Parents of the HS Class of 2018 (Part 1)

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
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I don’t think I’d change anything at all, but that said, our way won’t be right for a lot of families.

S hates jumping thought hoops. Taking multiple tests, writing a lot of essays, doing a lot of apps - he wanted no part of it.

Once he understood how the college application “game” worked, his path was set. He buckled down on test prep with one goal only - to make the cut for NMSF. Once he had that in hand, he was done.

It didn’t matter to him that bumping his SAT from 1490 into the mid-1500s opened up more schools and more scholarships. It didn’t matter that not doing the essay on the SAT meant he couldn’t apply to any UCs. It also didn’t matter that no SAT IIs ruled out a lot of other schools. He was just. Plain. Done. He wanted off the merry go round so he could devote his time and mental energy to things that mattered to him.

He knew from our financial discussion the summer before junior year that he needed full tuition plus some where aid was concerned, so he didn’t want to tour a single school where that wasn’t a sure thing. Once he had a school he loved (UNM), he didn’t want to tour more schools, either. That’s why we never went to MSU, Pomona, Tulane, Bama, CSULB or even UCR.

He only ever applied to UNM and Texas Tech, both full ride and auto-admit safeties, and he only applied to TTU because I made him, for the sake of having a back up.

He’s perfectly happy with all of his choices and decisions. He also has great ownership of the process and the decisions. It’s his school that he picked, his first choice. He loves that. Captain of his own ship and all.

I occasionally feel / felt twinges of doubt and what-if, but that’s me, not him. How much aid would he have gotten at UCR if he’d just retaken the SAT to include the essay? On paper, UCR was NFW, so it’s unlikely that would have changed. What if he’d applied to Tulane? But he’d have had to retake the SAT and do essays and other stuff to be eligible for the scholarships he’d need.

To be clear, I am happy, nay, delighted, with what he’ll get at UNM, and so is he. I still sometimes wonder is all.

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My advise here for all of you…

It is all about the money… MONEY MONEY AND MORE MONEY… What looks to be a $25K option can easily become a $38K option or a $49K option which basically can translate to an $100K four year spread. Look for schools that offer merit based on the students numbers. Students will find their academic match based on their numbers which is homework that will need to be done but by the end of the day, it will come down to MONEY. For those lucky enough that can afford any school, money will not make a difference. But by the end of the process, think wisely where you spend it.

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@DiotimaDM
“He’s perfectly happy with all of his choices and decisions. He also has great ownership of the process and decision. It’s his school that he picked, his first choice. He loves that. Captain of his own ship and all.”
In the end, this is really all that matters. Great job Mom!
I love how you phrased “the application game” as it really is a game.

My DD refused to jump through hoops as well, this limited her options but in the end, she was not stressed once she received acceptance. The funding was guaranteed, the plan was set, she was good to go.

I remember once I asked her why no essays, no competitive applications and her answer was simple. She wanted a school that wanted her as she presented on paper, she wanted her high school resume/grades/LOR’s and test scores to be what mattered, not “one more essay”… as frustrating as it was, I totally got her point.

While many of her peers have been stressing over funding or acceptances, DD has been busily exploring the various classes available as well as she is now exploring graduate schools.

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Best advice I received and woukd like to pass on:

  1. Definitely schedule the one day a week to meet with your Senior. I’m a Type A and need to know what is happening and my daughter is Type O (Ostrich who sticks her head in the sand). So I felt better spending 30 minutes (no phones) going over where we were.

  2. Keep a spreadsheet with different tabs that include admissions requirements, logins, scholarship info (i looked this week and saw there was one scholarship she had forgotten to apply to and we have time), etc

  3. We kept a binder with sheet protectors divided into categories like general info (resume, test results, transcript), scholarship info, essays, information from the schools she was interested in, anything else that needs a place so it isn’t lost.

  4. Definitely echo having a rolling safety as an acceptance early…we had one and my daughter felt good about having a place she liked to land no matter what else happened…her best friend was stressed because only a reach came in early and was rejected…she spent many months sad as other people had at least one acceptance

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@flsoccermom22 Type “O” I’ve never heard that but I love love love it!

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Our thread has hit 1000 pages!

