I understand that sentiment, @apraxiamom @SnowflakeDogMom. We did that with D15. S18 has a lot of independent organizational skills. For example, we don’t have to look at his grades and I don’t think he has come to us with a homework question since middle school. But email is not his thing, and the financial implications of a missed email are just too great when you are merit hunting. The scholarship weekend we just returned from is a good case in point. The invitation email required an immediate response due to limited capacity at the weekend event. It was “first come, first served.” A number of kids missed the email and missed the opportunity to sign up and attend the event. The email went to S18’s spam folder, and especially with him being in school then going straight to play rehearsal, he would never have seen it on his own until it was too late.
Woo hoo, @labegg and D!! throws confetti
As for us, now that S is confirmed NMF, there really would have to be a giant meteor strike for him not to attend UNM.
I know NMSC sends out lists periodically, and I think the first one goes out March 1, but even so, we sent a copy of S’s confirmation letter listing UNM to the scholarship coordinator. Can’t hurt, right?
We’re waiting for one final scholarship notification, March 2, from Elks MVS. After that, we’re done done.
There’s been a lot of good news on this thread in the last few days, so Go, 18ers!
Congratulations @labegg !
@vistajay At least that many…I have her gmail on my phone as any good “personal assistant” would do.
I setup their (S15 and S18) gmail accounts years ago to make sure they had easy to communicate and professional addresses they could use for anything… but I don’t have any idea what their passwords are now and wouldn’t want them. Haven’t checked them. S15 for example had a long distance relationship while in HS. Didn’t snoop, but I’m not naive. Didn’t monitor the college communications… though I have said things like “you need to do X”, I’ve not made them do anything… well except the FAFSA 
The biggest reason is trust. Even though I made it clear that network traffic was possible to be monitored and to assume that the world could know about what they read, watch, send, tweet, etc… it was essentially just common sense. Don’t put anything out there you wouldn’t want your parents to see. I’ve been told that I would feel differently if I had daughters… but I feel like my job is to get them into adulthood as self sustaining and responsible humans. Not sure that would be different based on gender.
Not exactly the original conversation. Sorry!
@vistajay DS set up a gmail account specifically for college admissions/scholarships like @ollie113 mentioned above. We both have it on our phones and it has come in handy to have both of us staying on top of things. Sometimes he’ll see an email before I do and let me know about it and sometimes I do. I know I find this process overwhelming at times so when he asks me to help him keep on top of it I’m not going to tell him to fend for himself. This is one thing we want to get right and like you said, the risks are too high.
@flsoccermom22 I’ve been known to sign my texts to DS as his “personal assistant” lol
I think it depends on the student. D18 is more reliable. I ask her if she checked her email which in the beginning she was not on it very well but now she knows to check it a few times a day. And if it’s important she will forward the email to me so I can read it as well. S20 is one to over look an email and just delete it without reading it. I won’t check his email but I will maybe ask to show me any email he gets from a college before deleting it. So he can grow and learn that it’s not skimming reading material.
Congrats @labegg ! A&M is such a great school.
@NamePoster I have a DS2008, DD 2017
We pretty much had the same attitude - I admit that when DS was younger, snooping was a bit more tempting as he was the generation that got “unlimited” texting right about middle school - most parents gave it as an incentive for grades - before that they had a certain number of texts per month, this was before smart phones.
OMGosh, this sounds ancient!
My DS had a Myspace, then Facebook etc while DD started with Facebook and quickly went off to Tumblr. They both use Instagram and Snapchat now. I’m friends with my kids but I do not have their login information - never ever did, even in the early days of social media, like you, I saw it as a trust thing and we too discussed common sense.
I have access to my DD email and I have checked it routinely (daily at times) since July. I have cut back checking it now that the rush of applications season is over. DD specifically asked me to check her application portals and asked that I notify her of acceptances/denial, she did not want to be blindsided, maybe she felt she would rather hear it from me?!
I still have access to DD2016’s email, but have not checked it since late in her senior year of HS, except one time when she was in Italy and couldn’t access something that she needed. I also have access to her college portal/email. I have checked the portal for grades (2x per semester) and for financial statements when I know bills are coming due, I have never looked at the email.
