It’s funny how kids can instantly hate or love a school, @peachActuary73 @cinn124 – we thought my D17 would love Wesleyan but she ha-a-a-ated it (it was a super quiet day during our tour, which was strange) and didn’t even apply. Then my D19, we figured she wouldn’t like it either because she likes a lively LAC, but – she toured and fell hard. Neither of them liked Tufts but they have a cousin who goes there and who is having the best time, so…to each their own, I guess.
Welcome, @cinn124! I have a friend whose daughter walked onto the Tufts campus and loved it. She was crushed when she didn’t get in, but is loving BU, a very different place, now.
Sounds like each person in your family needs her own place, @JenJenJenJen! There will be no repeats, Jen(JenJenJen).
Had some good alone time with S19 yesterday. He said he finally has time to really think about colleges. Kind of threw me for a loop on one of the schools that’s been towards the top of his list. Said that he’s been on the fence for a while now about it and just didn’t say anything. He’s been thinking that the town attached to the school just seemed really sleepy compared to other school’s towns that we’ve visited. That’s fair enough. He’s always said that he likes the idea of a little town where the students hang out. On the flip side, he’s now more interested in a school that’s been on the back burner for a while. His AP Lang teacher loves this school and S19 has been doing more research on it (who knew?) so it’s moved up in his brain.
The thing that’s a little disconcerting is that he now knows which graduating seniors are going to which colleges. S19 is shifting his opinions a bit on who is going where. He looks up to certain seniors and trusts their judgement and now wants to think about some of the schools where they are going (even though one of them is a school he already visited and took off of his list). The flip side is also true. The school with the sleepy town is taking two seniors from our school this year and S19 thinks those kids are not great students. I am also a bit surprised that they were accepted. It makes S19 want to look elsewhere. I reminded him that he had a great visit and we both really liked the students we met. He agreed and said he would still apply and visit if he got accepted. Mind you, this school is not a safety. The ACT 25-75 range is 30-33.
While I’m glad he’s forming more opinions, I’m getting a little worried that he’s got some favorites that are reaches. I’ve showed him the numbers. He understands how low the acceptance rates are. But he sees kids from his school with his grades/scores or lower getting in to places with 10-12% acceptance rates and seems overly hopeful that he will also get in. This is going to be very nerve wracking for me.
Anyone else’s kids looking at the seniors and changing their opinions on their college lists?
@homerdog My D is the same way, but it extends to not only the type of student, but the type of kid. If there are kids who she says are not her people, going to a certain school, then she thinks she wouldn’t fit there. I try to tell her that is a very narrow way to think about schools. On the flip side there is a senior she is friendly with going to a lac, that is now suddenly on the list!
@wisteria100 Believe me, it’s also about the “type of person”. S19’s line of thinking goes something like this - if I’m not “like” this student then why would we choose the same school? It’s more of a fit issue than him judging anyone. But, if he’s known the student since he was young and they never clicked or had anything in common, then it seems weird to him that they would end up at the same place. I would say that’s definitely NOT a way to choose a school if a student is looking at big universities. Since he’s looking at LACs, though, it makes a little more sense. Fit is important when the college is even smaller than his high school.
Many of the colleges that we have been discussing in this thread are making pretty good efforts to have diversity in their student body. One thing that could help when talking to our kids is to remind them that if diversity (in all kinds of ways) is important to them, then there would be a wide variety of students on campus, and a good number of people with whom they really wouldn’t click. However, I definitely get that it’s hard to change a teenager’s mind once they have formed an opinion, especially my kid!
@elena13 yes. I agree. But I think S19’s reasonsing is more like - if that kid liked the school enough to go there and found his people there then would I be able to do the same? Some of these LACs have their own flavor so it’s a legitimate concern. I only ask that he keeps an open mind and visits if he’s accepted in order to give the school a fair shake.
Yep just added a school that a current senior is headed to. But really just starting to talk specifics now so not surprising. Older D did not firm up her list till the summer before so is okay with me. Saves me from the changing of the mind that would have occurred otherwise.
Just in the sense that she wants to go where there is NO ONE else from her school. This year’s seniors all went to cc, the nearest directional public, and the nearest flagship. Except for one going to a private 5 hours away because it has equestrian stuff. She did add one to her list after she got a crush on her prom date (not from our school) but we can’t afford it so…
Thursday night the girls had a bonfire and everyone that ended up coming were college age. DD’19 got a lot of straight talk on college and costs which was good.
One thing to keep in mind when looking at reaches is if there’s a significant gender split in terms of acceptance rate. For example, Vassar has the same ACT 25%-75% as whatever school you were talking about, @homerdog – 30-33. But girls’ acceptance rate is 19% and boys’ is 35%. That’s really significant. In my mind, at least, once you get below 20% there’s a lot more luck involved in getting accepted, all things being equal.
