Parents of the HS Class of 2019 (Part 1)

@ninakatarina Our school doesn’t even have honors chemistry or honors physics OR honors econ. Sigh. So D19 is taking standard physics and standard econ…and she still has to do two trimesters of PE which she had to put off until now. Her academics won’t be as demanding next year but she’ll have plenty to do with college apps…

@brentwoodmom There is a lot of variability in the number of schools kids apply to. If you can reasonably expect to be accepted to schools of interest, then I see no reason why you need to apply to a lot. Having said that, here in California, I did see that few-schools strategy backfiring on a few kids because our UC system seemed to be pretty stingy with acceptances out of our district.

@peachActuary73 My D19 definitely wants a combination of characteristics in a school that does not actually exist. She’s said this herself. So it’s finding the closest approximation that accepts her, I guess. Nothing in life is perfect, and life also doesn’t generally work out as planned. She’s often still at the stage of wishing her perfect school in all ways did somehow exist, which isn’t a particularly helpful impulse…

My D19 currently has 15 schools on her list but I would not say that’s the final list. For her it’s 3 high reaches, 5 low reaches, 2 matches, 3 safeties, and 2 University of Californias (hard to categorize these days – probably also low reaches). I do anticipate that she may drop up to four of those after this summer – I could see one dropping from each of those four main categories, and another UC added. I do still get tempted to ADD schools at this point, or to put schools back on that we dropped. Honestly I’m the only one who ever researches schools, including D19 herself and my DH, so it’s all me.

D19 really seems to be struggling lately with wondering if she’s got what it takes to go away to school. Which I didn’t think would happen. Two years ago she was totally content with not seeing the rest of us for a month. Our home was being remodeled, so we all went in different directions. She traveled abroad with her aunt and uncle and then lived with her grandma. This didn’t faze her at all. Maybe now that the hypothetical is getting closer to being her actual lived experience, she’s feelin’ it? And being with extended family seems easier than being a college student? I do try to tell her that even if she goes away, it’s only an 8-month academic calendar for college so she can still be home quite a bit. But I can see her turning inward lately rather than looking outward and I’m surprised. It’ll continue to play itself out as the summer and fall progress, I am sure. She’s about to spend a week living in a dorm on a college campus on the other side of the country so she’ll get some experience with it all.

Why is the June SAT so slow with results? I’m jealous of these ACT results being available already. Such an unusually long wait for this June sitting. Hmph.

I read some essay advice today I can pass along:
focus on what isn’t already apparent elsewhere in the applications (including in letters of rec),
end on an upbeat note,
show growth/change,
don’t be afraid to show flaws/failures/missteps (and relatedly, don’t be boastful),
choose something you’ll be proud of in 30 years.

On that last one, does anyone remember the topic of their college essays?? I remember snippets of mine, and I know I over-emphasized the importance in my life of a hunger retreat I’d done because I thought it made me sound cool. I think it was about poverty and my relative privilege, which sort of sounds like a contemporary theme. I wish I had my college apps again as I’m sure that would be entertaining to read…

@SunnyFlorida22 I kind of feel like people don’t talk about it because they might be shamed for letting a teen romance factor in to college choice. But I think it’s a valid consideration. Some of those relationships do last and the student might be happier and more successful at their college if they are within visiting range of their SO. I was dating DH by the time I went off to college- we saw each other every weekend and we have been married 22 years.

Heck, DD isn’t even officially dating someone, but has a friend that seems to be becoming more than a friend (which she is thrilled about), and we’re planning to visit a school that would have them just an hour apart. At that distance they could visit each other as just friends, or as a couple if that becomes a thing, or completely avoid each other if that’s how it is! Until now I haven’t told anyone that was one of the reasons we might visit since it feels kind of silly at this stage. But it’s a school that makes sense for her anyway, so why not check it out.

@homerdog - I think your S will have a lot of acceptances, but I’m guessing by next spring he will know which ones are his top four. However, if he has some early acceptances from schools he hasn’t seen, he could always do a couple of winter visits.

We are visiting UAB and UAH next week. DS19 is at UA Tuscaloosa taking classes with the Early College Summer on Campus program right now. He is doing a VIP tour there to see the engineering school and honors college right after classes end. We already toured (and he loved) Ole Miss.

We plan to swing around Nebraska and Kansas to see the flagships there. We haven’t decided yet if we can make a southwest trip to fit in Arizona or New Mexico.

We will visit our state flagship, University of Illinois, but it is likely not in the cards due to high cost. I have DS22 and DD23 to think about, and we are a full pay family. Merit will be a big factor for DS19.

@ninakatarina, that is frustrating about your son’s GC! Ours has also made mistakes with D’s schedule. The worst was when she registered D for Honors Spanish Literature rather than Honors Language. We didn’t know because they won’t release the schedules until the first day of school. D went right away to get it changed, but the administration wouldn’t let her switch (Lang was “full”). Lit was all heritage speakers preparing for AP Lit, so D ended up dropping to regular Spanish and learning absolutely nothing the whole year. GC was apologetic but couldn’t do anything about it.

That wasn’t the only mistake, so now I walk a fine line, trying to double check everything, but also remain positive with the GC because she’s writing D’s LOR (and she is a nice person).

@SDCounty3Mom, I hear you on the June 2nd SAT results. What a long wait!

OMG - great news… we got a letter yesterday letting us know that our son got named a Furman Scholar! Going down in two weeks for an official tour. He’s kind of excited and looking forward to seeing the campus.

