Congrats @Trixy34 on the WL offer!
@SJ2727 Itās really unfair to the kids. And the school could address it by finding a way to recognize more kids. Two kids in the top 10 have committed suicide just in the 4 years we have been there.
@Trixy34 Congrats on Vandy! That is so exciting but I would imagine itās stressful to be revisiting your decision right now.
We live in Nashville. Happy to answer any questions you might have about the area.
And if you or anyone else with a child going to Vandy needs a local contact while they are here, feel free to PM me for my number.
@brentwoodmom - thanks. It will be a tough decision for sure. On the one hand, Vanderbilt was always his 2nd choice (after Brown, where he was denied), but he has really kind of fallen in love with HWS. I think weāre all already envisioning him there, and he was asking the other day when heās going to get to register for classes. It almost feels custom-made for him. i just have concerns about it being too small and isolated. On the other hand, I am concerned Vandy would be too big and impersonal for him since he really could use some guidance/mentoring in exploring all his interests. And I canāt see him in large intro lectures. I think he would really thrive with small, intimate classes. Ugh - so hard! (I think itās clear I have a preference - lol!)
Ahh - what a great decision to have @Trixy34 - congratulations!
@RightCoaster Those stories drive me nuts - how could one kid even like 110 schools?!
They canāt. And all that scholarship money isnāt really won, IMO, since the amounts for each will vary and be contingent on her attending specific colleges. They way they all phrase the amount she won makes it sound like she has that full amount to go and which school she chooses. It annoys me.
I donāt even understand how someone could apply and be accepted to 115 different schools. What guidance counselor would even permit that? Ours certainly wouldnāt. The media glorifying this girl just feeds into this whole admissions craziness.
@brentwoodmom Our local public school is a competitive one and suicide has become epidemic here-one/year for a number of years now. They are trying to get some support and awareness programs underway but it is tragic to even feel that need. I would be interested to hear of any initiatives in your district that may seem to be valuable. There is a movie on Amazon Prime called āChangeoverā which faces the topic of suicide and itās impact on those left behind.
I realize this probably warrants its own thread. I will start one after I check to see if there is one already.
@Trixy34 Congratulations!
Iām pretty sure those stories about kids applying to an insane number of schools are publicity stunts done by the high schools to draw media attention to their programs.
D19 turned in her DE poli sci take-home exam this afternoon, which was the last piece of any of her HS classes (last day of class for seniors at her high school was yesterday), and this evening played her last concert ever with the local youth orchestra (thereās no high-school-level honor orchestra in our school district, so this is the local equivalent). She said it hit her halfway through the concert that she was actually done with everything related to high school save the graduation, and started to be sad and freaked out until she realized that wait, thatās a good thing, and then everything was cool again.
Re awards nights: Our school has been tweaking over the years and making IMO positive changes. They have separate athletic signing nights and now āacademic signing nights.ā Our academic achievement night is invitation only, and includes all four grades, I think itās purposely under the radar a bit so others donāt feel left out. (This is the one where the kids introduce each other). They do put all of the onus on the students to report scholarships, RSVP, etcā¦parents just get an invitation. After that, there is a second part for local scholarship awards, and kids are advised ahead of time if they have won. We do seem to have a common problem where the same couple of kids are winning all of the local scholarships, kids that are more āknownā (which means introverts or non athletes are often left out), but Iām not sure what the answer is there when these are all separate local entities making the decisions.
@dowzerw , Re pressure, there is a documentary āRace To Nowhereā that deals with this. It was a game changer for me after I saw it. But the problem as we all know is not just parental attitudes, it is multifaceted and needs attention from schools, colleges, society, cultureā¦etc. The private school where I watched it (my kids do not attend there) has made some changes such as not offering AP classes, doing away with class rankings.
@TS0104 Race To Nowhere was a thing here maybe five years ago. Not sure what happened with that since it made no impact and all and no one talks about it anymore. Ugh. Here, I think the pressure stems from the parents when the kids are in middle school and before parents know the realities of elite admissions. Once they get to high school, the kids are already stressed out about college admissions.
If a student fills out whatās equivalent to the black common app they can apply to multiple schools for a set fee. Thatās how some can apply to so many schools at once. The girl who the article was written about is a first gen, minority student looking for merit. Very different than most CC posters.
