@Trixy34 & @ninakatarina Just wanted to say thank you to you both for being so open, honest and refreshingly real in your last posts!
I have it pretty easy when people ask where son19 is looking. People have just started talking about this more, I guess folks went on some college tours recently and are now in full out panic mode, lol.
I just tell them that son is looking at a bunch of local colleges and leave it at that. Since there are about 1,000 colleges in a 100 mile range people can think what they want. Iām mostly going to avoid the subject with people for the next 6 weeks until summer break if I can. Definitely not bringing it up.
When S17 went off to college last year, it was more exciting than sad for everyone. He was going far but we all felt prepared for the separation. With D19, weāll become empty-nesters which feels like an even bigger change. Iām just as excited for her but thereās more emotion building in regards to the impending loss of kids in the house. Im forcing myself to squish down those emotions to minimize any anxiety she may have with the transition to college.
We had the last choir concert of the year on Friday and the teacher had a little something to say about all 7 seniors. The senior class is small and uninvolved. DD counted how many juniors are in choir and got 20. Hoping he doesnāt make a speech about all 20 next year! This year wonāt be sad for DD since she wasnāt close with any seniors. Last year was pretty rough on her though. Apparently here, every other year has the music/drama/speech kids- Class of 17, 19, 21ā¦
Weāll be empty nesters after DDā19 too. DDā17 is only an hour away, so we havenāt had a difficult transition, yet. Well, DDā19 misses her sister a lot! They are very close sisters and best friends. It will be different, for sure, when theyāre both gone and I really hope that they end up close enough to visit us and each other frequently.
I had been getting used to the idea of DDā19 going far away for college, since we found a school she loved with a COA we could afford. She liked the idea of going far, she likes to travel, and to be different from the other students here who all go to cc or in-state. Suddenly this weekend sheās not so sure about the distance, and still really wants a Christian private instead of a public, particularly one a friend is going to. I would LOVE to have her closer and at a Christian school, but everything close costs so much more. Back to the drawing board to see if we can work anything out, and keep the other in our back pocket as a financial safety. Barring a miracle, I donāt think a private is possible. Dang it, I thought we had a plan 
I hear you, @bjscheel. We live in the Philly suburbs, so you canāt take 3 steps without running into a great school. But S19 has been adamant that he wants to go somewhere else for college and spread his wings. I get that. No problem. But then all of a sudden last week he says, āWell, Penn really is kind of nice, and I like Philadelphia. It might not be sooo bad to be close to home in case there were an emergency or something.ā Great! All we need is another highly selective school on the list! On the other hand, he really seems to be leaning U Chicago, and I think Iāve been in denial about how difficult the distance would be.
I didnāt realize getting the meningitis vaccine was optional. My oldest took classes at three universities (2 states) and all three required the vaccine.
Regarding empty nesters, my husband and I were watching tv, then looked around, then at each other and realized it was just us. The oldest was away at college, the two younger ones were out doing high school stuff. It was a scary sobering moment. So we decided to get our marriage groove back and began going on a monthly date and overnight hotel stays and lots of concerts. Itās been great! Now I am not dreading being an empty nester and know that my husband and I still know how to enjoy each other and have fun!
This year has been one ugly cry after another for me; both kids have done some of their ālastsā in terms of sports and activities and all 3 of my DS19ās best friends are seniors so that adds another level of bittersweet to the year. There are so many things about this stage of life that I love but the long process of letting go is the hardest thing Iāve ever done as a parent.
@homerdog Baseline knowledge of schools is low, thatās for sure. There are hospitals, etc all around southern California with the name Scripps on them. So then the confusion when I mention Scripps College is almost funny. From a woman who does HR for Scripps Healthcare: āOh? I didnāt know we had a college.ā Nope, you actually donāt have a college, but thanks for playing. We took Dās friend, a freshman, with us on two college visits this past weekend and although both her parents have degrees, they are all clueless. āWhich is more prestigious, a college or a university?ā Uuuummmā¦(insert patience here). People around here know only the UCs, other big state schools, Stanford, Ivies. I could tell people Davidson College and they would have less respect and recognition for that than, say, Boise State. Since Iām a product of a LAC myself, Iām used to it but it does get tedious to try to give people context and perspective.
