Not really. I figure we will do more if/when kid gets in OR is considering one as an ED school. I am very impressed by the people who have time/energy to ALSO schedule class visits and connecting with students for all the schools.
My kid is also not applying to uber-selective schools with a high # of extra essays so I am OK with them applying to a few extra if still unsure if they should apply at app time. (Note, I realize extra app fees are a financial barrier for some and that attitude is a privilege).
You cracked me up with your son’s description of Va Tech. When you said he doesn’t like a college because it’s gray, I immediately thought, “sounds like Va. Tech”. Back in the 90s, my dad (a UVA alum) took me to see VT on a cold winter morning. It was sleeting and the buildings as well as the sky were GRAY. While the school hasn’t been a military academy for a long time, they unfortunately have stuck with that aesthetic. Needless to say, I went to UVA instead. (This was back in the 90s when we all applied to like 2-3 schools tops because we had to fill out all those paper applications on a typewriter LOL)
We typically just did the tour/info session. Grabbed a meal in town if we had time. IME, once you have that foundation, it’s easy to dig deeper via online resources.
We are taking “educational trip” days to do tour/interviews during school days when the colleges have them available. We have a kid who can’t miss more than one rehearsal weekend, either. It’s definitely a crazy schedule to maintain!
@PurpleSunset24 - thank you for the offer (and your comments on my other post). I really appreciate the assistance. I think he could be really happy at Clemson - I just want him to have a few more options there. What was your major back in the day? He and i are attacking this from opposite directions - he’s picking schools that he likes, then looking to see what kind of major choices he would have there. So for example his top three choices right now are Chapel Hill, Clemson, and Pitt - and he’d have three different majors at each (geography, construction science and management, and urban planning, respectively). If it’s me, I think about what do I want to do the most, then find the school where that’s strong, but that’s just not the way his head is working right now.
@murray93 - my only suggestion re: Lehigh/Bucknell/Lafayette is if you aren’t comfortable with the total cost, check the common data set and see how much merit aid they give and to how many students. When my older son (HS class of 22) applied to Lehigh, they were giving merit aid only to a very small number of students. The high price tag was why he ultimately didn’t accept there (it had been his first choice school). If you go visit, check out the Lehigh library, it is ridiculously beautiful.
@illneversaynever - we did two different things. At two colleges, we were able to do the general info session and tour + something more. At one school it was an admissions session just for their college - it was only 4 prospective students and it was very intimate and provided great information. At the other it was a tour of the academic building for just architecture students, this was a mistake - I thought it was a tour for students interested in the College of Architecture, Art, and Construction Science - it was only for architecture students. Even though the majority of the information on this small tour wasn’t relevant to us, it was still nice to see the personalized attention that that sub-college provided to their students, and we were able to ask the tour guide some more directed questions at the end. I think these extra sessions added a good bit of personalization that made it easier to imagine ourselves there. We also managed to eke out two individual tours that friends or friends of friends provided - I think those helped for the same reason, it made it easier to get a more personalized vibe of the school. That said, I don’t think it’s necessary. One of the schools where we had nothing extra is my son’s top choice. But there during the info session they had four students who shared their insights, and we had a particularly strong tour guide. Of course, you have no control over the info session or tour guide. I guess I’m just saying all this to say that while I think additional stuff can be helpful, it’s not necessary. It’s really more about just trying to imagine yourself there, and different people can do that in different ways. Also, if i come up with a magic carpet or magic caffeine drip, will let you know.
@VTMom03 Right? IT’S SO GRAY. And we saw it on a beautiful sunny day. Actually, he thought it looked better the next morning when it was overcast and had rained earlier because “the light didn’t bounce of the walls so much and make them look blindingly huge and gray”. Sigh. I was hoping that just ONE of my kids would fall in love with a state school. (Signed a W&M alum, which isn’t even ON the list…)
That is a good point — he has a fully funded 529 account (thanks to a family member) with no strings attached. But with costs inching up toward $100k I should probably double check. He is also a recruited athlete but I highly doubt much is given for athletics at these schools, particularly track.
