Thanks for input on resumes – definitely helpful. I wouldn’t have thought to take one in to an interview. Since D19 is emphasizing LACs, they seem to be pretty interviewy. Good to know about scholarship apps using it too.
@BorgityBorg I don’t remember taking any subject tests, but I do know I took the SAT 2-3 times and 5 APs, and the ACT once. My D really wants to bail on the ACT entirely and I think I’m ok with that. The darn SAT has consumed so much energy, not to mention her APs this year.
@gallentjill I should clarify what my friend indicated. It was that at her LAC, really “demonstrated interest” wouldn’t do much for the application one way or the other unless a certain critical mass of points of contact was reached, and then it could indeed boost an application. So it’s not that they’re looking at an unopened email and marking you down, but that by merely clicking through a few emails, getting on the mailing list, and stuff like that, they would take notice. It doesn’t mean you have to tour every campus. It doesn’t mean you have to do the virtual tour – but that hey, doing the virtual tour can benefit you, in case you can’t make it to the campus. I thought it was actually a stress-relieving/hopeful message, that there are ways to get to that level where they take notice, and various ways to do it. In her discussion, demonstrated interest is just a thing that’s sitting there waiting to be taken advantage of, and you can max out that category with relatively little effort. It only works against you in that one specific case where you live within a couple of hours’ drive and didn’t visit the campus. So it’s a way to put a little showy frame on your application so that it sticks out and gets a little extra love, not that it’s a bunch of stuff you have to do. Make sense? But again, this was one LAC a decade and a half ago when our '19 kids were babies and toddlers. So take it with a grain of salt too.
@jsnowut Round two for our family. I have a DS16 . He received a lot of flack for choosing a school that was a much better fit for him than the state flagship that so many of his classmates wanted to attend. He’s thriving , and it works for him.
D17 had resume and attached it to some applications where appropriate and brought it along to interviews. It also helped with organizing her activities prior to doing the Common App. I helped S19 do one recently so he could give it to his letter writers along with the biographical questions asked for by the school counselors. I’m not sure he will do many interviews but it may be good to have. Plus, looking at it has given us an idea about his “story” as we think about how to approach his applications.
Oh, @jsnowut, this cannot be your child, because she did not speak at all to her parents at all for at least three weeks. It was total silent treatment, as described by the mom very specifically to my friend, with whom I confirmed all details this evening to make sure I had them straight. The student also sounded much angrier and more upset than you describe your D. So it sounds like your family handled it much better, including preparing her early for the possibility that some schools might be off the table and using a NPC to get a sense early on of the actual costs at both institutions. Good work, and, as you say, CHEERS!
@homerdog - did you post about schools with geology a little while back? I think I remember that. I hope Hamilton is on the list, though it’s a bummer they don’t give merit aid. And one of the geology professors at SUNY New Paltz is from my hometown. (Actually, I used to babysit him. lol!) I haven’t taken his class, obviously, but I can vouch for his depth of knowledge and teaching ability. I think that’s a very good department.
It’s worth remembering that, for the vast majority of colleges in the US (and in Canada) today, it’s pretty much exactly like that nowadays as well, except that (a) you have to provide a high school transcript yourself—though that was the case in the US back in the 80s, too, what with having a much more decentralized local school system here than the provincial system that’s the Canadian norm—and (b) an SAT/ACT is widely though nowhere near remotely universally required.
Of course, most colleges don’t seem to be recognized as being in existence here on College Confidential.
@dfbdfb I think it’s great when folks can find the best fit for them, whether it’s a college “most here” recognize or not. But I do think “most here” are here because they want support with the more involved application process of those schools that aren’t quite so straightforward.
Our approach has been, and continues to be with #4, that there is a budget and that budget has a cap. If it appears that a school has the possibility of coming in at or under the cap, they can stay on the list and the student may apply. If there is no chance, the school is out. We are very very (very!) clear with our kids on the budget and that if offers do not come in where they need to be, it cannot be considered.
S19 has the benefit of seeing this in action where a school was pulled from consideration based on the offer for his older brother. In general NPC’s have been relatively accurate for us and most other financial data is out there to at least understand the range of possibility.
My rule has been that each child must have one financial safety, one admissions safety, one that is both and one that is in state. That could be 4 schools or it could be one.
If the top school comes in at the high end of the budget, but it truly is the best fit then we will support it even if there are lower cost options on the table. If however we are not in agreement about the fit then it could be a different conversation. Thankfully we’ve been on the same page with 3 out of 4 so far due to a lot of open communication and I hope that things will remain the same with S19. He has 8 on the list and I could see the list shrinking, not growing. Which I am partially in favor of but at the same time, since he is lopsided, am inclined to leave it alone.
