D25 is definitely burnt out on writing essays! Trying to get her motivated to write 2 more essays over this 4 day weekend. They are for a $5000 scholarship. Application is due 2/23.
1 Like
Unfortunately, S25’s essays are all school related these days. And they are LONG. And involved. And they are all coming due in a two-week timeframe.
I think going with the IB diploma program was the right choice for my kiddo, but dang…definitely stressful around here these days. Just keep swimmin’, just keep swimming’…
6 Likes
I know- it would have been nice financially but there really weren’t any good fits for him. Davis was the only one he was mildly interested in. I think the undergrad student experience can be lacking at some of UCs (Cal most notably). They have so many issues with housing among other things.
He did throw in a couple of Cal States (SLO and SDSU) b/c the app was so easy and it did give him a CA option if he changes his mind about being far away.
4 Likes
Curious where all of your kids are leaning or debating between and how your kid is working through deciding where to go?
My son is a science and music kid and is very serious about premed. He was accepted to Miami Ohio, Biochem/Honors/Music; UCinci MedSci/Honors/Music and those are his two main choices. After scholarships it’s around $24k/year direct COA. He also likes Kentucky HHS/Honors, but it’s $13k more per year. His favorite if you don’t factor cost is CWRU where he was accepted both for Biochem and Music, but it’s $37k more per year and hard to justify.
His thought process is very money and cost focused as the first gating item, and then he is very big on a flexible and a true “liberal arts” concept where he can squeeze in many interests. Besides being premed he wants to either dual major or minor in music, join marching and jazz bad, minor in Spanish, and to a study abroad even if only a few weeks version. Miami and Case are both great for that. But, he is also gunhoe on being a doctor and thus needs good access to medical opportunities. Case and Cinci and both great there. But that cost issue sort of crosses Case off the list. I’m leaving him to figure it out (a huge struggle for me) but I can see the debate in his mind.
He also got into, and got good scholarships from OSU/honors, Xavier/honors, Loyola Chicago, Dayton/honors, Albion/honors; but has crossed those off the list for various reasons. Also crossed Kenyon off even though he has not heard. Waiting on Vanderbilt which he likely wont get accepted and we can’t afford but if he got in we would have to have a real discussion; and Denison which he really liked the vibe off but their premed is limited and cost will be a factor, but I suspect he will get accepted.
Overall I think he felt the most comfortable at Miami and Denison and maybe Case, though the Case campus is a bit wonky and they need to do something with those dorms. Vibe and finding a place you fit in is really important, but it’s a hard balancing act.
8 Likes
Using public transportation in Europe is common, and kids travel alone as young as7, but that’s not the ultimate proof that parents in Europe are hands off, that only shows a major difference between European countries which are safe and kids as young as 6 play outside at 9 or 10 pm unsupervised in front of their apartment building or in the park, and US where kids stay in schools like prisoners in prison, with doors locked during the day, metal detectors at the entrance and unannounced drug searches in some areas- oh, we can only see what we know unfortunately.
Parents in Europe on the other hand, know all their kids friends and parents of those friends waaay into highschool, approve or not whether teens go to parties, have strictly enforced curfew for the teens, talk to teachers even in highschool without being accused of helicoptering, know in detail and argue/ approve/ disapprove/discuss openly their teens and even young adults plans for the future, and so on and so forth.
That’s a lot to consider, hopefully some of our pre-med/med school parents can weigh in, although the prospect of medical school costs make the most affordable undergrad experience more palatable, no?
1 Like
Having just spent a couple weeks in the UK with family who have many school age kids I can say that your comments are overly broad and very generalized. There is no one way of parenting in Europe just as there is no one way of parenting in the US
6 Likes
I am no expert (on anything really, but even less so on this topic), but the consistent response here on CC is that for premed, with a specific view to med school, the undergrad school itself doesn’t matter (or at least prestige is a less important consider). Of more importance seems to be grades, mcat scores, shadowing and other aspects related to understanding a med career and showing interest and understanding, etc.
Specifically, the advice seems to be that med school is expensive and the affordability of undergrad should typically outweigh undergrad prestige.
So, if you intend to assist with med school expense, the conventional wisdom would be not to deplete resources on a school like Vanderbilt, especially where a Miami O, or UCincy - both great schools - are less costly options.
6 Likes
At the less prestigious schools, there might be more opportunity to stand out too. I work at a not-prestigious college, but we have some incredible students. And when students have a lot of initiative, work hard, get involved in student research, do independent studies, etc., they stand out. It makes it easy to write letters for their applications.
Of your more affordable choices, I would look at what kind of support each school offers students. Do they have a premed advisor? What are their medical school acceptance rates? Are there opportunities for research or to work as an EMT? If it’s a place where your son can thrive, it might be worth saving money now for med school.
5 Likes
Congrats on some wonderful acceptances! I don’t think you can go wrong with either Miami or Cincinnati, but based on what you wrote about preferences, my vote would be for Miami.
