Here we sit in rainy California, spouse on a job interview! Price difference is SHOCKING to this rural Wisconsin family. What the heck, we wanted to check it out!
We’ve paid anywhere from $250 to $450. Cannot do rent the runway or borrow from friends. My daughter is tiny, less than a size 00 and only 5’2. Everything needs alterations.
We’re going to look at a prom dress today. It’s around $200. Grandma has offered to pitch in so that helps.
Most of our formal gowns have been thrift store finds but we haven had luck with that lately. We did pay about $120 for a dress two years ago and it was worn at least twice.
They have petite sizes at Rent the Runway and since they are designer dresses, are cut much smaller than you would think. No vanity sizing there! My daughter is under 5 feet tall. She just chooses the petite size and then wears heels.
The dress we rented this year was on the upper scale of things (that price we paid was with a 20% coupon). There are some dresses that can be rented for under $100.
It’s interesting how different Prom can be for kids, depending on where they live and what their school does, and what their parents’ rules are.
For me, I’m strict about a midnight curfew because of my own experiences. My D can have a sleepover at my house, or she can sleepover an approved parents house, if she wants to hang out with friends past midnight.
My negative experience is that for my own Prom I drove my car and when I was coming home from an after party at 2am, I was hit by a hit and run driver. The driver of a car that came along a while later said that they guy who hit me had blown past him and had been weaving all over the road, so I’m thinking he was drunk. My date and I were surprisingly fine thanks to our seat belts (I can’t emphasize that enough!), but the car was a spectacular wreck as I was hit hard from behind so the back end was crushed, and I did a couple of donuts on the interstate because a back wheel wasn’t free to move anymore, and I then took out the front end when I crashed into the guard rail (which saved me from going over a cliff). I was amazingly, stunningly lucky. After that my parents imposed an off the road by midnight rule, which I absolutely buy into.
At my D’s current school Prom isn’t a big deal and there aren’t any after parties that are any different than the “parties” going on every weekend. At her old school Prom was a huge deal and one of my friends hosts a midnight to 5am party, and whoever comes has to stay unless their parents pick them up, and then another parent hosts a 5am -7am breakfast party. After that the kids all go to the beach about 2 hours away. Now that I’m thinking of it, I wonder how they get to the beach? Studies show that driving sleep-deprived is at least as dangerous as driving drunk.
@Booajo good luck with spouse’s interview! I hope it’s a positive experience for you all.
Last year $100 (was custom made to fit her), this year $124, we had to pay to get it hemmed
The dress that my daughter is going to have made was quoted at $525. Her father’s limit was $325, and we told her that if she wanted the dress, then she would have the come up the balance by savings via her job. Anyway, to make the story short, at the time of her first meeting with the dressmaker, the cost went from $525 to just paying the cost of the material-$230. What a blessing! Now, D is responsible for saving for makeup, hair, shoes, etc.
My DD paid $245 with her own money from a bridal store.
I think everyone’s comfort level for spending on Prom is very independent, personal and vastly different based on family income & values. Some see it as frivolous spending and others not. I guess I fall into the “not frivolous” camp. But, I also wouldn’t spend money on a birthday party or graduation party that can cost as much or more than Prom. Lovely prom dresses can be had for under $150 and lovely prom dresses can cost upwards of $650; plus alterations. $300 - $400 is my comfort zone. I have spent the the entire spectrum; purchased from second hand shops and amazon to specialty dress boutiques.
What I can say, IMO, is that there is quite a difference in the quality of construction and the way a dress lays that is tied to price. Pageant seaming makes a big difference on a dress with a body hugging cut; the amount of chiffon and tulle used to create a diaphanous illusion is significan; horse hair webbing at the hem gives an illusion that can’t be replicated; when you are busty the quality of a zipper or seam or the placement and type of bodice boning and cups is vital.
Most people don’t know and even fewer care how much you spent on your dress. I say spend where your family is comfortable and as long as you (or your kiddo) feel beautiful that is all that matters!
Congratulations on all the decisions, more than a little jealous as we wait for some deferrals to RD today and financials. D18 is 18 today and we have another snow day to celebrate (by working on some more local scholarships).
I am certain that she will end up at the right place for her and do well wherever she goes.
As for Prom, after gracefully bowing out of promposal (promposer promptly got more flowers and poster board to successfully secure date #2) D18 has a dress and friend group to go with. Last year we bought a dress from the 1/2 price rack, beautiful, but alterations (3 hems at $30 each for layered hem) ate up the savings. This year we spent a little more but won’t need alterations. They do a school sponsored post prom, with inflatables, games and prizes. It’s been successful in increasing safety, and decreasing post prom accidents. My kids have a younger neighbor/family friend (30 something) who send them a text reminding them to be safe and offering rides or help should they find themselves in trouble and not want to call parents.
@melvin123 I think limits are good especially given your scary history. I’m sure your kids understand.
Enjoying our snow day (a delay would’ve been fine) as our spring beak is down to 2 days…keep the good news coming!
I guess I should be happy DD’s dress was only $109. Anything over $150 (including shoes and accessories) is coming out of DD’s wallet.
