The other poster wasn’t talking about final cost - they were talking about their child not knowing the list price of the schools.
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A couple of talks completely changed how S24 viewed the merit he has received from colleges.
We got very lucky with timing and front loaded 529s for both our kids in 2009 right after rock bottom. We told both our kids that their 529s could cover the cost of any college they picked. But we also told them that the 529 money was their money and anything left over after college was theirs to use for house downpayment, vacations, retirement etc.
So now S24 is weighing COA after merit for each school and calculating how much money he will have left over carefully.
The other conversation that seemed to make an impression was right after S24 was a bit bummed that his favorite school so far is not really a reach school. He was complaining that he probably could have gotten in without studying so hard for 3 years. I pointed out to him that he had “earned” the highest merit possible at many of these schools with his hard work. Realizing that someone had paid him 150k because of his hard work has really filled him with pride. The first thing he now considers for his college acceptances is the merit.
I will be very curious if the 80k/year price tag will weigh into his decision if he gets into the one reach school where he is unlikely to get merit but loves the program.
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I don’t think this just applies to T20s. It seems to make sense that anyone’s “reach” school is less likely to give them merit, or as much merit, as a target or safety. D24 got into her nonT20 reach with some merit. Then she got “real” merit at a target. We made sure her reach was “ok” full pay, so happy she got in, but yeah once that cat was out of the bag the others offers have not persuaded her yet.
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TBH her first reaction was like a deer in headlights and she didn’t want her dad to know in case he “made her go there.” And this is a school we all really liked in the spring. We kind of danced around it that night and just said she got “a very generous offer”. He took the hint and hasn’t asked for specifics😂. It does help that her reach also has a lot of pluses that the other school doesn’t including an admit in her major.
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Beebee—make sure you leave people room for their own choices. I have 1/7 of what some people have mentioned as savings for college.The paths people choose for themselves and their kids are manifold. I don’t judge—I celebrate college!
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I love the concept of calculating what the merit college is offering to pay for the kid’s work . . . also going on the talking points memo!
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Same here. We told our kids that we will pay for 4 yr of COA of an in-state university and they’re on their own to pay for grad school.
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Somebody earlier mentioned a spreadsheet to keep track of comparisons of the after-financial aid/scholarships COA…I’ve got one, too. Helps a lot to show my kid and the DH when he (DH) asks me a million times how much do I think it’s going to cost. 
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D24 is interested in law. We told her we’ll full pay if she gets into a T14 (maybe T20) law school. Too much stress in law to also worry about student debt.
If she cant get into a T20 law school, we’re advising her not to go. Way too many lawyers and if you dont go to a T20-ish school, you basically need to be on law review and graduate near the top of your class to get into Big Law.
And she wants to make money so if she doesnt get into Big Law, the ROI on law school just isnt worth it.
Bottom line, if she can make it, we’re paying 100%.
I definitely missed the mark with my comment, because I wasn’t trying to judge how much anyone has to spend on college. As I said earlier today:
I really was shocked at the idea of a student not knowing the list cost of the schools they are currently waiting to hear back from. That’s why I also said that is one of the powers of CC, to learn of other people’s experiences. It was a good reminder to me that everyone approaches this process from their own specific viewpoint. I was pointing out my own lack of imagination in that moment.
Every family is making the choices that best suit the parents and the child. And I wish for every student waiting to be excited about this next big step - college!
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I’ve been recruited by D24 to play a role in the short play she’s written for her Shakespeare class…her classmates are apparently coming over on Friday of next week to record it. I have 6 lines and have to dress up as a servant and have to speak to Leontes in this scene which is a modern version of part of The Winter’s Tale. 
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Private schools, at least the T20s will almost always give you more money than what FAFSA says you deserve. FAFSA told us that we don’t qualify for any FA, but D23 received grants from Cornell, Duke, Princeton and others that covered more than 50% of the respective college’s total cost of attendance… so there’s hope. We couldn’t have afforded the full price tag. Don’t say no to a school before you can find out what they’ll offer you. Good luck to everyone.
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Was talking this afternoon with neighbor across the street, whose granddaughter is in her last semester at ASU. The student is some sort of medical technology major and apparently has been frustrated with how almost all of her major’s classes have been entirely online except for labs (which are in person).
I’ve heard of similar issues at U of A also.
Honestly, that sort of format is absolutely not going to work for my kid and she knows it. DH and I know it, too.
Neighbor said what I was thinking, which was, “For how much they’re paying for Granddaughter to attend there, you’d think that you could at least take classes in person.” I was telling DH this evening about what Neighbor said…we both feel that it’s definitely a detractor right now for D24’s in-state options.
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I would talk to the schools about your specific possible majors. That may be and is likely not be the norm.
My boss has a daughter at ASU. She has several online classes. I feel the same way as your neighbor.
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Thanks. My D24 didn’t apply to the honors college (and I am okay with that; she couldn’t find the value in it). That is interesting that the housing fee is due before the first admitted student day. I highly doubt she will know for sure that weekend where she will be going to college.
The only schools that haven’t announced that their admitted student day is University of San Diego.
