Parents of the HS Class of 2025 (Part 1)

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
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This was me back in 2018. My D was dead set on Purdue the moment she stepped on campus. I thought she’d do better at a smaller private. The size totally intimidated me and I thought she’d get lost in the crowd. She totally proved us wrong and had a phenomenal experience. Better undergrad experience and outcome than many of her friends who went to smaller/privates.

I think this is a great strategy: "I’m going to try to find my joy in focusing on his happiness and excitement. Basically a little fake it till you make it and a little “I’m happy because you’re happy”.

You’ve got this!

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8848

It’s nice that you’re in a place where you can let him choose his top choice even if it’s not yours. Not everyone has that ability. You like VT and he likes Clemson, right? Even if there are things that you think make VT a better fit, there’s really no going wrong with these choices. What has him so excited about Clemson* over VT? (I have a friend who works there and the area is just beautiful!) I can’t recall if you said you did an admitted student day at VT. If not, maybe that will change his mind? D25 had zero interest in her current top choice until we visited. A big piece was talking to a student she could relate to who helped her see herself there.

*The school sure is making you wait a long time to hear about merit aid. I hope he gets a good package after all this!

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We’re lucky in that he only applied to schools that we knew we could afford. My older boy had a favorite for which he needed merit aid to make it doable - we thought he had a decent chance at their very limited number of awards, but he didn’t get any and we had to take it off the list. He understood that, but it was hard.

And yep, you remember correctly re: Clemson and VT. He loves Clemson, I think VT is a better fit. Part of what he loved was just that intangible SOMETHING when we were on campus. I mean, it was like a movie - not only was campus beautiful and students were walking about all looking happy and laughing and being friendly towards us, but he literally just lit up and perked up and smiled the whole time we were there. We were there on the Monday after kids got back from Spring Break last year, and I don’t know if that made a difference, but there was just such an air of happiness and fun. Whereas we visited VT the Friday before, and I don’t know if it was because it was a Friday afternoon and just kind of eh weather, but it just didn’t spark anything in him. Frankly, I think he’s partly set against it because it isn’t “special” to him - a fair number of kids from our HS go there (eight have already announced on the instagram page, and I’m sure there are more to come) and it feels like the standard not exciting choice to him. Clemson not only showed better the day we visited, but it’s more unique and “special” feeling.

The programs are strong at both schools, I just think that the VT program is more geared towards the things he wants and is looking for ultimately. I also worry that he’s seeing the pretty shine at Clemson but hasn’t thought about, or accounted for, the different cultural aspects of going to a Southern school and he hasn’t thought enough about how much more complicated it will be to get home when he wants to get home at that distance.

We’re doing admitted students days at both - Clemson is 3/29 and VT is 4/5. I asked him to wait to commit until those are over, then he can decide, but at this point I can’t see much of anything changing his mind. Over the weekend he even had a call with a student ambassador from the VT program that he’d be joining - the guy was super friendly, talked up the program a lot, said a lot of things that really made it sound like a great experience and environment. Even told us that VT has a club track team that S25 could join (most schools only have running clubs for distance runners, but this includes sprinters, which is what S25 does). I mean, it was just the most positive picture I could’ve asked the guy to paint about the program, job prospects and recruiting, group projects, faculty support, everything. And S25 was totally unmoved.

Right now Clemson is at the tippy top of what we can afford to pay - it’s about $19,500 more than VT per year. Looking at past year’s merit awards, it seems like the most they’ve given is $12,000/yr. So let’s say S25 gets $10k. I think at that delta he’d pull the trigger and say Clemson. I’m not sure if he’d do it for a near $20k annual difference, but because the sticker price is right where we told him to stay under (it’s over by $2500, but that’s not much) I don’t feel like it would be right for me to now say “it’s too expensive”.

The upshot of this is that he also knows that if he goes with the lower cost of VT, we can afford to buy him a car. If he goes with the Clemson sticker price, then we can give him some cash towards his eventual purchase of a car, but he likely won’t have enough saved up for a few years.

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I think this is what’s happening with D25 too. She’s been accepted at a couple of colleges that I think are at least as good a fit as the one she’s leaning toward. But those are colleges where more kids from her HS attend. They’re very good schools who have given her generous aid and she can do honors. But I think the popularity of those schools among her classmates makes them feel less special. In our case, however, her top choice is very similar in COA after aid. There’s only one college that comes in lower, but of course she now has zero interest in that college. She signed up for an admitted student event anyway. At least she’s being a good sport about giving it a chance.

$20k per year difference is nothing to sneeze at. Where I live that $80k is enough for a down payment on a home. And a very nice home to boot!

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Big progress here! Last night '25 said they are down to considering 3 schools!! Kind of glad to have this coming weekend back (they dropped a school from list we were supposed to visit). They ruled out most expensive (by far) one, which is nice, though we could have done if that was one they loved. The rest are pretty similar in costs so not really a consideration.

All the remaining 3 have accepted students days to come…

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Does anyone else have a kid that refuses to attend accepted students days, even online? My child gets angry when I even suggest it, won’t talk to me about schools at all. Supposedly, C25 will be open to discussion once all notifications are given, but I’m so annoyed with the rudeness!

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Rude is basically the baseline for my son right now.

