I have been away from CC for a bit, and just cruising through some of these threads. My DC’19 is happy, though very busy with school. They just finished finals before Thanksgiving (quarter system), but seem to be hitting into a round of mid-terms already for second quarter. Since it is not between terms, assigning holiday work is allowable- I am with @mom2twogirls’ spanish teacher- give the students a rest!
This parental focus on tests and scores is a bit odd to me. I see standardized tests as a threshold barometer to help peg the school performance/potential grade inflation and really not a pacing or gating barrier for college admissions.
I am looking forward to some down-time for the holidays!
@ItsJustSchool “This parental focus on tests and scores is a bit odd to me. I see standardized tests as a threshold barometer to help peg the school performance/potential grade inflation and really not a pacing or gating barrier for college admissions.”
Problem is that colleges do see test scores as a barrier to college admission. Let’s say your child will have a 10% better chance at admission to his first choice by bumping their ACT up 1 point. And everyone else is taking prep classes to improve their ACT scores. Doesn’t it make sense to help them bump their ACT?
It’s also cold, hard cash. Higher stats mean not just better chances at admission, but also better chances at merit scholarships, and if you can’t afford full pay at these places then you’d better be chasing scholarships.
@ItsJustSchool I hate the rat race for ACT and SAT scores as well but I’ve accepted it. All of S19’s friends study for the test on their own in a big way or have private tutors. I knew he was capable of a high score so he studied on his own this summer for the Aug SAT. If it wasn’t what we hoped, I would have gotten him a tutor. We had realistic expectations so I wasn’t pushing him past his ability, but many kids need to prepare for those tests as the questions are not like what they see at school. For our D21, our plan will be the same but I don’t expect her final scores to be as high and that’s ok. We’ve seen that studying works, though, and I like showing the kids that putting in the work results in a better score. It’s all about effort in our house.
@ItsJustSchool I don’t like it that schools use the SAT use the scores as a barometer/gauge when they consider our kids for admissions and merit money. But it does matter.
I don’t want my kid to put in a bunch of study and prep work just to get a higher score on the tests, but I want him to see " garbage in/garbage out"… people that put in zero effort usually don’t get what they want, and people that at least make an effort sometimes get better results. So, I’d like him to do a little prep on his English section and see if he can bring it up a bit, if not, no worries. But at least try.
I really don’t care where he scores end up. I just think with a little effort he might open some doors to some schools he might have an interest in. If he doesn’t increase his scores, then the reality is those schools are out of reach for sure.
@sdl0625 we weren’t even thinking about or worrying about NMS at all. The score in MA is a pretty high mark to achieve. We anticipated his English to be lower than needed. No biggie. My other son was better in English vs math, but eventually brought his math scores and grades to be on par with each other. He just got an A in calculus in college, yay!
If my D19’s PSAT score accurately predicts her SAT score, she would get a 67%-tuition scholarship at Alabama-Huntsville (which has a pretty good program in her main field of interest, and family relatively nearby, so a good option).
If she scores a mere 20 points higher, though? A 100% tuition waiver.
After stressing out with my two daughters, and my D17 getting hosed in college admissions I am stepping back from obsessing about my S19. The fact is that you can tutor your kids or have them tutored to the test, stress them out (our like D17 they can stress themselves out), have perfect ECs and sports and still walk away wondering what the heck happened? Whatever will be, will be. I will provide help if he wants it but his PSAT score was pretty good. I’ve lost all the sleep I will over this college BS. Making him cry is not going to happen.
UAH is too far for it to be worth it for my d (she will likely find our instate more affordable especially when travel is factored in) but from what I’ve read and seen I think it would have been a good fit for her if it was closer to where we live. We’ve watched a few YouTube videos about it. She definitely thought from those that it would have been a better fit for her than Tuscaloosa.
@RightCoaster I’m a WPI alumni (1980s vintage) and my son is thinking of going, the projects really intrigued him. We’re in CA so I’m hoping he stays closer to home. He applied early action so we’ll find out soon. That said? WPI is on a 7 week term schedule (quarter schedule). You take 3 classes a term and it is almost every day. If you procrastinate (I speak from experience) you can get hopelessly behind very quickly. It can be intense. I’ve warned my son that it isn’t as chill as it may seem from the outside.
@LoisLane100 hi, we live a short distance from WPI and my son visits frequently for robotics competitions. Good luck to your son with his application. If he doesn’t go to WPI where do you want him to go in CA and why?