Iām kinda looking forward to being an empty nester, I admit. Itās going to be weird for my youngest, who will be the only one at home for all her high school years. That era almost seems sadder/harder to me than when theyāre all out and on their own. I give so much to my kids, in practical terms, time, and emotional energy. I think Iāll be ready when theyāre ready to launch. I do wish we had slowed down with D, who is young for her grade with an August birthday. She couldāve used some more time to mature before starting school. Hindsight and 20/20 and all thatā¦
@4MyKidz So wise!! Investing in your own emotional future ā makes sense.
@SDCounty3Mom - Thanks for the laugh! So many people around us know nothing about liberal arts colleges, even Davidson, which is only 4 hours away. Of course they know all the big SEC schools. When I was at our high school a couple of weeks ago, I quickly scanned the little banners up for those who had decided on a college and had told a counselor. The high school has almost 4000 students and I didnāt see a single LAC - later heard of one boy going to Colorado College. My D17 was one of maybe 4 or 5 who chose LACs last year.
I still canāt believe she and I decided to go for it and have her go 15 hours from home. What a rough first semester it was, but things are much better now. As much as I would like to have her closer, I know it has been an incredible experience for her. Iām definitely very aware of time as I anticipate my son graduating next year and have to go through the lasts with both of his sports (water polo and tennis). It will be so strange to not watch him play! The sadness has been tempered a bit lately since heās being kind of a jerk, and Iām over it!
@elena13 I think they are hardwired to be completely aggravating sometimes, because otherwise weād hold onto them too tight!
Some people in Southern California are confused with Pomona College and Cal State Pomona.
San Diego has too many confusing Scripps and Carmel. Scripps Research Institute, Scripps Institute of Oceanography, Scripps Ranch, Scripps Memorial Hospital,ā¦ Carmel Mountain, Carmel Valley,ā¦
DH and I have a long list of things we want to do, so part of me is looking forward to having my weekends free. The other part of me wants to cry. lol.
This is an especially raw time for me, since my husband passed away a few years ago. I used to say that he was the one who would make it OK that my kids would grow up. Now that isnāt true anymore. Thankfully, I wonāt be empty nest yet, but seeing them go one by one is not an easy thing.
Iām so sorry, @gallentjill. Seeing them go will be so hard, and I should be more grateful for my husbandās support and presence.
@gallentjill {{{hugs}}} So sorry for your loss.
Thanks guys.
@gallentjill Sending thoughts and support your way. So sorry for your loss. Milestones and life transitions are hard under such circumstances. Please know that your CC 2019ers are with you in this one. 
@SDCounty3Mom I had to laugh about the Cali folks. Here in Pennsylvania and the Mid-Atlantic, everyone seems to know what a LAC is because there are so many of them around and several are well-regarded. Mention Elizabethtown, Gettysburg, Dickinson, Susquehanna, Juniata, Bucknell, and Lebanon Valley in my neck of the woods and the response is always āthose are great schools!ā
We even have a public LAC in the PASSHE system, Mansfield.
In fact, it is the Penn State / UPenn thing that trips people up more. 
@SDCounty3Mom thatās pretty funny about Scripps. Folks up here all know the consortium schools but donāt know the healthcare aspect so would never connect those dots. Our local LACās (Whitman, Lewis & Clark, UPS, etc) are well known but get outside of WA and OR and folks only know the bigger named schools as well.
@gallentjill good luck getting through these times with your kids. Iām sure itās a bunch of mixed emotions, but hopefully you can enjoy some great times with your kids during this transition. You are obviously a very strong woman and itās great you are able to help your kids transition to adulthood.