So the answer is Second Choice School, right?
And yeah, that’s just me, and I realize that others’ priorities vary. But 2nd choice out of the 2,828 4-year accredited colleges in the country for a relative savings of $120k sounds like a heck of a better deal.
We already have done this…and basically just hoping that choice #1 gives more money then we are expecting…but it’s still hard. The driver is that they want to go to vet school, so that extra money will help here; but maybe choice #1 improves chances of going to vet school? A lot of premature worrying here on my part.
And yes, I think at that price difference, it will most likely be 2nd choice school…we shall see.
Definitely in the same boat.
Perhaps it just was “not to be” that day? I’ll show myself out.
Sounds similar to what happened for my kiddo in AB Calc a few times last year. He loved his teacher, he was doing the work and doing fine on formative assessments, and then on summative assessments (the ones that actually really counted), the material on the test was sometimes out of the blue and made no sense, so no one in the class would do well and those who actually cared about their grade would retake the assessment. We chalked it up to the teacher being a little eccentric?
There is so much wisdom in this post.
Unfortunately, the MidwestPack family are likely to ignore it. D25 has thus far been accepted to the state flagship that, after automatic merit, is about $25k per yer total cost of attendance. Her ED school is about $90k (no merit offered) and the other schools are in the $40k to $60k range (do not know about merit there). We are a full pay family.
She has a 529 plan that will cover even the ED school, but I completely agree with you that starting life off with an extra $300k (if the state flagship is chosen) or $100k - $200k if any of the other schools are chosen, is a wonderful way to start off life - and we would (and have told her) that she could have the difference between what is spent and what is left over. To a 17 year old, that is not (or at least has not yet been) a compelling argument.
Certainly, we could step in and say that she cannot go to the ED school because of the cost differential, but that should have been done before she applied. As a family we agreed that she could apply and attend if accepted. Do I think the ED school has a $300k higher (plus the growth of that money) ROI than the state flagship? No, I don’t. But I do think it does have some advantages over the flagship and gratefully, we can afford it without too much sacrifice. But, this is probably one of those instances where I would likely prefer to write that check once rather than 8 times and have to think about it each time.
I mean, except that it is inherently compelling (in both senses), innit? Those putting up the actual money get to determine how the money is to be spent, I would think.
I completely agree. And we did have the conversation and we did agree as a family that she could apply to the ED school before she applied. We are fortunate in the aspect that paying for her ED school will not impact our retirement (a no go decision point for me) or our lifestyle in any meaningful way. She is our only child and the 529 largely covers the 4 year COA.
So, the decision largely comes down to one of worth - is the value derived from the ED school worth the extra $60k per year. There are many arguments on both sides, and some compelling ones for the ED school. Given this, we said that she could apply to the ED school.
All that said, there is a ton of value - as Twoin18 said - in starting off life with $300k in the bank as a back stop.
Junior parent here but similar recently. My kid got 60% on a test on rhetoric, but many others got Fs. It seems to have been unexpected because the teacher kept the grades but drastically lowered the weight of the assessment in the total.
I hear you. S25 could go to Alabama, Ole Miss or Miss State likely for free (as long as NMF comes through). But I can’t imagine him at any of those schools. So I’m hoping his first choice, Rose-Hulman, comes in around $50K COA per year. It’s still more than I would like to spend, but I think it’s the right place for him. And he will have to get funding if we wants to go on his for PhD, as he claims he will do.
Of course, if rational financial decisions were at play, we wouldn’t have already spent around $200K on private school for him. I recognize it is an absolute privilege to be able to spend this kind of money on education, but our financial priorities are (in order) 1) saving for retirement, 2) S25’s education, and 3) traveling. This is why our house looks like a condemned frat house at this point.
D25 currently has a 113 in her dual enrollment Psychology class. They toss out all of her test scores and then curve the rest of the grades to get the desired distribution and then adjusts her score based on the movement of the highest score in the curve. Its worked out for her, but the next highest grade would be a B- without the curve.