As for the resume, S17 needed it for 2 schools and at least one scholarship application, he needed separate music and theater ones for scholarship applications as well. I’d thought S19 was gong to need one for a scholarship application (a junior year school nominated award at one of the colleges on his list) but he only needed to give the GC the resume content (not an actual formatted resume, just the info in an email) info and they put it into their nomination app for him. Apparently it was good enough as he did get the award. He still has to be accepted though so for right now it doesn’t mean much other than it’s nice and shiny. And if nothing else, it should count as demonstrated interest, right? LOL.
@eandesmom, I’m curious why the “one in state” requirement? (And not to be too pedantic, but “one that is both” necessarily covers the first two categories, so your requirements will met be with at most 2 schools.)
I don’t think a 17 yr old giving the silent treatment for 3 wks is as earth shattering apparently - esp for a girl. Have we all not experienced a good toddler moment with our teens?
Lol @amandakayak our D21 (when she was four years old) sat on our stairs in time out for NINE hours without speaking to us. Every hour or so, we would tell her that she just needed to apologize to S19 and then she could leave her time out. She would just stare us down. She went without lunch and dinner and feel asleep on the stairs. Let us all imagine how stubborn she is as a 15 year old!!
My one older dd decided to quit her sport (not a team thing) - of which I had become too invested I’ll admit - right before states and blablabla…she kept the silent treatment to any discussion around that sport for 3 months. We all survived but yeah, teen girls have stamina. Moms of teens have stamina. It happens.
Teen girls aren’t the only ones capable of sustaining a long silent treatment. The best one at it in my house is neither a teen nor a girl. I prefer silence to hurtful words that can’t be taken back.
I don’t know that I have stamina. A lot of days I just feel old and beat down. Lol. My 13 year old has been better lately, though. She started some counseling for anxiety, and apparently the therapist told her that she was taking advantage of me and my softer ways. She has really been much nicer to live with since then.
Re the whole college cost thing - my ex and I had a long talk about this yesterday. The situation is that we were divorced many years ago, but I have continued to work from home and kind of just get by while still being there for the kids to cart them here and there, etc. I just couldn’t see them losing their family unit and then going back full time into the legal field. On top having to split time with their father who has who has his own consulting firm and is constantly working, I would have never been home. I think the kids would have ended up lonely, depressed and very troubled. (And frankly, I would have been miserable) Luckily, while I don’t have family nearby to lean on for child care, carpooling, etc.,I have had enough financial support from family to be able to kind of stay home. Anyway, point being that my contribution to college is going to be very minimal. My ex is doing very well financially, but of course he also has to think about his own retirement. There is $$ for the kids’ college, but probably not $60-70k a year for each, and who knows what the stock market will bring by the time S22 gets around to college. Neither of us feels that most undergrad experiences are worth that kind of money. If S19 were to get into a tippy top ivy, his dad would make it work. But short of that, money will definitely be a consideration. But we’re trying to figure out how to get S19 to understand this and to work with us on targeting schools that could offer him a lot of aid. I don’t think he has any concept of what $60k a year means. In general, he’s just not really into the whole college decision thing right now at all. It’s aggravating. I think once school is over, and he’s had a time to rest and recoup, the three of us will have to have a sit-down and hash things out. What I hate, though, is having to be so involved in the process. My ex and I both were basically in charge of our own college selection process - because back then, there wasn’t $280,000 on the line if we picked the wrong school. It’s all so crazy.
@Trixy34 sounds like you have a good relationship with the ex for thinking through all the college stuff though, that’s great. My bff has to go through the lawyers for nearly everything with her ex and college planning for their d19 and s21 is becoming one huge contentious battlefield.
I remember researching colleges with my mom’s one input to draw a circle around our hometown and I couldn’t apply to anything outside that circle, so of course I picked any college on the periphery.
@Trixy34 Hamilton on the “maybe” part of the list but, if geosciences are still something S19 wants to pursue come late fall, he will definitely apply. Thanks for the heads up. I spent some time on their website this morning and it looks like a great program there. Interestingly enough, his two safest schools have a lot to offer in the earth science field so that’s a relief!
@EastGrad Sorry for the mix-up and the detour in the thread. If your friend’s neighbors would like to connect - as our experiences were very similar and sounds like our kids are headed to the same place - shoot me a PM with their contact info.
Catching up on this thread again. As the school year winds down it becomes harder and harder to find a spare moment. I can’t wait for my last day of work - June 18th! My 8th graders take their quarterlies next week and then they are essentially done.
My son has 14 schools on his list. One or two may be bumped off but I’m thinking it’s almost a given that he will be applying to at least 12 schools if not all 14 on his list. I am sooo torn on the SAT subject tests. I need to go back and review the recommended, required, etc… My son is sooo tired of the whole SAT process (as am I)!!
I saw the broadway musical, Dear Evan Hansen, over the weekend. I took my 14 year old sister. It was amazing and I highly recommend seeing it. It should be required viewing for all high school students!
And one of the geology professors at SUNY New Paltz is from my hometown. (Actually, I used to babysit him. lol!) I haven’t taken his class, obviously, but I can vouch for his depth of knowledge and teaching ability. I think that’s a very good department.