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  • A college trip early on to an area that has all different types of schools (large/small/public/private) in the same geographic area is good because is creates a level playing field
  • Don't apply to a school you don't have any interest in attending. It's not a match/safety if you hate it.
  • Only get involved in activities you really enjoy. That said, get involved in SOMETHING.
  • Figure out early on which test is a better fit for you ACT/SAT
  • Take lots of practice exams of the SAT/ACT. Half the battle is just being comfortable with the types of questions.
  • Keep in mind things you need in the city the college is located in. My daughter has Celiac disease. She liked Notre Dame and Baylor but they would basically require her to eat on campus all four years. Not a good option.
  • Keep in mind ease of travel home. How expensive is it to get home? How far is the airport? How much could weather be factor on getting TO the airport, getting home, etc.
  • Just because a school is a top school, it doesn't mean it's a good school FOR YOU. Know your personality and learn the personality of the school to see if it will be a good fit.
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Oh, also… check interview requirements EARLY ON in the Fall. We missed some interview opportunities because DD signed up too late and all the spots were filled. Even schools that say the interview is optional - I think it helps to have had one.

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Advice: Write the main college application essays the summer before senior year.

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Great advice

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Ithaca is now back in play. S appealed the financial aid package (yes, he did it himself) and they hoped their offer. It’s still more than us and his grandparents offered to pay, but it’s getting close. He hadn’t expressed why Ithaca is somewhere he really wants to go, so we asked him for a “manifesfo.” He wrote it yesterday, and it revealed that he had given it a lot more thought than we believed previously. It was very impressive. He hasn’t heard from my in-laws yet, but they’re out of the country. I’m taking him up for an admitted students day on Sunday the 15th. My wife and I think that maybe he should offer to take out a 2K subsidized loan each year to get the price down to what they agreed to pay (they realize it will go up a bit each year). We also think he should save up some money for the required semester in New York or LA. I didn’t go on the first visit to Ithaca, and my wife is interested to see if I like it more than she did (she didn’t care for it).

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Roller Coaster has pulled into the station!

Decision has been made, deposit paid and my daughter will be attending Elon University!

We are very excited for her and I am so happy to be back in the station…though only for 5 days as D20’s school is hosting their college information night on Tuesday for rising juniors. I could emcee the evening with what I now know but how can I not go now that is D20’s turn?

Loved all of the advice for the Class of 2019.

Basically we are in two camps …visit before you apply or after. My vote is before…not only is demonstrated interest more and more important but also as the acceptances roll in the time is short to revisit. Out of seven acceptances we did four as we did not have time for all . If she had not seen them all how would we have narrowed down without doing whirlwind tours?

Other points I echo are:
Financial talks early, get those standardized tests done early (our last one was August before senior year and that was great…knew where we had a shot and where not and one less pressure), focus on one test…we went back and forth…, resume etc on the common app over the summer but ok to finish the main essay late summer/early fall, secure recommendations before summer break at end of junior year, create a traditional resume over the summer to have on hand for last minute interviews (and as previously stated hunt those down early).

Also I saw incredible growth in my daughter and her writing as the year went on…I would not do all the supplementals early…the more they write these the better they get and it shows. In fact in reading all the advice I really reflected on how much my daughter really grew this year and since she will not be 18 until after graduation I wonder how much of that was due not just to the experience she gained but how dang young she was when she started her common app at the beginning of the summer. She had driven and motivation but her voice grew stronger over this year.

Finally DO DO DO have early action apps in especially at some schools that are safe bets. My daughter had a MUCH better time of it than many friends since she had a place to go (with lots and lots of merit) by November 7th. In fact in the end all of her acceptances were early action …long wait to RD but she went into the last month knowing she had seven choices …what a difference than some friends who were hearing for the first time and not getting good news.

@mstomper I am really excited IC is back on the table. Their communications program is AMAZING and was very hard for my daughter to turn down…it was in her final “three” and we were back their this weekend and impressed by it again. Ultimately though she did not feel IC as a college was a fit for her…if it is for your son I think that is the most important part. My husband came out of the day we had there and said to me he can not see how she could not go but we talked and I said this is her decision, her choice, her journey. The whole drive home I was thinking how glad it was not I who had to make the decision. I had done the Elon trip with her a few weeks ago though and saw her absolutely glow there so I knew this is the right choice for her. If your son loves it with his heart and his head the Park School and IC are a slam dunk and I am very excited for him and for you!! (Also be sure to try Purity Ice Cream and we stayed at the Marriott downtown and I have to say the bartender Roland was amazing! He created us cocktails off the menu that were spot on and he gave us great insight to the town).

