@Mom2aphysicsgeek I’m nosy, so now I’m off to figure out which threads ran you off. :))
@carachel2 – you got it… We flew down to Alabama at great time and $ expense just to “throw them all off” so we can “surprise” them when our special snowflake gets into all of the Ivys! At a recent graduation party for another friend two moms actually accused us of doing just this and they were serious – D and I were too stunned to say anything. After, in the car my D did ask “is there really something wrong with Alabama? I just don’t see the problem that they all have with it and I think it is perfect for me” – They are so convinced that they are superior, as are northeastern schools, to the south and the southern schools (Duke and UVA excluded because everyone knows they are outstanding schools- D’s friend’s words - not ours!).
BTW- my D is NO candidate for an Ivy, nor are her friends – although they are all outstanding, excellent students and generally good people(except for this crazy competitive and weird college choice time where they are killing my D with their snarky/mean comments) . D is applying to Harvard for her grandparents who are insisting that she is exactly what Harvard is looking for (hahahaha) – it is her one shoot for the stars school (and she knows we won’t be able/willing to pay for it but she would love to tell her friends).
@novicemom23kids, all I can say about the two moms you mention is: 8-}
Wow—that was sudden! My daughter just came up to me and said “I’m ready to figure out how many more essays I have to write.” (She’d been avoiding even thinking about it.)
So we sat down and: Seven (at least half of which are the up-to-250-words sort), plus one college still to post theirs (we anticipate one from them), plus, we’re guessing, another essay for Alabama’s University Fellows.
She seemed very relieved to have figured out that what remained is doable.
@itsgettingreal17 But then I might have to run away from this thread. 
@oldbrookie - I don’t get the Jim Morrison / Novimom reference (well, tbh, I know who Jim Morrison was, but don’t see the connection to @2muchquan; no idea who/what Novimom is).
Funny how you assumed that he/she (or the ever politically-but-not-grammatically correct they) was a he rather than a she (or a they)…I always thought that the ever-so-missed @2muchquan was of the female persuasion. Hopefully he/she will come back to clarify with a few well-needed JOTDs in tow.
Reactions - We get the opposite reaction, since our list is reach heavy and going oos is pretty rare around here. People (not family) look at D like she is out of her mind for applying to those schools.
@LoveTheBard Quan told us he was his dd’s father. Sure miss the humor! I could have used a few jokes today.
QOTD Dd just says she has no instate options and is applying to schools around the country. Very few ask for specific names. When she offers them, most people have never heard of them or just shrug. No one cares.
You all have it easy. Try explaining to an all California friends and family that your daughter’s top choice is Durham. And that Durham is not in North Carolina.
Questions about schools
Although statistically speaking most kids at our HS stay in state, plenty do not and the list is wide and varied albeit west coast. Within S’s friends it is a mix and no one seems surprised by a varied list of schools they’ve never heard of. That said, he has become a pro at saying he has no idea where he is applying and what are his top choices as he really doesn’t! Nothing but support though.
**Days off for visits. **It is an excused absence but work has to be covered and made up. No official rules on how many dates but more of a don’t abuse it mentality.
Dorms early when we started touring S though he really cared and came to realize he does not. He’d prefer a double or suite and a hall bath to meet folks. Would prefer not to be in a triple or a quad but it and the dorm itself is not a deal killer. Overall campus aesthetics are, but not the dorm room.
@stlarenas I did something today with S that helped! I made him a cheat sheet with all his schools and he loved it! It’s been overwhelming as they haven’t been visited, are far away and it’s hard to picture location which is a big deal to him. Since we’ve weeded already by program and other qualifiers we are treating all as academic equals (which is subjective of course) and are now focused on elusive “fit”. I listed by state each school and how far by car or train/bus to a major city as S defines it, as well as the population of the town the college itself was in.
I also listed the schools as follows. By size category (over 17k, 5-16k, under 5k) , by safety/match and then by $$. Money was $= affordable with expected merit and the one in state option. $$= affordable with expected merit but a bit of a stretch yet definitely doable. $$$=more of a stretch with expected merit. Could be doable if it were the right/dream school but would have to really evaluate if worth it compared to other options.
I told him at a minimum he had to pick and apply to
2 admission safeties
3 admission matches
2 $ schools (financial safeties)
Overlap is ok so it could be only 5 (my min) but as many as he wanted was ok too. He needed that direction/rules lol and loved loved the sheet.
He circled 2 schools to officially move into the will apply category and send scores. The 2 are admission safeties, 1 of which is a financial safety. And he is far less overwhelmed! I like all the schools on he list so am really ok with whatever he picks as long as it’s at least 5. Kinda bummed there isn’t a lovely reach dream school that could be affordable but there are worse problems to have!
2nd draft of CA essay done today too!
Ok, I must admit that all this talk continues to make me anxious. S just returned from Summer Job away for 8 weeks. He did not do any work on his essays. He currently plans on applying to 13-14 schools. 3 are UC’s and all use same app…The rest have multiple essays. Not sure how he will get it all done. Most of the schools on his list are real reaches. all but three accept less than 30%, and some are ridiculous. He will apply ED to one long shot IVY, and ED2 to another 11% chance school. After that, many schools that could go either way. Our Top two UC’s are tough to judge. Should get into one, but who knows. These next 70-100 days are going to be brutal. Not sure how it will get done…Two app’s are in tho. One, a financial safety that he thinks he will never go to, and one Auto admit OOS flagship that has a top 10 business school…I guess that might be his realistic backup…I am frustrated, as this is my 3rd kid. We know the drill. My first two had all apps done by October 1st. We have planned, visited, and strategized for this one. Yet he will go down to the deadline. I hate this…Just needed to vent…
QOTD: Did anyone’s student do the research to put together their list of schools to apply? How did you come up with the final/near final list? It seems like my method is not so uncommon.