My son likes group projects, the quarter schedule, the vibe, closeness to home that WPI offers . He is a very good student and gets all of his work done in a timely manner. He is competitive, but also likes to work on teams. He is not sure if he wants a “pressure cooker” environment or maybe something a little less stressful. I think his current High School is stressful at times and very competitive and cut throat. He really likes to study and get involved with things that are of interest to him, but less enthusiastic about subject matters that don’t capture his interest. He still gets good grades in subjects that he doesn’t like, but I think he’d like to avoid dealing with ta lot of that in college if possible.
@RightCoaster I’d like my son to go to Berkeley because it is close to home. He isn’t sure he wants to be that close. He goes to a top 100 public school (according to US News World & Reports, if one puts stock in that kind of thing) that one has to test in to in order to attend. His grades (GPA) and SAT scores are extremely competitive. WPI can be a pressure cooker in terms of rigor (I speak from direct experience). What is different I found is the collaborative atmosphere, which was really attractive to him.
@sdl0625, we haven’t toured UAH or anything, but did do a drive-through of the campus a couple summers ago when we were down that way. Visually, it reminded me of Central Florida, where I used to work, just without the palm trees.
@cleoforshort you have a good attitude, I remember you were a bit stressed with your d17 ( I remember her being a great student athlete with top test scores) . I kind of agree with the what will be , will be approach. I’m trying not to “force” my kid to study or prep more, but just want him to see how it might help him in the long run.
I’ve been through this rodeo before. Here are a few things I know to be true (at least for me but I suspect for others as well).
If you care more about your child's test scores, GPA and college applications than they do, the more you push the less likely they are to improve and the more likely you are to damage your relationship.
Getting into the right school is of little to no value if they don't have the skills, emotional and mental health to succeed once there. The more work you as parent do (as opposed to they as student) to get them into that right school the less likely they are to have what it take to succeed there.
My family of 5 climbed to the top of Mt. Fuji once. The kids were 11, 13, and 15 at the time. I could write a book about the experience but suffice it to say we made a lot of mistakes. When we hit station 8 the younger two were done. They begged to turn around and head down. But as parents we thought we knew better. This was our one chance to climb Fuji, think of the bragging rights, you’ll always be sorry if you don’t make it to the top, you can do this. We forced them to continue. I literally dragged my middle child up the last stretch from station 9 to the summit. I put my arm around her and pulled her along saying over and over “you can do this” and “almost there”. We made it to the top and collapsed, entirely spent. The problem was we still had to get ourselves back down and I had no energy or muscle strength left for the descent. The descent ended up being much worse and much more dangerous then the ascent. Thankfully the story ended well but it could have ended very poorly. I was so focused on getting us all to the top that I forgot about everything else.
In this college journey it is so easy to focus on the goal of admissions that we forget that there is an entire life to be lived after high school. Our kids have only one adolescence. If they spend all of it focused on getting in to the right school what happens if their efforts aren’t enough.and they don’t get in, or they get in but are so burned out that they check out and party away freshman year, or they were so propped up and pushed by momma or dadda that they can’t cope on their own and crash and burn, or or or.
Many is the child who could have gotten into a highly selective school if they just buckled down and applied themselves but they choose not to. There are many paths to success and happiness in this life. The vast majority of them do not require top notch test scores.
Exactly @mom23travelers . I’d like to weigh in as well. I totally understand chasing merit. I will tell you that the scores that many of your kids have already will put them in good position for merit. My DS16 was not a NMF. He had a 32 on the ACT, ranked in the top 1% of the class, lots of ECs, leadership and Eagle Scout. He is attending an excellent Honors College on practically a full ride. I spent less than 1500.00 last year for books and fees. The money is there. Many of the schools that you are chasing are not generous schools. That said, my son’s mental health is way more important than prestige to our family .
Great analogy @mom23travelers. I’m lucky in that my D19 is self-motivated. I’ve never had to ask her to study or do homework–except when it comes to test prep. But my goal isn’t to put D19 in a school that is too competitive for her. I agree with your perspective in that. I see people stressing out over getting their kid into HYPS and I wonder if their kid will really be happy there or if the parent just wants to brag that their kid is in HYPS.
I’m just chasing merit aid. I know very well that a single point on the ACT is worth $24,000 to me in less tuition I’ll have to pay. Luckily for me, D19 realizes that also. When I showed her the ACT scores, I showed them without comment to see her reaction. She said, “That’s bad. I need to take it again.”
So I just had a talk with DS about the studying, and found out that yesterday was full of some school Drama that he hadn’t told me about. He had pushed through the testing but when he reached overwhelmed level he had that meltdown that made me feel so guilty. I offered to back off on the ACT study sessions together until after the new year, but he said he liked doing them unless they were math. So I’m going to keep on, even if sometimes my drama queen has a teary evening.
So we sat down and he did a practice reading test and got a perfect score What a difference a day makes…