@TS0104 Thank you. I will seek out that film. I donāt know what the answer is but we have to figure out how to dial it back.
@homerdog , certainly the impression I got when we arrived in this schooling system, from the parent info sessions just before high school started. Many local parents are alumni of Cal and Stanford, and a good number of Ivies. One of D19ās friends whose mom went to an HPY Ivy is apparently very disappointed that her D19 got no Ivy or even top 40 offers ā¦ I think itās horrible anyway to show your kid you are so disappointed in themā¦ this student used to get grounded when grades fell below an A. That kind of pressure is just insane imo. The school has been trying to communicate to parents how crazy admissions are now - you would think being told āno UCs are safeties for anyoneā (albeit a slight exaggeration) would help get the message through - but no.
Itās still feeling strange to be done with the college search process. It was such a long ordeal with so many details to keep organized, so many reminders, stacks and stacks of mailings, so many deadlines, essays, financial documents, so much waiting. And then thatās done! And now facing the reality of him leaving and a forever change in our relationship is tough. We have the last sports banquet ever tonight. Of course itās all supposed to happen and of course Iām very happy and thankful about the college plan. But Iām sad too, and all the memories are hitting me, especially after attending the first grad party of the season this past weekend. IB exams start today so weāre in the home stretch.
AP test week this week and next week. Had his final wind ensemble performance last week, as well as the STEM Academy Capstone project expo (was really neat, these kids have amazing ideas). Lots of things coming up for end of year, planning grad celebration lunch, ordering announcements (getting some photo ones from shutterfly, the plain ones from school didnāt ādo itā for us and they were REALLY expensive). Our graduation isnāt until June 15, so have time, but itās slipping by fast. Heās been dragging feet about a few things that Iāll nag him about once APās are done (thank you letters for some outside scholarships, get his picture submitted for his University ID card, etc).
We did the spring break trip to Huntsville and scouted out some great comic shops with gaming tournaments, good restaurants, toured the US Space and Rocket Center, etc. It was a good trip. Going back late June for Orientation, then family vacation and cruise. Then August 14 we leave to get him moved in (giving ourselves an extra day to pick up stuff/shop/etc in town before actual move-in day).
Going to be strange having an empty nest in a few months.
@elena13 Iām feeling the same way. Itās tough. Itās so time for S to be making his own way in the world and immersing himself in his own college experience, but I choke up every time I come across receipts, notes, books, and pictures from the last 4 years as spring clean. And donāt get me started re the photo albums from younger years!
Today while cleaning the ādiningā room table (really the homework, mail and whatnot table), I came across the āgoing awayā notes written by Sās classmates in his overseas intermin trip over winter term (his HS has trimesters). They passed around a sheet of paper and wrote notes for everyone. Were they writing about my S?? All the notes had a comment about āyou SO funnyā or āyou are the most hilarious person I have every metā. Huh. I did not know that about S. Just when I think I have this ābeing a parentā thing kind of worked out, I get surprised by something new. That my S has a very different personality with his peers is not surprising but kind of ā¦ I canāt think of the right adjective. I want to say ālonelyā actually though that seems like a weird adjective for this.
@liska21 well thanks for that anecdote. Now Iām tearing up too. I think the feeling is a little lonely. Itās knowing they have a life separate from us. All good, of course, and healthy but tough on us. S19 has always been close to us and I hope he remains so, but heās been so busy these last couple of weeks and so social that we have barely seen him. He gave me a quick review of prom weekend and a few details but I know a thousand things happened last prom weekend that we will never know. Itās so exciting for them to be moving on and I really am so happy for him, but heās going on to do all of this cool stuff and weāll be still be living the same life! I have to keep reminding myself that I already went to college and enjoyed it quite a bit. Itās his turn now. I really need to start thinking about things my husband and I want to do once the kids are gone. Iām not yet sold on this new stage of life.
This sums it up pretty well. I think Iāll use this when people ask me about being an āempty nesterāāwhich is every single time I mention that S is the 3rd and last.
P.S. The students didnāt have typos and grammatical errors in their notes. I guess I couldnāt see what I wrote because my eyes were foggy for some reason.