The most successful med school applicant I know went to a very rural college with no medical center nearby. She used her summers home for her clinical hours and volunteer work with underserved populations and did research while at school. But, there is a hospital in Oxford, nursing homes and other places to get patient facing experience.
4 Likes
The decision process is exciting and stressful! I am not in medical admissions, but I am a physician on clinical faculty at an Ivy League medical school and I interview candidates for our residency program. Agree with many of the other replies, overall prestige matters less. Although medical schools are not all the same, you only need to get into one and they all provide solid medical training. I was first gen (before it was called that) and medicine was not even on my radar until it was suggested to me in college by my excellent psych professor who knew me well. I went to a SLAC, worked for a year, went to a middle of the road medical school, and then landed here for residency and have stayed. Med school is expensive, so best not to break the bank for undergrad. However, medical school is hard and grueling so I think choosing a college where he can work hard but also enjoy himself and explore other interests is very important. I also would have him ask about the pre-med culture at the school. Sometimes it can be competitive and in my opinion, not conducive to learning. I am so grateful I had those 4 years to do something outside of medicine because in the end, medicine is not just science and those classes and experiences inform who I am as a doctor probably as much or more than the pre med requirements I took. When I review applicant files, there are a a mix of activities from basic science research to nonmedical activities with underserved populations. I can’t speak to other places, but we value these different activities. He should do what he is passionate about. In the end, these kids are young and many people who intend to go to med school change their minds for a variety of reasons. There are many options in healthcare that kids are not aware of. That being said, I hope he does pursue medical school. I have seen posts on CC discouraging medical school. I get it, the training is hard and grueling and long. Sure, healthcare is a mess right now. But it is also incredibly rewarding and intellectually challenging and I would do it all over again. And this is coming from someone who held student debt for 29 years of my life, paid it for 20 years (called it my educational mortgage), and definitely fits the definition of burnout right now. Sorry for the long post, I just see these discussions a fair amount on CC and wanted to given my personal experience. Good luck to him!
33 Likes
Your son clearly has some good options, which is huge. Congratulations! (Love to see Albion mentioned, even if it did get crossed off the list…knew some good people who went there.)
I’m sorry if I’ve missed your comments earlier on this, but are you doing any admitted students days? I wonder if revisiting a campus after knowing you could actually go there would be helpful to viewing a potential college experience differently, and would help clarify the “feel” of a fit.
I’m actually wondering that for my own kiddo, too. Lengthy and angsty analysis to follow…
It’s been a week of me trying to adjust my expectations, and S25 is actually still waiting to hear from one more school, Virginia Tech. Of course, that school is the one that I’ve kinda had my heart set on for what I think it could offer as a really good fit for him. So if it comes out at his first denial, well…that will settle things very quickly.
In the meantime, he got accepted to another really great option for engineering, NC State. It’s in our backyard, and he has several good friends who are either going there or down the road to Chapel Hill.
Yet I think I’ve raised S25 with an internal expectation/hope that he should go somewhere other than NC State. A case of familiarity breeds contempt, maybe?
He’s lived in Raleigh his whole life, and while it is a great place to live (come on by, y’all, it’s lovely!!), I had hoped that he would at least go away for a few years and then decide for himself if he wanted to come back and start his career here, or explore somewhere else. He would make it a choice to be in the Raleigh area, rather than just a default.
And so many people assume that I want him as close as possible. Yes, I want to see him (especially after reading @OctoberKate’s post earlier this week about wanting to see her other kiddo). But I also want him to know that he will be just fine and can handle whatever comes up when his family isn’t around.
Earlier this week he said he was leaning toward NC State, and I’ve spent the week trying to adjust my thoughts toward the positives of what that could mean: easy to arrange doctor’s appointments, easier to schedule emergency family visits to grandparents (all live at least a 5 hour drive away), easier to give a hug when dealing with stress or a broken heart.
And I’ve been trying to look more at the programs and opportunities, weighing how much difference there is between them and what S25 is likely to take advantage of.
I know I am looking at this from a biased viewpoint, and what I am seeing and assuming is that he’s leaning right now toward being really comfortable. Which could make him act with more confidence. He’ll have people he knows right away who he can meet up with to go see a band or grab lunch. I expect he will make new friends, get new study buddies, invite others to check out the local frisbee golf course. And he’ll keep some of his high school friends, and make new connections.
Yet there is this irritating thought that I want him to move beyond his FOMO and see that Raleigh isn’t the only place to offer great experiences. I mean, he knows that, cognitively, since we’ve traveled to all of the lower 48 states and seen such beautiful and fun things…but he’s never LIVED somewhere else.
Anyway, that’s a long deep dive into my angsty week that kinda hijacks your original question. My apologies, @RookMSU ! I am definitely going to be excited to hear how your son decides!!
I trust that all of our kids will find the right place, and that in a year they are all going to be so involved and excited about where they are that the won’t even look back at these months of indecision. But for now, thanks to all of you for being my online therapist and letting me vent.