DD refused to go to prom so no costs there. Co-Worker just spent $100 on one of the “silly” tux’es for her son’s that seem to be all the rage for her Son’s Sr prom. The kids are renting a party bus, dinner before and corsages etc.
I too am from the San Francisco Bay area - I was born in San Mateo, moved to San Jose in 1972 when my parents bought their first home for $23K. DH and I moved to Los Angeles in 1987, then to Reno in 1993. I spent most of my adult life in Reno, NV and now the past 6 years in Central Texas, NW of Austin in the burbs.
My one and only sibling is in San Jose and I give him updates on homes for sale in my neighborhood on a weekly basis LOL I really really want him and my SIL to move here. They own a 1500sq ft Duplex in Campbell, decent neighborhood, nothing spectacular - current value $1M - bought from his MIL so grandfathered in on Prop Taxes - the only way they could afford to buy it.
The house around the corner from me is 20 years newer, 2200 sq ft, beautiful neighborhood with lots of trees - listed at $250K - My bro is in Tech but Austin has lots of Tech - My SIL is a high school teacher. My bro says “what will my wife do?” I say “lady of leisure as you can sell your duplex and buy a house here, CASH!”
He’s not sold but I’m still working on him.
My DD toured Univ of San Francisco, my biggest issue was lack of housing following Freshman year. So many of the kids end up on the peninsula and have to commute to school. She could commute to UT here if she wanted to be a commuter. I know she is looking at SFO for medical school along with Portland, OR.
One of DD’s best friends moved from CA when she was a Freshman, the parents biggest regret is after paying those high costs of living for so many years, when it came time for colleges in CA none of their kids were instate. They laughingly say they should have gotten a prorated discount based on years of residency.
People around here spend WAY too much on prom dresses. Both of D16’s dresses were under $200. D18 has always been more expensive and prom dresses were no different. Last year I think it was a little over $400, but she was able to wear it 2 more times for the Distinguished Young Women program so it ended up being worth the price. This year I told her she had to pay anything over $300 and the one she picked was just a little over. We have a fancy dress shop here in town that EVERYONE thinks they need to go to. They have some less expensive ones, but most are way over $300. We didn’t go there, we actually found her dress in Dallas when we were there for cheer. She was one and done which was kind of nice.
We have multiple places and programs where kids who want one can get a free, pre-worn prom dress. Its very cool.
My daughter paid around $100 two years ago and she won $80 and a go pro camera at the After Prom so we called it a win/win
I think the right price for a prom dress depends on your family’s financial situation and of course, being able to find a dress that you love…that might range from $150-$400. My D20 has a wealthy friend who got a $900 dress for her sweet 16 birthday party!! I can’t remember the brand name. Of course that same friend also got a $50,000 Volvo!! But they can afford it, so who am I to judge? Our school has an organization called “Ruby Slipper” which does fundraising and collects second-hand prom dresses which they loan to anyone, but it is intended for those students who couldn’t otherwise afford a dress. My daughter helped with the Ruby Slipper Tea and said there are actually some really pretty dresses.
Our prom is less than a month away. S18 still doesn’t think he wants to go. DH and I are encouraging him to ask a friend and just have fun. The “after parties” are the bigger deal here. Groups of students rent lake houses and a few parents loosely chaperone 
Party busses are also common. He has not been included in those groups so if he ends up going with friends, they will probably just have a low-key after-prom gathering at someone’s house. Our school-sponsored all-night bash is on graduation night.
We have been lucky and found dresses online for D18 for $200 or less She is also very petite and has trouble finding things that fit in stores without massive alterations. She wants to do the in store shopping experience for this last prom so we will see if we have any success.
Anyone dealing with non-school after party plans? S is planning prom with a friend group + his girlfriend (no one else has a GF/BF). Want a place to crash and asked to come to our house to spend the night. Plus girlfriend. Since they are still planning, I haven’t given an answer but I don’t want the girlfriend to spend the night. She is a Junior so hoping her parents will say no, but not sure that will happen.
@1399HdJ we hosted a coed sleep (with a few “couples”) after prom with about 12 kids for DD2016. It went well, was uneventful and they seemed to enjoy themselves. They were a frugal, responsible bunch. The stayed up until about 3am before they started to crash. I checked in on them randomly throughout the night and frankly they were sort of boring. DD2018 attended Prom last year with her senior BF, they did a beach house with his parents as chaperones and about 20 kids. It was…an experience. She and same boyfriend are part of a prom group this year with 20 kids and a beach house. I expect it will be similar to last year’s experience…maybe (hopefully) a bit less “eventful” given this bunch of kids.
Does everyone spend that much on prom dresses? I think one year my D re-wore a dress that she had used for another occasion and one year we bought something for maybe $100. We are a full pay tuition family and I don’t spend that much on dresses for myself, nevermind a 17 year old.
I do agree though that these dresses get good use again in college formal parties. Try to pick something that is not too “prom-y” so it can be used for other occasions. Even better if it can stretch to fit the freshman 15 