Thanks for the heads up. We live in a somewhat isolated area, getting to another one can prove to be quite time consuming and expensive.
FWIW, my older son was being recruited to row at Lehigh. Had quite a bit of interest from the coaches, spent significant time with them when we went to visit. They had us do an academic pre-read and a financial aid pre-read over the summer. Heard back that the academics were no problem (I’d hope not, he was a straight A student taking an intense honors and AP course load, with a 1540 SAT) but I had to laugh at our financial aid pre-read info. The letter came back and said that we wouldn’t qualify for need based aid and, furthermore, we STILL wouldn’t qualify for need based aid when my younger child started college. I had to appreciate the honesty. D3 schools don’t give athletic scholarships per se, but I had hoped that would be a finger on the scale to get us some merit aid, but it just wasn’t. Also, in case this is relevant for you or anyone else - at least back in 2021 when older son was doing applications Lehigh used the CSS profile, which is more detailed than the FAFSA. One part of the questions asked for the tax assessed value of your home then asked how much you owed on your mortgage. We bought our house a long time ago and have been lucky to have it appreciate since then. I knew as soon as I answered those questions we wouldn’t be getting any need-based aid.
Our experience was from four years back so I can relate mostly vibes, but we liked all three schools. Campuses were all beautiful in their own way. DW and DS liked Lafayette… Our tour guide felt earnest and laidback, Byerly was still president and we had heard good things. I know they were trying to get larger at the time, but it felt the most LAC-like of the three. Facilities looked great. Also have a colleague that went there and then later Caltech who enjoyed their time there. Easton is right there and was fun to dine at.
On the day we visited Bucknell, the tour guide and the students were very friendly and felt a tad style conscious (at least more than Lehigh and a notch more than Lafayette) and you can make of that what you will , with the caveat that it was just one visit. A larger student body and applying to a given college did bring up questions of access to certain non-major classes. The answer was yes there’s access but the priorities are where you’d think they’d be: with the students within each given college. They aimed for collaboration between business and engineering they said. I liked them but was only so-so to DS (who also ran when he was in HS). I liked their campus a lot and despite being way out there, I found restaurants I liked, so didnt think much of it.
Lehigh was architecturally the prettiest, campus built on terraced levels. The students felt the most “pragmatic” there out of the three… I can’t explain why; perhaps it was our tour guide. The school was experiencing a rise in popularity, and they wanted people to know it. They laid it on a little too strong for my taste, but I thought the school and the students were fine and I would have gone there without issue.
Anyway, all three are D1 so that is a little different in feel from the D3 LACs we were otherwise looking at. And Lehigh being the largest felt that way, but not by too much. The cafeterias felt a bit more crowded but lively.
I thought the schools were comparable academically, although it felt people thought that should be ranked Lehigh, Bucknell, then Lafayette. But I’d say mostly interchangeable based on students’ comments about workload.
I’m annoyed at myself because I can’t figure out how to edit my comment on the phone… just wanted to clarify that I mentioned D3 with regard to Lehigh because their men’s crew team (which my guy was being recruited for) isn’t a D1 team, they compete against D3 teams (or at least did then). This isn’t the case for other sports there, just the weird one my kid was playing…
May I ask who owns/administrates the account? If it’s not you, proceed with caution. I’ve seen too many cautionary tales on parent fb groups where people thought there were no strings attached, but in the end there were. (ie grandparent didn’t approve of the school, or major, or gender identity, or…whatever and wouldn’t release the funds.)
Most of it’s there in S25’s name already. D20 graduates college next month and D22 is a sophomore in college, they both go to LACs of their choosing and no hiccups so far.
Curious how many times have you seen this and are people sharing this with you personally? or do you mean on boards?
I have literally never heard of a grandparent doing this Are they suddenly keeping the money and using for other things? Did they have changes in life circumstances and need money? Are they just jerks? so confused how a grandparent could do this to their kids and grandkids (in any large number).
From personal experience with a trust (not a 529), I had the proverbial rich uncle who set up a trust for me and my siblings to go any school we wanted. He then passed away my freshman year of college, and his daughter became the trustee, and she had very different ideas of how it should be run.
