@fwtxmom
Yes, most people are not college maniacs like us CC folk!
Gee , I hope no one here is excited about sending their kids to Bama or Arkansas; otherwise , there could be some hurt feelings.
Donāt get me wrong-they are very good schools. My point is the parents who spent $100K on private high school whose kids study 3-4 hours a night and their kids end up where plenty of the public HS kids end up for free. Really, it speaks to the lack of interest/vision of the college counselors, or maybe the parents? People just kind of go where everyone else is going or to the places they have already heard about for years without bothering to look around. College is such a big commitment in every way, especially if your childās high school is an expensive college prep. I would expect to see more diverse choices.
@fwtxmom That seems to assume that the primary motivation for expensive private school is always to get admitted to an elite college. Speaking as someone who sent her kids to public school but knows lots of private school families, I think they have a variety of reasons for choosing that route. So I donāt think you can point to a couple of individual college outcomes and say the parents made a poor investment in private high school. Maybe they knew that their kid wouldnāt thrive in the local public school and had the means to make a different choice?
@fwtxmom just because they choose those schools does not mean that they didnāt do their research or that they are following the crowd. It means that for them , personally it was the school that fit their wants and needs. And just so you know, plenty of public school kids study 3-4 hrs a night as well. Your post has an elitist tone which is rather off-putting.
Apologies for any offense-none meant. I know all these families well and I know they have not been presented with the diversity of choices that I have discovered by reading these boards. Their kids will no doubt be fine at big publics but having options and choosing is more optimal to me than ending up somewhere by default. I am not even speaking of getting into āeliteā schools but looking at the great number of excellent smaller schools (like @JBSeattle did) available outside our region which seem completely unknown here.
We chose the grade and high schools for our kids because weāre Catholic.
We know they will end up in the same colleges as other kids who went to very good (and free) public schools. In fact, I wouldnāt even argue if someone said the local public school provides a better education than the Catholic schools weāve been fortunate enough to send our kids.
However, we value a Catholic education and the thousands we pay for tuition is worth it for them to pray before classes start for the day, before lunch, before a game, etcā¦
@fwtxmom Hope the finances work out with Knox so your DS can keep in the the āconsiderā file. Itās a CTCL school so he made a good choice to apply. Galesburg is a bit to small for my (and that of my kidsā taste) but itās still a quaint little town.
Choosing a college is a very personal decision . There is no one size fits all. How someone chooses to go about the search is also a personal decision. I would never judge someone based on a personal decision or feel that my way of searching or deciding which school to attend would be optimal for them. There are benefits to all institutions based on what someone is searching for.
We chose the high schol experience for each kid based on each individual and not for college outcomes.
@fwtxmom perhaps these kids chose these schools b/c with their stats, they are being placed in the honors college as well as getting significant merit aid to make the school very affordable while also getting the benefits that come with being in an honors program, while also getting the social experience of attending an SEC school.
My kids attend private schools for a variety of reasons - getting into an elite college was not among them. My younger son goes to a different h.s. than his older siblings because like your son, he has an LD and this h.s has a special program within the h.s. that provides extra support while he attends the same classes as kids w/o LDs. It is worth every penny to us, but for us, the goal is college, not elite college. Looking back at D17ās graduating class, only one is at an Ivy. The salutatorian who had acceptances to elite schools, opted to instead take a spot at U of S. Carolina in the honors college. His parents could well afford any school w/o financial aid, but HE wanted the social environment at Univ of SC. It didnāt surprise me at allā¦he was (still is) one of the biggest partiers in her class so it wasnāt shocking to hear that the social fit had more of an impact on his choice than attending what would be considered an elite school. Somehow he manages to balance academics with partying. I noticed this desire to attend larger public schools or non-elite schools that offered significant merit seemed to be a trend with many of the kids in the top 10% of her class-a handful are at Georgia. Another is in the honors college at Univ of DE, and then several are at Loyola, turning down more rigorous schools b/c the merit aid offered to them made it much cheaper for their families. S19ās class is still waiting on acceptances. Interestingly, there are many attending prestigious schools (Yale, Hopkins, MIT) but the only reason they got in is because they were recruited for sports. #2 in the class got deferred from Yale but he had no hook.
