Parents of the HS Class of 2025 (Part 1)

My son got 6 EA apps in this week. He is transgender and he wrote about in his application. It’s a big part of his life, both positive and negative, so it was fitting he included this part of his identity in his essays.
I woke up in the middle of the night worrying about his chances. They are all in blue states and most get high marks for lgbtq acceptance, but this time, right now, is challenging. Makes me wonder if these last few weeks have changed the landscape of college admissions for trans kids.

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I’m seeing St. Olaf mentioned a bunch on here.

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He’ll be fine, and any college that rejects him on this basis (even though I doubt it would be for that reason in blue states or even a number of colleges in red states) would not be the right place for him anyway.

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St. Olaf really does feel like the happy place. Nice, smart, well-adjusted kids (well, young adults). It doesn’t radiate stress. Good STEM (especially math and maybe chem?) and tons of languages and study abroad opportunities. Christian but because it’s ELC, not the kind that seeks to impose their religion (as opposed to general Christian values of inclusion/love for one’s neighbor) on others. (My son registered in his application as an atheist.) And sometimes the air actually smells like maple cereal.

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totally agree! this is a ton of paperwork and details - and each school is a bit different, and there is high-level strategy to deal with on top of it… Honestly, a lot of adults can not handle this perfectly, never mind a 17 year old.

This, plus classes, plus ECs is really a lot for anyone to handle (and I have a quite high level job…)

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My trans son did the same (a bunch of EA apps to accepting blue state schools), also wrote beautifully about his journey, and his anxiety is through the roof. We have already eliminated one early acceptance school from consideration, not because of the school, but because of the surrounding area, and I worry about him traveling, shopping, etc.

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There are many students who don’t have help and many find it rather easy to navigate the system but they’re aiming for regional universities not tippy-tops. In other countries, parents have little to no input with students, who are considered basically adults, expected to navigate the entire process. It can be done but their systems are very different where it’s more of a stats-based entry though sometimes with accompanying essays, test scores etc.

Surely many have no help, but do they really find it easy? I find that a bit surprising given the HUGE number of organizations dedicated to helping first gen and lower-resourced kids.

I do definitely agree it is easier if you are only applying to 3 regional state schools or those with 80% acceptance rates. The strategy pieces (and number of pieces) drops dramatically

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Yes they actually do find it easy. Maybe not the financial aspect part though that’s their parent’s responsibility but I am familiar with kids who just put in about 4 or so applications and got results sometime in the fall and were done. Many are not low income (not high income either usually but more middle class) and many may not even be first to college. It’s just that they choose colleges quite differently than people on this board.

I imagine this depends on what these organizations are helping these students with ie applications to top schools that meet the financial need of these students or helping these students with finding scholarships etc.

They’re a completely different bucket of students since low income may not be able to afford the regional school so have to look for money to make college work. The kids I am referring to do have parents that can afford the regional colleges. Most of them likely wouldn’t be able to afford the full cost of many of the top colleges in this country though there are some who would and yet often their kids still choose to go somewhere that’s cheaper.

Geez I was here a week ago and now there are 200 more comments :joy:.

DS got a Letter of Assurance from the United States Merchant Marine Academy! Whew, that takes a little pressure off! Now he just has 5 more interviews. And 4 more apps to do :grimacing:

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I grew up in Canada and while we were not considered adults really, it was a MUCH more simple process. We sat in our dining hall (I went to boarding school) and the guidance counselor handed out a form with our info already filled in and we filled out our top three choices for University, and what school (Commerce, Arts, Engineering, etc) within that University we were applying for. That was it. Our guidance counselor mailed them in with our transcripts and a few months later we all heard back. I don’t think I even told my parents where I applied!

I have no idea if it’s different in Canada now but that’s a very different process from the Common App, Honors applications, separate nursing/engineering/business applications, FAFSA, CSS, etc. Not to mention, and I think this is huge, the difference in cost between many countries and the US for higher education which I think has a big influence on parental involvement.

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fascinating…we can agree to disagree. I know lots of kids (and adults) who do NOT find this easy even with support. I also see in work many people who support these kids in numerous programs that show improved outcomes ..I have a close relative that worked at a HS for decades who also would disagree.

That said you may have insight into some cohort of kids I don’t understand…

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I think the issue is that you’re comparing apples to oranges. My kid could fill out the Cal State app in an hour and be done, and get into many schools as a result. Easy.
But that is not what the original comments were referencing. If we’re talking about the hoops that families are jumping through to get more, and potentially better, opportunities, then kids without much support are at a disadvantage. On top of that, students with financial concerns have to add on to their plate by researching and applying for scholarships. If all things are equal, students without much support are most definitely not faced with an easy path.

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I suspect if you spent more time on facebook groups (not parents in this group) you would see a ton of people who have trouble knowing what to put in even in the simplest applications. I encountered a group where many parents don’t know if you apply jr or sr year, what even the most basic terms mean, etc.

And my relative worked in a public HS where kids rarely went out of state (a small state) and most to regional state schools. :man_shrugging: I am not talking about the strategy and gaming of top schools..

The entire direct admissions process is trying to solve for this problem.

Again, we can agree to disagree.

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Definitely, there are some college apps that are obviously way more straightforward than others. But you’re absolutely right about other opportunities.

My D23 has a friend who is from a very wealthy family but is also a first generation college student. Her parents are entrepreneurs that have been very successful. Anyway, my daughter’s friend should have been a dream applicant, first gen, full pay, 4.0 student, good rigor, captain of three varsity sports, president of the student body, won all the character awards every year, all round great kid etc etc.

She wound up at a great top 100 school and is thriving, but she was rejected from everywhere more competitive. I was completely confused about it until she asked me to write her a recommendation for a competitive college club and sent me her resume. This kid had no idea how to sell herself. I could have written a killer resume for her (and I did help her revamp hers) but if it was an indication of how her applications were written, or what she left out on her Common App, it is no wonder that colleges had no idea how great she is.

A good college counselor should have helped but didn’t. Her parents didn’t know any better because they’d never applied to colleges. She didn’t know she needed help and it’s a bummer because she was top college material in my opinion. Luckily, she’s doing great and loves her school.

Anyway, one example of how a parent (or counselor!) could have helped.

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Yeah, trans kids have to have a serious geographic filter these days.:pensive_face:

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Just a vent - my S25 is so moody and prickly. He has had his applications in and complete for weeks now so it’s not that. I think he’s just so done with high school and needing to tell me and my husband where he’s going etc etc. He’s also bored of doing the same things around here. Don’t they say this is normal and prepares you for them to leave? My gosh this school year could not end quick enough!

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My S25’s prickly factor is lower than in the past, but I can tell he is so, so bored this year and ready to move on. For some reason he has very little homework and his classes aren’t challenging. (even with 3 AP and 1 DE course) I worry he will disengage the longer the school year goes on. I’m trying not to wish this year away, but I also think he’s ready for his next adventure.

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I say senioritis hits. I remember counting down the days just to graduate but that was a simpler time, and today’s kids have more on their plates to consider. Just these applications are intense. I’ll be sad to see mine go but not knowing what is the next step has me more anxious than him. I’m not sure how I’d handle being 18 right now.

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I’m not actually disagreeing with you. I think you and I are in agreement. :smiling_face:. I don’t think it’s an easy process at all. I was responding to the pp claiming it is/can be easy for many kids