Absolutely she should audition! You miss all the shots you don’t take.
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Totally agree. We’re facing a difference in philosophy around college in our extended family. The cousins are focused on the tangible value of the degree and finding programs that meet specific theoretical goals for what kind of professional future they may have (as in, are they going to take on the family business or start out fresh on their own path). I am trying a little harder to balance the financial commitment with the personal belief that college is still a time for exploration and growth, not necessarily prep for a singular career. So much of this difference in approach is I think sometimes borne of our forgetting that it is the student’s journey, not ours. Yes, we have to work within financial realities and yes, he may make a bad decision (or two or three or four..), but ultimately, it’s his journey, and I as the parent am here to support the process of figuring out what comes after high school, but not necessarily to define the outcome/type of school/career/major.
So, @2plustrio, you’ve got this!
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My S25 has been back to school for just about a month. He’s had his share of ups and down with friend groups and last night he said he’s just “done” with high school. He can’t wait to go to college. While I’m glad he’s excited for the next step, I also can’t help but feel a little sad that he seems to be wishing this year away. I’m sure it’s normal but he’s still got 10 months here.
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I can empathize. Same situation here. And mine is looking at colleges where extremely few of her HS classmates will attend.
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My D23 had a horrible last semester of high school. Drama with a best friend and a boyfriend that blew up her whole friend group of many years. I used to hear her just sobbing in her room at night, her prom date bailed on her, she wasn’t invited to grad parties for kids she’d been friends with for years, it was the worst time as a parent I’ve ever had and the worst time of her young life.
That said, she LOVES college. I’m actually hoping she loves it a little less this year and works a little harder but she’s having the time of her life. There are such brighter days ahead for your S25, and having him get excited about college I think is a positive in the long run. My only advice having been there is that it does get so much better. 
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OMG - that is heartbreaking and I’m sure it was so difficult as the parent. I know everything is temporary but sometimes it doesn’t feel like it in the moment. So so glad your daughter is thriving after all of that.
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What’s the selection criteria for NMSF?
The Selection Index (SI), which is calculated from a student’s 11th-grade PSAT score: Twice the reading/writing score plus the math score, all divided by ten. (So, if a kid got a 710RW/690M their SI would be 211, while if a kid got a 690RW/710M their SI would be 209.)
Qualification as NMSF uses cutoff thresholds set on a state-by-state basis (with special rules for DC, territories, students abroad, and students at boarding schools), set so that NMSF standing is awarded proportionally by the number of high school graduates each state produces. This results in different cutoffs for each state, often related to what proportion of 11th graders actually take the PSAT.
(There are other methods of qualifying for students who can’t take the PSAT in 11th grade, but those are special cases.)
Compass Prep seems to be the go-to source for prognostication about cutoffs and historical information/trends—here’s their page for the Co2025, which they update as new news comes in (read: most recently in April, though there’ll be new stuff there very soon, I’m sure).
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OK, as you know we’ve been all over the map with schools and a strategy. Here I am talking about ownership of the process, and wondering how far along he is on filling out the basic common app info, blah blah blah… And what did I just get? An email request to sign the ED forms for one of the schools on his list… It is one of the schools he’s been in conversation with a coach about his sport, but I was under the impression that he was not a priority recruit and that he had decided to cast a wider net, sports or no sports.
Of course, I’m not signing until we have our planned sit-down to review what he’s got cooking on the common app. We’ve beaten the dead horse about any school at which he would do his sport needing to pass the “broken leg test”, and that there is no backing out of ED for him should he be accepted, with or without coach support, and that he’d be closing the doors to other options. And at the same time, he informed us last night he has been working on supplemental essays for super reach schools. Time to get a handle on the strategy - yikes. All this after he got a mini-lecture from his over-stretched dad about how to be organized.
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We just embarked on a big experiment: allowing our son to stay by himself while we were out of town for over a week (he did go away with a friend for Labor Day weekend). (I should mention that he had the option to stay with a friend for the whole week but really wanted to try flying solo. So we let him.)