@homerdog & @wisteria100 just wanted to chime in on the list and kids going to school where other kids go.
My DS went to a small private HS with 140 kids in his grade. He too looked at kids and the schools that they were going to and wondered how he would fit into them. With admissions so whacky and unpredictable it is truly hard to know where you will and won’t get in. That being said my DS kind of wanted to go to a school that no one else was going to but when all was said and done and he looked at this options and he decided on a school where 4 of his other classmates were going. It is a medium sized school at 5,000 students about 1250 per class. He just finished his freshman year and said that if he wanted to see them he could and if he didn’t want to he didn’t have to. Believe me there are people and things for everyone no matter what you are like. Colleges do a great job of helping kids find their niche. You are about to enter into a crazy time. Hopefully things will end up exactly as your kids want them but if they don’t remember that it does all work out in the end. My DS didn’t get into his top two choices but couldn’t be happier at the school he is at now. He said if he would have known how happy he would be he would have applied ED to this school. Of course hindsight is always 20/20 :-). In the end he didn’t get into any of his reaches but all of his targets and safeties. A balanced list is key!! Good Luck to all of the 2019 families
It is very common for kids to change their minds on where they want to go school during the next 10 months. They start talking with other kids at lunch and group gatherings, and start hearing where and why kids are thinking of applying to certain schools. For some kids this might not play a major role, but my kids knew where a lot of other kids were applying to, and they based some of their submitted apps based off that knowledge. Then once kids start finding out where those kids got accepted/rejected and what they planned to do, things changed again.
My son does not really have any sort of plan at this point in time, and everything could change as Fall comes around.
I don’t think he’ll end up going to school with any of friends, but we’ll see.
@homerdog Hmmm this is a non-issue here because our '18 kids didn’t get too many compelling/exciting results that we heard about so there’s zero experience of shaping the list in response. We’ve got a small handful of kids heading to top out of state schools (CMU, Amherst, Naval Academy) but more commonly we heard about somewhat scary disappointing results. Living in California, it really is all about the state schools here and LAC applications are minimal. My D19’s cousin wanted a Southern party school and is happily heading to Alabama, which could literally be among the last schools my D19 would choose, so the overlap just isn’t happening. D19 roomed with three senior girls during their spring choir trip and those girls are gap year, community college, and what I’d consider a local private safety school, so nothing there got D’s wheels turning either. I’m kind of glad…we’re kind of lone wolves in this national LAC scene and it’s just as well. One real downside though is a clueless GC.
Hey, I have a question. Or, I’m asking for advice.
My D19 isn’t sure what she’ll major in, she loves 2 areas, and really likes a third, so it would make sense to apply as undecided. None of her possible majors would be impacted (I think? They are theater, environmental studies, and education). Only LACs at this point.
However, now I wonder if “undecided” is a ding to adcoms. They, of course, are trying to build well-rounded classes, so they’d want to make sure they have a group of X majors, a group of Y majors, etc etc. Would it be better for my kid to just put down that she’d plan to major in one of her three possibilities, even though it wouldn’t be completely honest?
@JenJenJenJen do we have to declare a major when applying to LACs? Is it a question on the Common App?
You don’t have to declare a major, but adcoms need to make sure they don’t (to be hyperbolic) accept a class that is 100% theatre majors, so, yes, I believe intended major is still a question on the Common App.
I’m dreading my first meeting with D’s GC on Wednesday. In the last couple of months she has been either very misinformed or trying to manipulate my D. As I said before D absolutely does not want to go to school in NY. Her GC told her she HAS to apply to SUNYs. Umm, what? Then she encouraged D to apply for a POSSE scholarship. POSSE is binding just like ED. That’s not so bad if D wanted to go to any of their partner schools many of which are in NY. Didn’t D tell her many times that she does not want to stay in NY? Her answer? There aren’t any NY schools on the list…Wednesday will be very interesting.
@cinn124 Maybe once she sees someone looking her right in the eye and saying “No NY, no POSSE,” she’ll get the message.
I should say though that (assuming you live in NY) it makes sense to apply to a safety in your home state, just because…one never knows what will happen between applications being sent in in the late fall, and late spring the next year. Minds change about getting out of Dodge for all sorts of reasons. 
@cinn124 Vanderbilt is NY Posse. Has she ruled them out as an option?
@peachActuary73 I don’t think she’s considering Vanderbilt. She wants to attend an OOS school preferably UCLA which is a huge reach for her. Her #2 is Georgia State which is more doable financially and academically.