Both DDs has access to my email too. I know that they have looked at in it on rare occassions. It has nothing to do with trust or responsibility, it just makes sense, you never know when you might need access! God forbid one should die unexpectedly. I could access their locked phones, if I could ever remember their codes. Nothing irritates them more than when they have their hands full and want me to check their phone and I have to be reminded of the passcode, lol. I guess for my family, we figure we are all in this together and we function as a team.
@labegg Same situation here. My D18 didn’t have time to deal with a lot of the emails coming in and she would also ask me to check on results. Our passwords for all our emails and such are all written down in case we need them, she’s a good kid so I don’t see it as snooping. I tried more independence with her but I believe @vistajay said when thousands of dollars of merit money are involved, I have no problem checking her email. Now S23…we’ll see how it goes with him…I can’t make any promises. Now I do sometimes check the email, see something important and then sort of prod her to check the email so that she sees that important things come in that she needs to address. Just depends on the urgency as to whether I say “check your email” or “you need to deal with blank in your email”. I follow her Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat and she follows me as well.
I worry about this a bit too. Other than to sign up for accounts for various social media outlets and such they really don’t use email.
But it’s important now for communication with colleges and later with employers.
So they do need to check it often. And get used to utilizing it more.
For financial aid, orientation and housing information, communication from professors etc.
I will say that DS has gotten better about checking his email as the year has progressed. I think it’s a learning curve like anything else. Prior to this year there was never more than junk mail in his inbox so it wasn’t part of his routine.
I have access to both kids’ emails, facebook, instagram, etc accounts. They have to allow me as a “friend” on their accounts. Lots more discussion on content with S21 as he learns to navigate his online footprint, etc. Honestly, I don’t really get the completely hands off method when it comes to social media. It can be just as dangerous in ways as a car and we don’t just hand over the car keys and say “good luck with that”. But, to each his own I suppose.
They don’t have access to phones at school during the day, so D18 asked me to check e-mails in case of any time sensitive items. Other than that, she has done everything on her own. I didn’t have access to any portal information or her CA. We looked at her essays after her CC and friends looked at them as another set of eyes and as people who had a vested interest in whether or not they were up to par to send out. Ultimately she decided what she wanted in them, but we certainly gave our opinion. She sends all her own e-mails, makes all her own phone calls.
@amominaz I am not hands off but I don’t need their access codes to know what they are up too. We’ve spent hours and hours discussing online safety, ones footprint etc. I don’t feel like I need to check up on everything we have said to them, this is where the trust comes into play.
DD’s school had no issues with cell phones and the kids had them in all of their classes - they had “tech” breaks in each class where they could check their email etc. It sure was nice to not have to fight the cell phone banned battle that was DS’s high school days.
Neither DS18 or DS22 have any social media prescence. Don’t know if DS18 will get a Facebook or something to share with me once he’s in college. But really, texting likely works fine.
This by the way was their choice, they just have zero interest.
My D has also improved her email skills a lot this year, and checks regularly. I’ve also helped her go through and mark and delete spam, and unsubscribe from mailing lists to keep the volume manageable. I don’t have access to her email. We have a shared college todo list, and I’ve occasionally bugged her about undone items on there, but the ball is in her court to make it happen and to monitor the email for new tasks coming in.
Congrats on TAMU @labegg! Have you thought about whether you will let DD18 have a car at TAMU? We, like you, live in Ohio, and have a child in school in Texas (UTD), DD16, and her dad or I drive her car down with her with in August, and then fly home so that she has a car at school. Then in May when school ends, one of us flies to Texas and drives back home with her (at least we did her freshman year, we haven’t figured out this year, her sophomore year yet because she hasn’t locked in her summer internship yet).
Much like @vistajay @ollie113 and @flsoccermom22 , I do check emails for D18, but never did for D16, who was much more independent. With apps to 7 colleges & respective honors programs and 30+ other scholarships, D18 literally did not have time to keep track of all of the emails with all her ECs. We set up a gmail used only for college / honors / scholarship apps. Email goes to both of us and on several occasions timely response was essential and one or the other may have missed it. Have also had numerous very important emails go to the Spam folder. Once we know where she is headed, I’ll back off, but too many financial implications for an overlooked email right now.
Son got into Ross at the University of Michigan… so we will have another Wolverine in the house! Go Blue!