Things I learned: he needed a dry run for getting up in time for school w/out us hovering in the background. Fortunately this dry run was for his exec function skills coach on Sunday (oh, the irony…)
You can buy this kid apples, carrots, and even cut up a watermelon for him. But like horses led to water (unlike horses offered apples and carrots)…you cannot force him to partake. No roughage was consumed during this experiment.
The garbage got taken out! The dishes did not get done.
The house was moderately but not extremely messy. We walked in and there were eggs and butter on the counter; sandwich bread left open and going stale; the remnant of a donut wrapped in a napkin on the floor.
But he survived. We didn’t get any phone calls from school. He even managed to finish “As I Lay Dying” and get 19/20 on the test. So…YAY!
He also (thank you, universe) didn’t get hired for that tutoring job that he applied for. And he was kind of relieved. As cool as it would have been for him to have the experience of working and getting paid for it, I don’t think the geometry worked – there just aren’t enough focused hours in the day (for him).
Now if only he could sort out his college list, finish the summer school courses, and get to bed before midnight…
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Looks like 214 for Alaska and 220 for Illinois @chicagoshannon.
Alaska and South Carolina went up 5 points. That is pretty crazy.
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Those are great questions and things to think about; thank you for putting them out here! At the risk of diving into dance minutiae (if your eyes glaze over, feel free to skip this post), let me answer some questions.
if she chooses college right now, she’s basically shutting the door on a dance career, isn’t she?
This answer is a bit challenging. The historical view for classical ballet is that kids went straight from high school to companies. I think that is still true for the most talented (read: you win Prix de Lausanne, etc), but it is slowly changing, and if you end up at one of the top 4 ballet schools (Utah, Oklahoma, IU, and Butler) I think you can still dream.
If you want to do contemporary dance, many, many more dancers have college degrees; companies tend to like more mature dancers.
does she really want to do dance professionally, with all that this would entail?
She has definitely talked to pro dancers, and no one, including her, thinks she would dance for decades; it’s a young person’s job (Marianela Nuñez excepted). While reality might quickly make her change her tune, she has said to me she would rather have 6 roommates and eat ramen if it meant she could dance professionally. She understands that company dancers are making less than minimum wage and that they all have side hustles to make ends meet. She would be happy in a corps position.
or is she just reluctant to stop performing/dancing at a very high level (which requires more commitment and time than college would probably typically allow), or sad about the idea of no longer making progress in this pursuit?
I’m sure there’s some of this as well. I’m not sure how to tease this apart. There certainly is an identity in something you’ve committed so much time and energy to.
We are happy to support a gap year if she can pursue the dream, and then make decisions later. But if she can’t get the training opportunities she wants, I want her to have other options she’d like.
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Thanks for this! I’ve been checking and am glad there was an update. Hoping S25 will get notification from the school soon since he was above the TN cutoff.
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214 is way higher than expected for Alaska! But C25’s 222 is good for NMSF even so.
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I’d also add that after college you are much more likely to know if you are willing to live with the lifestyle. The majority of starting ballet dancers are still post high school and it’s a wrenching transition if they move away from home and have to survive on their own without the support and camaraderie that’s available in college. The level of discipline required if you want to stay fit and not get injured is huge (soaking your feet in ice water every night, Pilates and stretching even after dancing all day, eating healthily etc) not to mention staying positive and enthusiastic to impress the director and more senior dancers.
Many 18 year olds find it hard to cope with that, even if they love dance. It’s almost easier to go to a company dance school at 14 and have your parents move with you. Or go to college first where even doing a BFA is way less intense than at a company.
The dancers with the most raw talent are often not the most successful because they haven’t ever had to struggle for it and find the transition even more difficult. Most of the 5 girls in D’s college class who got the starring roles there gave up after the first year of company life.
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Which colleges and universities give priority in the housing process based on when the general application is submitted?
I believe Clemson does that, and I’m looking for any others folks here might know about. Hoping to share with our high school counselors. Thanks!
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thank you. So D25 has a 220 so that means she has it right?
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Yes. Congrats!
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How do you find that number for your kid? (Clueless mom here…I only know S25’s overall score.)
if you go look at her score it should also give an index score. Or you could calculate it by taking the English score multiplied by 2,
add the math score, then divide by 10.
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