Loyola Marymount just posted a bunch of dates for April so that is very helpful. Thankfully that is driving distance for us.
I think she said USC is 4/7.
Every other school she has applied to is on April 13th (and has no alternate dates):
SDSU
Cal Poly SLO
UCLA
Cal Berkeley
Long Beach State
Santa Clara University
Right now she has SDSU scheduled for 4/13. If she gets into Cal Poly SLO, Cal, or UCLA that will most likely change. As much as she liked Santa Clara on her initial tour/visit we aren’t sure the scholarship they offered her is enough so it is kind of on the back burner until all of the other offers are in.
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S24 got an announced snow day today (first in two years), so was happy and chatty last night. So, some unusually lengthy discussions . . . .
On merit: “I am not trying to not get merit!” Disturbing use of double negative, but I will take what I can get. Still, definitely seemed a little dismissive of ANY possibility of merit or honors college. He could be right, of course, but this does seem to me like an opportunity for a positive surprise.
On how he currently ranks his schools: Truly doesn’t know. He didn’t sound like he was stressed with indecision, he is more just open-minded. Accordingly, I am quite happy for him–I think he is appropriately looking forward to loving the ones that love him back.
On possible visits: Suggested it was pretty good that we had managed to visit 11 of his 15 (fair point), but agreed visits to any of those 4 which admit him might be necessary, and also possibly re-visits as an admitted student. Sounds like Future S24 is also potentially going to be scrambling depending on what happens, but I am sure Future Self will help him figure it out.
And in fact, Future Mom (wait, that sounds wrong, let me be clear I am not planning to switch things up) wants to join admitted visits. D30 might get dragged around a bit, but I pointed out she could probably stay with a school friend.
Very positive overall! Now we just have to wait . . . .
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That’s great! We are in a similar position vis-a-vis school preference. S24 does have one school at the top (which was in contention for ED) but after that there are many that he really, really likes, including his most likely school. I think he’s been pretty careful not to fall in love knowing odds aren’t great at some of the schools so we’ve avoided the “dream” school syndrome.
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11 of 15 is great. We hit 11 that D23 applied to as well. Once acceptances started coming in in March 2023 (ED deferral, no ED2 application, 2 safety acceptances before March, no definitive favorite other than the ED which eventually became a rejection), she was able to whittle pretty instantaneously to 7 options she liked, then 6, then 5 top choices before we made April visits. It was tricky but a good problem to have, and we were happy she had those options and that we took those trips together - she, her Dad, and I.
It was partly tough for us because we couldn’t drive easily to any of her top choices, and we couldn’t afford airfares that weren’t planned at least somewhat ahead. So she’d get an acceptance to a school she would seriously consider depending on what else might happen later in the month, but we couldn’t wait 2 weeks to book the flight…and the town might have few lodging options so we wanted to reserve something, knowing all along that the next weekend we might have more options and reconsider everything. I recall booking a trip to Grinnell (partly trying to ramp up the excitement for it as a possibility), then cancelling all those plans once she was accepted to Smith (she wanted an open curriculum school to consider and preferred Smith). We booked everything for Bowdoin right after that acceptance only to cancel it after she was accepted to a school she felt somewhat similar but a better fit overall. Book. Cancel. Book. Cancel.
In the end, we made 3 trips in April to see 4 schools. It was too hard to fit in a revisit to one of her top 5, but we did revisits to 2, and we visited 2 she hadn’t seen before. Flying back from Pomona, we were supposed to have 2 days at home before leaving for the final trip (another flight, different direction), but we had mechanical problems on United out of Ontario, missed the connection, stood for hours in airport lines in Denver to get vouchers and rebooked on a new flight, slept for a few hours in an airport hotel, and had ~24 hours to unpack, adjust to time difference, do the laundry (D went to school, of course), and repack before heading to the airport again. Memories! (Oh, and in between all the trips, she still squeezed in some virtual sessions, too). It was nuts and exhausting but also great.
We wished we could have planned logistics better to do all the New England schools in one trip, but the schools didn’t plan their Admitted Student Days in a way to make that possible. They also didn’t always announce when Admitted Student Days would be until late enough that it was hard to plan well. We did revisit Smith without doing their official day, and it was fine as we’d already been there before. She was able to sit in on a class and go to lunch with a student. But for her, it wasn’t anything like getting to know a lot of other prospective students at the schools where she did the official Admitted Student Day events (which I’m sure can vary in terms of how helpful they are…she was lucky to go a a few really good ones). She prioritized Admitted Student Day events for schools she hadn’t seen before and for schools where she was wanting to meet more people in order to assess fit.
It might be a wild April for you but also, then, wonderful. (and you may not live as far from the schools that will need a visit…well, except for Scotland).
As one more data point, I have an extended family member who is a professor for one of these schools in Political Science, and he teaches his classes online and no longer even lives in Arizona.
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Yeah, in-person instruction is definitely in the “must have” list. DH described the online thing at ASU and U of A as “It’s almost like they’re trying to move as many people through the factory as possible in order to squeeze more money out of us all.” It’s definitely a big negative for our family.
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