D told me her preferences and I did all the preliminary research for her. We later decided on which schools to eliminate together and did it based on strength of their Arabic program, study abroad, LLC availability. D then researched the schools on the list to decide her favorites and get additional information as needed.
@LoveTheBard, Novimom started this thread way back in 2013. She hasn’t been active for a very long time.
@itsgettingreal17 My daughter told me she wanted to major in engineering and get a PhD so I pulled together a list of like 6 or 7 schools as a starting point. We then added to it based on schools that came to visit her school and other ones she got mail from or the counselor’s recommended etc. On my original list I believe 5 stayed.
We don’t worry about what people think of which schools. We dropped our last ivy just this week. My daughter was looking at one of there prompts and told us she could not actually answer the question. It was easier to answer for 5 other schools on her list. So, she said they are off. Interesting way to look at it but I could find no fault. My daughter loved Bama and they really treated us well on our tour etc but they don’t have anything in BME which turned out to be a deal breaker. Too bad because the engineering facilities were really nice. The bottom line is each kid has to pick somewhere that they feel they fit in and see themselves being for 4 years. I told my daughter you don’t pick a school because that is where your friends are going, we went etc. You have to pick what is right for you. Hopefully, she continues to remember that thought.
@itsgettingreal17 My son didn’t do the initial research, I did. He told me he wanted engineering and a sailing team, which is kind of an annoying criteria because the super match type search engines aren’t really accurate for sailing. I finally found a good resource from USA sailing this summer which has allowed me to confirm which schools have active as opposed to defunct sailing teams. So I did the research to come up with about 30 schools with engineering, sailing and the possibility (or certainty) of merit aid.
He is supposed to narrow it down from there, which is why there are still too many schools on the list, but it is starting to come into shape. We are way behind some of you guys though.
When people ask me where he is applying I am usually vague and say the list is not set yet, and tell them it is probably going to come down to cost in the end. This almost always deflects the conversation into how expensive college is, and away from specifics. I don’t have any friends or family who don’t have to worry about the cost! I don’t want to discuss specifics because his list is going to be eclectic, and really the only thing that matters is where he ends up.
@BigPapiofthree Your post makes** me **feel anxious. Does he not have a single school that he can see himself attending that is pretty much a guaranteed acceptance. I don’t remember your child’s stats, and maybe 30% is pretty safe, but it would put me on edge. I would tell him he has to find a school he likes that is not as competitive.
@itsgettingreal17 We did the initial research together. After that, I started researching schools ad nauseam trying to find more that she could look into on her own. She has written so may depts asking questions, though, that she has lost all nervousness over this process. She is now approaching everything like she is the buyer searching for the correct purchase vs. their deciding if they want her. (The change in tone in her emails is obvious to me.). I am glad to see the transition to self-confidence and awareness of what she wants.
** QOTD - Research for the list **
I initially got the ball rolling when we had the opportunity to visit the northeast for a family reunion in the summer before junior year. We were able to incorporate some college visits. I bought a Princeton Guide and, in combination with some internet research, D17 decided which ones to visit
College advising kicked in at her school the beginning of junior year. The students and parents each fill out extensive surveys and the GC generates a list of schools for the students to research. The first list was around 25-30 schools. The student then had to evaluate the list and provide specific reasons why the schools remained or were eliminated. The student could also add schools as their research proceeded. D17 was able to get to a long short list of about 15 fairly easily and then began more intensive web-based research about her finalists - this included course offerings and faculty in possible majors, array of student organizations, etc., and sometimes an email to a professor or admissions officer about a specific question.
Her school recommends 6-8 applications as a reasonable number for most students. D17 currently has 8, but might add a 9th. It also uses Naviance and provides school-specific data about merit awards and associated GPA/test scores that go back several years. They seem to do a good job of helping students identify schools that are realistic for their stats and budget. Seniors were asked to submit their lists during the first week of school (!)
Qotd:
Son17 did most of the research on schools based on the supermatch feature on Naviance. It wasn’t a big list to begin with and never expanded. He attended as some camps and sports clinics at c.f. different colleges so that was helpful to see new places and check out bigger and smaller schools. We were sort of fortunate that his scores were good, not great , so that eliminated a lot of tip top competitive schools. He’s competitive at all of the schools he is thinking of applying to, no real reaches on list.
@mamaedefamilia Is that list expected to be their final list? Bc if so, wow, that is a lot of pressure early on. My dd’s list is mostly final, but she may add a couple of more competitive scholarship schools to her list. I am sure she is not the only student who might have something occurring early in their sr yr that could impact their competitiveness for certain awards???
@Mom2aphysicsgeek I think I know the thread you are talking about, I stayed away from that one, too much drama with that group.
I am doing the best to keep from blasting someone on another thread that implied my D must be a low achiever because I did not make the same choices she made. The truth is my D made the choices, she makes better choices than a lot of the parents on CC.
@itsgettingreal17 My D and I discussed her career goals and I put together a list of schools (including several reaches) but also discussed the budget. She researched the financial matches (her choice to not borrow and stick to our budget) and came up with two schools, both matches. I added a safety which she has agreed to in principal but hopes will not be her only option. The safety was her first choice two years ago but after her research it dropped significantly.
My D is having some second thoughts after hearing about so many of her friends applying out of state but her practical side knows she is making the best decision for her future --best chance a grad school with no debt.