Not completely analogous but I think some caution is warranted when counting on money that is not officially yours.
I have absolutely nothing exciting to add to this conversation. Just piping in to say good morning, I have a work thing that I’m really frustrated with so I’m 100% putting it off, and I’d like to just procrastinate by doing more random college research and planning.
However, since I do at least try to model responsible adult behavior, I guess I should probably just do the thing. But note, I’ll probably be lurking around today trying to find a distraction, so thank you in advance should you happen to provide one! (Signed, do as I say and not as I do…)
I’ve seen at least 3 separate families (that I do not know personally) with variations on a theme post their stories on facebook, and typically replies to their post include other examples.
Personally, my FIL cashed out my older kid’s grandparent-owned 529 during senior year of high school. His new wife told him not to give my kid the money for college, and instead to spend it on themselves. Money we thought we had coming vanished. Thankfully, we had our own 529 we were funding as well, and the Grandparent-owned 529 we “lost” was just under $50k.
My MIL, who started the fund when my eldest was born, died a few years ago and FIL stopped funding the 529 at that point. It was sitting there accruing, and the new wife didn’t know about the 529 until DH asked his father for info on how to access the money and FIL must’ve discussed it with his new wife at that point.
Lesson learned. It doesn’t matter if your kid’s name/ss is listed as the beneficiary of a 529; they have no legal claim to that money. The account owner can do with the money as they wish (paying a penality for using it on non-qualified expenses.)
Hey all - new to this group and I’m looking forward to having a space to share with other parents supporting their kids on this journey.
S25 is our eldest. He’s a solid student and is carrying a rigorous course load, super social and easy-going kid, OK test taker (if he’d study more that would probably help), and his main EC is athletics. He’s interested in poli-sci in particular, maybe econ or business (he’s not sure). He’s a dual-sport athlete (one is a niche sport), and he would love to do one of his sports in college if he can. His list is kind of all over the map, literally and figuratively, as a result. Having to adjust his expectations and hopes on the athletic front has been hard, and that may change again, since his spring season doesn’t even get underway until 1-2 weeks from now.
We’re taking advantage of our April school break for a family trip to DC. He’s got tours lined up at American, GWU, and Georgetown (we all know this is a pie-in-the-sky reach, but we’ll be there, so why not). Growing up in a really rural place has made him feel like he wants to get out of here, but we’re not convinced he understands what going to school in a city would actually look like. Should be an interesting trip. Some of the other spots he’s considering include Furman, Clemson, UNH, UVM, Middlebury (visited earlier this winter), William & Mary, Colby, Fordham, and a few other very reachy spots - getting him to look at the safeties and targets has been a challenge!
We’ve been dealing with what I would call some early senioritis around here because most of his friends are graduating this year. It’s not impacting his grades thankfully - just his overall mood. After months of discussion and considering all the options, we’ve agreed to let him transfer schools for senior year. It’s a gamble for sure, but we’ve come to realize that the pros of transferring outweigh the risks. He’ll have access to rigorous in-person classes instead of relying on online (and isolating) classes to fill in what his tiny school just cannot provide. It is going to be a slog to get him to the end of this school year though, now that he knows he can transfer. We’ve reminded him not to burn any bridges!
that is fair! There is a lot of nuance and context and I was focusing on grandparents as most people I know are in that situation. (I do know someone with a random great-aunt that had put aside some money, but pretty small so that is an anchoring bias).
I just find it a bit odd to hear from others “watch out for your parents/grandparents, it is quite possibly they are going to let you down” which is how it read to me. I also think most adults (and this is a parents board) have a decent idea who is likely trustworthy or not in their life, if not they have bigger problems IMO.
Yeah, for the most part it works out, and obviously the people closest to the situation will know better than random internet strangers. But… there are times when things are good, until they aren’t.
(This was back in the 90s when we all applied to like 2-3 schools tops because we had to fill out all those paper applications on a typewriter LOL)
Are they suddenly keeping the money and using for other things? Did they have changes in life circumstances and need money? Are they just jerks? so confused how a grandparent could do this to their kids and grandkids (in any large number).
(Signed, do as I say and not as I do…)