Sending positive vibes today @JBSeattle! I’m with you on anti-loan. I shared D14 experience and it worked for her as it was manageable. D16 was like “no way am I spending extra money to go OOS” and picked a great in-state school so no loans (yey!). S19 really wanted to go south, so he picked the cheapest school that he really liked so he could graduated debt-free as well. Fortunately the two middle kids were practical. We’ll see about the 4th kid rising up the ranks.
I do remember D14 saying even though she LOVED her experience at the OOS school, she now realizes that the in-state option would have been just as good and would have yielded the same results. A few less rainbows and unicorns, but she now sees that she would have made her own way. Her boyfriend is clobbered with OOS debt from the same school (guessing like $100K+) from parents that let him go but didnt give him any $$ and he reaaaaaalllllyyyyy regrets it because he can’t move out or ask D14 to marry him yet (thank God )
@JBSeattle , one major thing to consider is many NYC internships are unpaid and the student puts out costs for transit and to dress the correct way. NYC is VERY brand aware. And travel time to internships is time consuming which may mean no work study could be done.
I had a kid who took the cheapest school/less prestige. It was difficult the first year or two until his success could be measured against high school friends who weren’t getting the opportunities he was. No matter the maturity, these kids are told by classmates and teachers that if they earn the grades they get better colleges. This just isn’t fair to hear that message. It isn’t true and it puts terrible expectations on the kid
My daughter’s girlfriend/romantic interest is going to Yale. Her parents are loaded though so the situation is different (I assume they are loaded since her HS costs around $50k per).
I don’t get this line of thinking, that if you work hard you deserve better. Better than what? High school is a kid’s job. They are expected to work hard. I keep reading ‘oh, I worked so hard for what? For nothing!’ Really? you wouldn’t have done your homework if you knew you were ‘only’ going to go to a state school? There are kids lined up 10 deep to go to U of Washington, Cal, Colorado, UF, Michigan. Do you think anyone who didn’t do his job in high school is going to one of those schools?
@my2greatkids Some say if you flip a coin to make the choice you will either be excited/relived by the answer, or disappointed, thereby revealing your true inner feelings. Sometimes it’s worth a shot.
If her dream is to go to Manhattan, and it is doable, she should go there. i think that giving her 40 grand after graduation for not going could backfire on you all. If she later feels she missed her chance by taking the money, that would be a big issue for all of you to overcome.
Or she can travel the world for a year to get over the heartache of a bachelors degree from WSU and no debt. It could be hard to overcome. She’ll have loads of friends. A new girlfriend and a job or grad school to worry about. If in four years of college she is still bitter about manhattan college. There’s something else wrong.
@JBSeattle My daughter struggled with a similar issue between choosing a local college and going somewhere “cool” and far away. She’s valedictorian and felt like people expected more from her and she wanted the wow reaction from people. The local school was where “everyone” went, therefore it is not good, even though it has a great reputation in our area. But after much deliberation, she decided the best choice was the local college because it was easy to get home if she needed to, she would not be in as much debt (maybe none), and she could move wherever she wanted when she was done. This is only 4 years. Saving money now would allow her more freedom for her adult life. And if she moves somewhere far away as an adult, it will be to stay and not have to move home from a dorm in summers.
The local school (it’s 1.75 hours away) also had every major she’s ever considered so we knew she would be covered there in the event of changing her mind. It also met every item on her oddly specific wish list except for “no one from school”.
Fortunately the struggle happened in the fall and she had a lot of time to change her mindset and realize she’s going to a legit college and it’s going to be great. Visiting with professors really helped. At this point she is very glad she’s not going to get dropped off somewhere and hear “See you at Christmas!” She is even happy there will be some HS classmates with her.
Good luck. We had many discussions and it wasn’t fun but I wasn’t going to let her go down the big debt path (or make our finances a struggle).
This morning my daughter said “Let’s put the deposit down for Western”. She Is not completely happy but realizes it is the decision that makes the most sense. She is going to study abroad almost for sure and already has plans to room with a friend.
@bjscheel
Yes, the finances for Manhattan would have been a struggle as she would really have been obligated to do 10 hour a week work study plus earn some money during the summer to have spending money during the year.
Congratulations @JBSeattle! What a relief, I’m sure!! She’ll have a blast for 4 years - and then be able to work or go to grad school in NYC if necessary!
My son ended up turning down his ‘dream’ school - Clive Davis, Tisch NYU, for financial reasons. It would have been crazy expensive if I’d had only one kid - but with a twin also looking at NYC schools, I couldnt do it. I only let him apply because it never occurred to me that he would be accepted! The NPC was nowhere NEAR the end costs, either. I think your daughter will find many advantages to being closer to home, and not having to pay NYC prices.
The other nice thing is that she will have lots of credits coming in as she had 2-3’s on AP tests (credits accepted at Western but not at most private’s) plus another year of college German (accepted everywhere) plus two more AP tests with scores yet to be determined.
@Britmom5
That must have been tough as it was happy he got in but…
@JBSeattle Congratulations! My D also was accepted to a school in NYC with a nice merit scholarship but when we were calculating the extra costs of having her attend, the total quickly spiraled! My D was also excited to think of living in downtown Manhattan and tell all her friends about her exciting years to come, but ultimately decided on a location that might sound a little less “sexy” but feels more familiar and convenient so she can focus on her studies and not have to sweat finances all the time. I think you guys are very wise and from what I’ve heard and read, WWA is a really wonderful school!
@JBSeattle It’s a lot, to walk in knowing you have to work that many hours a week and can be really hard for lots of kids. If she wasn’t 100% into it, it really seems like the right call, this gives her a ton of flexibility. She can always transfer if she isn’t happy. I really agree with everyone about the costs being SO much higher for manhattan, beyond everything else. The flights for breaks (at peak holiday time) or the stress of figuring out where to stay if you are kicked out of your dorm…it all adds up.
I hope you call can get really excited about Western, it has a lot to offer! Congratulations.
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