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All of you with your amazing and intricate spreadsheets! It inspires awe and terror in someone like me who’s never learned to make one (C25 probably could but is disinclined). For us as a matter of personality and skill set it’s going to have to be (say it with me) “holistic review.”

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I had to steamroll my daughter into attending admitted student days, but I’m really glad I did. We have seen them all once (not always on a tour) but now things are real. While I’m not convinced the sessions themselves are always valuable, I’m glad to see my daughter listening and asking questions and really thinking about what it would mean to spend her time at the schools.

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My kid is much more interested in the holistic review approach (LOVE that that’s the word choice you used!). I am just that neurotic. Like when I started college, back in the dark ages, I made myself a color coded chart - by hand - of the classes I had on which day, at which time and in which building. And then in lead up to course selection every term I’d make more charts of the classes I needed to graduate overall, what was offered that term, what times they were offered and what building so I could plan walking and lunch etc. I am insanely neurotic about these things.

My S22 has been a good sport. I’ve got charts for him too. One the first tab has his two majors and the required courses for both tracks, where there are choices it notes if a class can count for credit in both majors, it has potential options (like if the major says take A, B, or C) and then I fill in the chart with what class he took and when. Tab two has a four year course plan, with the courses that are only offered certain years or certain terms color coded one color, courses that are prerequisites for something colored a different color, and those courses that require a pre-req colored something else. And I fill in the charts with the courses that are only offered certain times or that are pre-reqs and then the others get filled in as he plans each term. And the final third tab I don’t like as much because it’s a god awful ugly web of First This Then That or If This Then That showing routes to accomplish pre-reqs or to get courses in for a minor.

Honestly, it’s a little bit of an OCD sickness. But I love it.

S22 likes that I have it organized so he can see what he needs to take to meet his major requirements, it’s how he’s been able to squeeze in a double major and minor, there’s been no wasted time. And he likes that he can see what has to come at a certain time and then adjust around that to be with friends or have a better schedule. Plus it’s given him confidence whenever he meets with his academic advisor that everything is on track, and he doesn’t need to rely on them for help as much on basic planning, rather he can ask about the benefits of Course 1 over Course 2 if either would meet the need.

That said, S25 isn’t nearly as interested in partnering on stuff like this. I can’t imagine he’ll want to talk about it at all with me. For him, though, there’s also much less room for creativity. His required courses will fill almost every slot in his schedule, and the electives he can take won’t be particularly determinative of anything else, he’ll just pick what he’s interested in, there’s no pre-reqs that he’ll need to squeeze in.

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My husband is taking my daughter to at least two admitted events because I took her to visit the colleges last summer and he wants a turn to be involved. I’m a little jealous because he gets to see her looking at these colleges in a new way, really picturing herself there. Unfortunately, there’s just no way we can both go so I’ll have to settle for a vicarious experience.

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My current spreadsheet contains ranking info, size, cost, number of years guaranteed on campus housing, distance from home, and AP transfer credits.

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8859

Distance to nearest Chick-fil-a?

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Ha! My daughter was looking for how far campuses are from a Wegmans.

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Part of the issue for C25, too, is that C is a) is considering a very wide range of majors (mostly in the humanities and social sciences, but chemistry or biology might also happen); b) is considering a very wide range of institutions (from the school where her dual-enrollment classes and APs make her a second-semester sophomore to places where APs and other college courses won’t figure at all, from a school with 1,800 undergrads to one with 40K); and c) might go either two miles from home or a thousand, to an urban school or a rural one. The next month will tell. And given the state of the world, C25 and her parents need more anxiety like a hole(istic) in the head.

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Two of my son’s top 3 has one on campus lol!

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My kid pointed out that there’s so much marketing being pushed out right now, why voluntarily sign up to sit through more?

Fair point.:person_shrugging:

{stares into the distance wistfully in Alaskan}

Dang, but I do miss me some Wegmans.

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We’re in the exact same boat! So many variables

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Due to state of affairs these days (and one parent who is a non citizen) our household is looking at where we all might want to be. The idea of a gap year is becoming more interesting. I recently looked at kids top choices and all allow a gap year

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In extremely random news, we are currently pursuing dual citizenship with Italy for me and my two boys. Mostly because one of my cousins has done all the work, and can easily loop the rest of us in, we just need to pay our portion of the attorney’s fees. I asked my boys if they’d be interested (they are both 18+, so they have to sign and agree and want this, but I’ll pay for it for them). I knew S22 would be interested, the career he wants has more jobs in Europe than the US and it would be nice to be an EU citizen when it comes time to apply for them. I didn’t think S25 would particularly care, as it has no utility really for him other than potentially faster customs lines when he travels some day in the future. And when I presented it, S25 didn’t seem to care at all, just sort of oh, ok, that’s interesting, yeah go ahead.

And then today I happen to be looking in my spam email folder for the gmail account we all use to sign up for things. He must’ve signed up for duolingo when we talked about this - it’s been sending daily reports of his progress learning Italian. :joy: The kid who I can’t get to turn in a damn English assignment on time decided to try to pick up some Italian for fun.

It’s going to take at least 18-24 months for this to go through, we aren’t planning on visiting Italy any time soon, and there’s no test or need to learn Italian. And yet…

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