In other college planning we have been doing a lot of soul searching with the current list and Son has decided no more tests and we are now thinking that if he gets denied at schools that “recommend” subject tests, oh well… He has a lot of good options on his list and frankly with a list at 15 he can afford to take some off. His top contenders don’t recommend subject tests and to me there is no reason to take them. He has a summer full of writing his IB extended essay and college application essays.

@Kona2012 Drive on into Greenville, about a half an HR from Furman. Smoke on the Water is a great restaurant. Congrats to your son.

Congrats! D and I loved Furman and Greenville when we visited.

@carolinamom2boys Thank you for telling me about the Scholar program. I mentioned it to Son’s GC and it went from there. We truly are excited to learn more about the area and the school.

Are there other 2019 grads looking to apply at Furman? I remember one other post about a Furman Scholar award…

You are welcome @Kona2012 . Furman is a beautiful campus at the foot of the Blue Ridge Mountains. It is about 40 mins into NC . Greenville is a great small.city. DS16 is attending an Art Camp there this summer. It would be a financial reach for us, but it’s a great school. He may end up applying depending on his camp experience.

Congrats to your son @Kona2012!

I’m hoping S19 comes up with a list of no more than 8 schools. Two in-state, 3 or 4 four OOS publics where academic merit is guaranteed/very likely, and maybe one or two private schools although I don’t think there are many that would work even with merit aid. We only have time and money to travel to so many auditions and 5 or 6 would probably be better than 8.

We’ll visit schools within a 2 or 3 hour drive - anything else he can see if/when he auditions. There are no real safeties, but it seems like kids who are comparably successful in regional auditions, etc. have pretty good results at our local public (GMU) and sometimes JMU. We’re still working on finding a true safety option.

If he wanted a different major, he would probably have a list of 3 or 4 safety and low match schools, nothing in the realm of a reach, and everything would be pretty easy.

Today I got an email from ACT offering a free test done on computer- apparently they are looking for guinea pigs to try that out. Only two locations in my state and the nearest location is offering it only on 6/24. DD will still be at camp, she hasn’t prepared, and she is really not willing to take ACT again, so I guess it’ll be a no from us. But found it interesting.

Welcome @brentwoodmom!!

D19 is done with testing. She got a 30 on this latest ACT and she’s satisfied. It’s a 2 point increase over her April score. As far as number of schools she’s applying to right now the list is at about 14. We’re visiting 5 schools in the next 3 weeks so hopefully that will whittle it down some more. Now we just wait for August to start sending apps.

As I count up the list as it currently stands, D19’s list includes: 5 reaches that would be virtually impossible, 2 actual reaches, 2 low reaches (one of which might be a match if she applied early), and 5 safeties. We seem to be struggling to find some good match schools! The only match school that was even on her list turned out to be a dud for her when we visited. Sigh.

My son was named a Furman Scholar in April and will be applying EA in the fall. It’s in our top 4!

@SDCounty3Mom- We are waiting on June SAT results too. So frustratingly long.

@sunnyflorida - My husband has the opposite concern. Our S19 and D20 have both never really dated anyone. They both have dates to all the dances, etc. but neither have a desire to get involved with someone while they are in high school. I appreciate that, but my husband worries that they will go through their first real breakup/heartache while they are away from us in college. It would be nice to help them navigate some of that while they are still home. I guess parents will worry whatever they do.

@Kona2012 Congratulations! I love Furman!

He was also named a Wofford scholar which is also in our top 4. I highly recommend checking out Wofford on your next Furman visit. It’s about a 30 minute drive but totally worth it.

@lizzo4477 Congratulations!

No free offer of a computer-based ACT test here for S19. I totally might consider having him do it if it were offered:).

@SunnyFlorida22 Hmm…I’d say if a relationship if really meant to be, it can withstand separate campuses, esp in this era of texting, social media, FaceTime, etc. My brother’s gf followed him to his school the year after he chose it, and of course they broke up. Same thing happened to a good friend of mine. Meanwhile my BIL and his high school sweetheart went to school 2000 miles apart and stayed together and are married. So you never know. Seems like they have their whole lives to make decisions as one half of a couple, and college/late adolescence is a good time to just be your own person for a while. One of my D19’s choir friends was asked if she’s going to the same school as her bf and she said “No!! I’m way smarter than he is.” Go girl! I imagine by the time you get to April next year, the decision parameters will have shifted. My D19 has not dated and I don’t really see that changing in HS so this is a non-issue here. Meanwhile S21’s first girlfriend (of four whole months – hee hee) broke up with him over text yesterday and he did cry a little but then…was totally back to himself within a couple of hours. Ah, young love…

@Kona2012 What a great summertime boost for your son! Congrats!

@soxmom True match schools have been hard to find for my D too. She’s basically over-qualified stats-wise for many schools and under-qualified stats-wise for many schools. The two I’m calling her match schools are below her stats but have acceptance rates (around 50%) lower than her likely-admits (70-90% for her stats) so I don’t want to call them likely-admits. I think her true ability and intellectual level is well-suited for schools in her low-reach category. I’m hoping if she applies to 4 or 5 in that category, she’ll end up with a nice option or two there.

I’m still doing some 180’s and I tell myself this is okay because it’s June, not October. But we keep saying that a University of California school isn’t well suited to D19, but then today I spent a good hour looking into UC Santa Cruz as a possible match school for her to put on the list. I realized it’s much smaller than the other campuses she’s considering, (30K vs only 17K!) so maybe closer to her vibe. And gosh, Santa Cruz…lovely place. I don’t know…the fact that I can still 180 at this point is a bit disconcerting. Meanwhile where is actual D19? She’s at a water park all day with her cousin. Definitely she has been aflutter since school got out and has really not come down to earth yet, which I guess is okay. She deserves some R&R…