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crazy posting glitch

But will add also for 2019 advice…we kept it all pretty close to us (she did text immediate family members photos of acceptances) and that was key. She did not tell everyone where she was applying, outside of family and close friends she did not share news or her thought process. Key to keep it private as so many people have (unfiltered) opinions and 17/18 year olds need to process for themselves.

First social media post was tonight after the deposit was paid.

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crazy posting glitch continued

oh and since I have the space…DD joined FB groups of accepted students at her top choices which was helpful…

and the most important advice of all ( how could I forget!) have them check their portals, check their portals, check their portals…even weeks after submitting colleges would post important messages on the portals about missing financials etc and they would go unread then there would be a crisis. ( I purposely did not sign in or even have her access information) In the end we used a goggle spread sheet and she would note on it twice a week when she signed in. She would put important messages there and then if it pertained to financial aid her dad and I would note on the sheet we saw it and took care of it. If it was hers…honors colleges etc she had to note her plan of action on the sheet.

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@MinnieFan - one of your points really stood out to me. The writing. The nice thing about doing some of the lesser loved schools’ applications early is that you can kind of cut your teeth on them, so to speak. You don’t want your first application you hit send on to be the school you REALLY love. I agree that the writing continued to get better and better the more applications that were completed. So, turn in the “most” important apps early, but do some others first to get comfortable.

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@mstomper I am from near Ithaca if you ever have questions on the general region (my sister went to Ithaca and my brother went to Cornell).

Does anyone smile a bit when they see someone is attending their alma mater for what they majored in? @2014novamom I just love when you talk about Syracuse and Newhouse. I had a great experience there (newspaper/political science). :x

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My advice for the 2019 parents:

Avoid the idea of a “dream school.” There’s no one school that will fulfill your child’s dreams. Instead, come up with a list of schools that all have great potential.

And separate the idea of accepting the kid from accepting the application. Make it clear early on that a rejection is a rejection of the application, not of the wonderful kid and all her friends love.

Make sure there are some real concrete safeties, and apply there early. Those rejections are so much easier to take with some acceptances already under your belt.

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Advice for Class of 2019:

  1. Don't apply to 15 to 20 schools! A dozen is plenty, ten might be enough. (Pick at least 2 or 3 true safeties defined as you have a better than 75% chance of admission and your stats are in the top 25% for those schools). If possible, apply to at least one safety early action. Early acceptance will reduce pressure as others noted. Apply to at least five or six matches (mostly high matches) and the rest reaches. Matches nowadays may not be as easy to get into as one thinks. Avoid trophy hunting.
  2. Visit colleges early. Senior year is very busy. Don't let em tell you junior year is the most stressful! We started looking at a few over Spring break sophomore year and summer before junior year. Ended up visiting about 15 schools by end of first semester Senior year (not all formal tours, some were drive by :-) ), mostly on the way to or from visiting family, friends, vacation... Once things were narrowed down by April 1, much less pressure and had only a couple to revisit. Also, try to visit schools that are high on the list when school is in session. Summer visits are nice but campuses can be dead.
  3. Finish the common App essay by July before senior year. Have it looked at and/or edited by at least three family members and if possible, teachers... Sit on it for a while, make changes. Write other essays for specific schools in the early fall. Revisit your Common App essay a couple more times. You will likely make changes.
  4. Show interest early and interview even if "optional". The more interviews done, the more skillful you will become. Schedule a less important school (for you) to interview first.
  5. Pace yourselves. Find other things to talk about besides colleges and college related to do lists :-). This might help avoid burn out!
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2019 parent here. I have been following you all (okay, lurking) along this year’s journeys. And I really appreciate all of this great advice. I’m reading and taking it all in. Keep it coming! :slight_smile:

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@bearcatfan Every Syracuse alum DD talks to loved their time there and she is super excited to attend. These folks range from her professional contacts to current students to random people on our flight last week. Of course, people who did not enjoy their time at Syracuse will not randomly express their dissatisfaction to someone wearing a Syracuse shirt, so there is some bias in her experience, LOL.