8 Likes
I feel like you and I should be neighbors who can just call each other and be like - lets go for a walk and angst or cheer our kids. Weird, but that’s what’s in my head. Largely because I think, if I were you, I could’ve written this whole same post.
My kid is the opposite end of the spectrum right now, just wants to be away from people he knows. But! I’m coming to realize that I think part of what originally made Clemson so appealing was (a) that he had a really good friend who also got in (who has since committed to UVM) and (b) because it felt warm and comfortable and not too big or scary.
I think that ties in some to what you are saying re: NC State. It feels comfortable. They’ve got so much upheaval and craziness going on, I can see them wanting something that feels recognizable.
The good news for you and him, though, is that the Raleigh-Durham area is probably second only to Boston-Cambridge in terms of fantastic universities and exciting opportunities for college students. If he ends up there, I think you just encourage him to make sure not to spend all his time with the people he knows, get a roommate that isn’t a highschool person, go out and explore the city and do the things that newbies do. He can find a whole new way of looking at where he lives and meet new people.
Then maybe he does more summer work someplace else. Like I mentioned above, my kid didn’t come home summer after sophomore year and won’t after junior year - he found the best internships away from where we live. So maybe you encourage summer study abroad, or more spring break study abroad if that’s a thing, or internships in other parts of the country - things that are harder for me to do, even when I know they are the right thing to do.
There’s still months until May 1. Who knows what will happen between now and then, right?
Or, maybe both our kids will come around and we can both get what we want and have my imagined coffee and walking and talking and venting in Blacksburg on parents weekend next year. 
8 Likes
Yeah, that’s pretty much what I’m looking for these days. Count me in!
It’s really good to know that I’m not the only one feeling like this is a wild ride, and I know it is one I’m not staying on forever, and whatever comes next is going to be fine. So reading your posts, and so many other people’s posts, is good for my soul and my peace of mind.
I definitely agree that your S25 and my S25 seem to be on a similar path with figuring out what’s going to be the right fit. They’ve got a lot to consider.
All that to say, thank you for validating the back and forths. If you’re as good at it with your kids (I suspect you are) as you are on supporting people on this board, then they are really, really lucky.
Let’s see where today’s verdicts from VT land. Sending out good thoughts!!! (And a secret wish for that coffee in Blacksburg 
)
6 Likes
Good luck to all of those waiting on VT!
6 Likes
I just emailed the visit day coordinator for the school we’re visiting on Monday. I emailed her then wrote an email to the high school letting them know that D25 wouldn’t be there on Tuesday. In the time it took me to write that email the college person had already emailed me back! I had an answer in less than 30 seconds!
5 Likes
It’s really exciting that your son has such great offers and are at an affordable price point. My D is down to 2 schools and although she’s waiting on the financial package for one I know it’s a tough decision. In my mind I’m treating them as equal in price so how do I choose? I plan to go over just what the undergrad experience would look like in objective terms. The housing being an issue after the first year, how difficult is it to get the classes you need, how far are the dorms from the music building and are they air conditioned, how is the advising either for the undergrad degree and/or the pre health sciences. One thing I know my D doesn’t like about one is a 2 year requirement for marching band. That doesn’t seem like it would bother your son but is there any other policy or requirement for the degree that would? The subjective reasons why my D might choose one or the other I can’t help with much. That’s where she’ll have to reflect on how she sees herself living over the next 4 years. I would support her going to either school fully. Good luck with the decisions and keep us updated!
6 Likes
Interesting post! Your son sounds very focused and aware of the different interests and qualities of the schools. My S25 is also a science kid (wants to do medical research but not med school) and he’s completely focused on the academic opportunities of each college/department. I’m trying to tell him that social life/clubs/vibe are also important. For us, the admitted student events will be crucial, although those all seem to be scheduled in April (for the colleges he still has pending). That won’t leave much time to make this really important decision.
1 Like
Two-year requirement for marching band! That is wild. I know MIT has a mandatory swim test, which would have eliminated me immediately. (Grew up financially challenged with no money for swim lessons, etc.) My kids can swim well, thankfully, but I’m happy to stay out of the water.
1 Like
Thank you, that is very helpful. The biggest difference between Miami and UC is that the degree at UC is for Medical Science, which is basically a more intensive premed program. But, in years 3 and 4 all of your time is spent on the medical school campus and taught by the med school teachers. It sounds like a great opportunity, but it also sounds grueling and will be hyper focused such that if med school does not work out he will have a hard time pivoting. At Miami he would be a Biochem major with a premed dual major (really just a focus). He seems to really like chemistry and lab work generally. If med school doesn’t work out, it would be easy to pivot with a biochem degree. The only issue is, if he tries to double major in Music then he would have to go for a BA in biochem vs the BS just to have enough time for everything. If he minors in music he “might” be able to pull off the BS. He won’t have to make that decision until Jr year.
2 Likes