To me that seems like a disconnect with either what is being taught and what is being tested or that the class as a whole isn’t ready for the material.
Yes, we had a similar approach.
We had to fund my mother’s Alzheimer’s care and will likely have to fund my father’s end of life care when it comes to that. We did not (do not) want to burden D25 with our end of life care. So, our goals are
1a) our own retirement,
1b) our own end of life care,
2) D25’s education,
3) fun stuff for us,
4) giving to our communities that we live in, and
5) whatever is left over to D25.
Splurging on an ED school fit that criteria so long as 1a and 1b were already covered. Now then, if ED school is not in her future, then she will have a nice little nest egg to utilize.
Perhaps it just was “not to be” that day?
Oh my god that was bad. So bad that I had to laugh anyway. Thank you, I totally needed that today.
Is she your only child? I worry about our only having to care for us, but we’ve socked away a lot for retirement. And at the rate we’re going we might not live all that long. My friend’s grandmother died at her birthday dinner surrounded by her family. She was drinking a martini, choked on a piece of lobster, and died right there at the table. I’ve been thinking that would be a nice way to go…(Traumatic for the family, but still seems like a good way to go out!)
Edited to say: I know this might seem morbid, but I am embracing death humor as part of my midlife crisis.
We made sure that all of the schools S25 applied to were either solidly in the range of what we felt was the right amount to pay, or (in one case) so frequently gave such significant merit aid that it would fall into the right area. We could pay more than this amount, but the value started diminishing too quickly as cost went up for it to be “worth it” to us.
The problem I’m running into is with the way S25 is ranking his top four schools (in order: UNC Chapel Hill; Clemson; UTK; Virginia Tech) (he’s got three other schools, but they are in positions 4-7 and seem less likely to be relevant). We live in Virginia, so VT is by far the best deal for us and we are paying OOS rates at the other three.
Chapel Hill is it’s own thing - he’d have a different major there, its a different experience - much more liberal artsy feeling, and not as clearly comparable as the others. It’s also the school he’s least likely to get into and that would likely cost us the most at the end of the day. If he got in, and decided it was right for him, we’d pay it without qualms.
The next chunk is where I’m struggling a bit. For the program he wants (Construction Management (at Clemson); Construction Science (at UTK); or Building Construction (at VT) - different names but essentially same program), VT is arguably the “better” of the three programs. And he wants to stay in SW Virginia/ Western NC / Blue Ridge / Smokies - which would suggest the alumni network and job prospects of VT should have an edge.
I’m guessing (assuming he gets in) he’ll get some small merit aid at Clemson and likely larger aid at UTK. But is it worth the cost differential? When so much is so similar about the programs and the big college sports (something he wants), and the general opportunities available? We’re going to have to see what comes in, if anything, in terms of merit aid. We’ve told him it’s his choice. Even at full cost, Clemson is within the budget. And I agree, Clemson IS different from VT - it’s about 8,000 students smaller, and there really is a super friendly and approachable vibe. But if there’s no merit aid, then the four year cost delta is about $85k, and that’s nothing to sneer at.
Love this post too!
Yes, D25 is our only child and that is part of the calculus on splurging on her education so long as our other goals are covered.
As for end of life, I’ve always argued that I want to go out like my grandfather: peacefully in his sleep. Not like the passengers in the car he was driving at the time.
I still remember my first year of college, which by policy (since abandoned, I am told) graded all first-year engineering course exams on a bell curve.
I got an 84% on one exam. It was a D.
As a direct result of my anger at that experience, if I ever curve grades (which I do only infrequently), I only curve up—if I made an assignment way easier than it should have been, that’s on me, not on my students.
Agreed, that would be awful to get a D with an 84. There is something amoral about that.
To be clear, we ruled out schools with no merit aid and made it clear that anything over $60k is automatically out. I refuse to pay $80k anywhere even if we could.