite schools that you apply to. I know this, as I have seen it occur with regularity at our high school. If you have a strong hook, are an URM or come from the right high school, you may be able to apply to less colleges, and your acceptances may still be more predictable. But if that is not the case for you, you may want to gain an early admittance somewhere or also apply to 11+ colleges in hopes of having at least one elite college accept you.

Three years ago, I would not have argued this point either. But then I saw it happen to my own child. Being in that top 25th percentile of the applicant did not spare her from 12 rejections. 5 were to colleges that are high reaches for everyone. Any school accepting 10% or less is then rejecting 90% or more. So even being in that top 25th percentile means nothing. But 7 of her rejections though were to solid matches (some that even accepted 30% or so). They were still tough to gain admission to, yes… but they were still matches in terms of stats for their prior admissions.

The bottom line is that the vast majority of applicants likely need to proceed cautiously and assume nothing. CC has many threads detailing stellar students that were rejected too. Many rejected to all of the Reach and Match schools that they applied to in a given year.

Good luck to all applicants this year. There could be rough waters ahead :slight_smile:

Dd had planned on submitting her applications as soon as NMSF announcements came out. Now, however, she has a significant opportunity that she will be adding to her applications if it comes through. She won’t know for about 3-6 weeks, so she is holding off for that. After that, she will be mostly done unless she decides to add additional schools. Her list right now is fairly small.

ACT Writing Rescore
@nw2this, @jeepgirl - We also lost the $50 bet. I wonder if word got out about the rescore process, and now they are inundated with rescore requests, and are now less inclined to adjust scores.

@WWWard Harsh but honest opinion…one of the reasons they might be getting rejections is bc it is hard to complete that many supplements with 100% best effort. The supplements can make or break an application. If kids are just cutting and pasting different answers together (my S14 referred to it as cannibalizing his responses), adcoms aren’t going to be impressed.

Prioritizing applications and making sure they complete their favorites first is definitely a prudent decision. I saw what my ds was submitting near the end of his applications, and they were definitely not his best. He got to the point he really didn’t care. I think the fact that his accomplishments were incredibly abnormal is the only reason he received some of his acceptances.

Last night, after a really good discussion about this year’s goals and classes and college stuff, D admitted that she was not excited about any of her college options. That they all “seem just the same.”

I put my head down on the table and sighed so heavily dh came running out to see what was going on.

I handed D the legal pad list o’ notes and told her that she was welcome to find anything else that would fit her Arabic needs that we could afford. Harvard is the only school, honestly.

And then she pulled up the Chinese Flagship School list!

omg I just can’t deal with this

I don’t have a problem with her applying to Chinese schools, especially since she’ll be starting Chinese in two weeks at the U herre. I do have a problem with more research :((

Please tell me eveything you know about ASU. She may or may not make NMSF, but the merit calculator on the site indicated that it falls in our affordable range. Poli Sci classes are held on the “west” campus but Chinese is housed on the “Tempe” campus (We spent some quality time with the website :)) )

Question about sending scores before applying…

If you send SAT scores in May and then take subject tests in June, does CB force out the new June score to the schools who received the May reports? I have always wondered about this, but never planned to send scores early, so did not drill down.

Son’s list is not really final. Not a single essay written. He spent some time brainstorming yesterday, but then I noticed that he had returned to his coding research late night. I don’t think he will return to essays until he has gotten something delivered to his research prof, so I am going to have to give him another day or two.

I predict that every app will be filed at the absolute last minute. First deadline is Oct 15th, and I am sure that is when the app will be filed.

I agree 100% with @WWWard’s analysis in post 13656, but also agree with @Mom2aphysicsgeek’s comment about fatigue near end of app cycle. However, I don’t think we can attribute all the rejections to shoddy submissions. I do think yield management is at work and it is very difficult to make oneself stand out when one does not check an institutional need box. But, it is also true that it is very difficult/impossible to present oneself the same way in app #10 as in app #1. To that end, we need a strategy in this house!

This week’s priority is getting the Jr back to college. First time living off campus so I am trying to shop in my basement for things he can use in a kitchen. Since he does not cook much, it could be a short list!

@RightCoaster — do you know if the coaches already have their players committed for your son’s position? Or are the coaches’ top picks still holding out on committing as they are also hoping for a ‘better’ placement? The recruiting domino can shift quickly, but I only see it from the outside here, or the times I bother logging into Lax Power dot com.

Re ASU poli sci–she read that incorrectly at 11pm, poli sci is offered on the Tempe campus. Global Studies could be a workable major as well.