My D had one friend in particular whose parents paid over $50k a year for high school for both of their kids, with the understanding that the kids had to get full merit for college. Kids ended up at CC. I have zero against community college but I do think itās not the absolute best plan for college to dump $200k per kid into high school and have nothing left for college. These kids didnāt qualify for need aid at all. Of course we would never be able to afford private high school so it isnāt something weāve spent a lot of time thinking about the cost benefit there.
We chose public schools because thatās what we could afford. We are choosing (most likely) public colleges because thatās what we can afford. The ability to send your kid to whatever school will offer the best fit, social and academic environment is a huge luxury. I did allow S19 to apply to one private school (which reminds me that I still need to do the CSS!)
Most people (outside of CC) donāt have $40K per year for HS (thatās what it costs in our metro area, anyway), $75K a year for college, or kids who can get in to elite or even prestigious colleges. My kid is pretty average in almost every way and is applying to solid public schools. I donāt worry that his experience wonāt be precious and special enough - he doesnāt even like school! Iām happy that he agreed to go to college at all!
Thanks for the clarifications on taxation and scholarships. I knew that books could be covered, and so I suppose I just blithely figured that since thatās a non-tuition part of the COA, that the entire COA was fair game.
(Not that itās an issue for my D19, but still.)
Parent of high stats kids here - we will be super excited if our kid takes the NMSF or Presidential Elite at Alabama! Worth $150,000-200,000 to us and amazing opportunities for kiddo! But I am not offended by the earlier comment because TBH we are already used to it. We are a public school family all the way but I imagine that for some folks the private school environment is the right choice. I celebrate everyoneās choices because in the end we are all trying to do right by our children to the best of our ability. Happy Holidays everyone! Congratulations to all of those acceptances! So fun!
@mountainmomof3
Good point. Everyone has a different cross to bear and 99.9% have to balance what is best for their kids and financial sanity.
@JBSeattle , Congratulations!
@JBSeattle and @fwtxmom , there are plenty of us thrilled to have our kids go to private high school, make excellent grades, get accepted to top colleges and excitedly send their kid to Alabama. My NMF son got a world class education, studied abroad, conduct research, work an internship and co-op all while attending top sports events. He graduated with very low debt thanks to amazing scholarships.
On the front of my DD, Seattle University deferred her until the regular decision round. Disappointed, but not devastated.
@Longhaul
Sorry to hear about Seattle U.
@longhaul I am so sorry to read this about Seattle U, I do think she has a solid shot at RD.
Sorry about the deferral @Longhaul . I think disappointed, not devastated is a very healthy outlook. Hoping she hears good news in the future.
Mixed feelings here today.
S19 hit accept and we paid the deposit at his ED school, his far and away #1 choice, late last night. We did appeal his merit award and they upped it a tad, though not as much as Iād have liked.
This morning brought an acceptance from Seattle U, with a very very nice merit award. I know he chose the right school for him, and for his major and it is (we think) worth the price difference.
But, I find myself sad today. I think part of it is the $$, part of it is the family legacy we have at Seattle U and knowing not one of our 4 kids followed any legacy anywhere and part is fear of not having him close if things donāt work out and he canāt manage without some additional coaching. While his chosen school does offer a very extensive support (paid) program, it is more than he needs or wants so we need to try to find the right support services in other ways, both through the school and likely outside.
Itās been interesting though. The āpremiumā we are choosing to pay for him 1st versus 2nd choice is quite a bit less than we did for his brother yet I didnāt have these same feelings then. And, like then, I am very clear that itās the right choice for him. So interestingly enough, this one is all about me and Iām a bit surprised by it. Maybe because he is the last one or because in some ways he is far less self sufficient, and less able to share when struggling but I think itās tied up far more in my own childhood, the loss of my dad and running around that campus back in his teaching days. Sniff.
I did look into it and it appears that if he needed to transfer after his first semester, heād still be considered a freshman at Seattle U for merit purposes. So itās a great back up option for freshman year if needed.
Iāll still be sad to see him decline/withdraw and sad to never know the outcome at UW.
RIT Sweatshirt should arrive on Monday! GO TIGERS!