Great column on this story in W. Post. My favorite line:
I love that 4 police officers were needed to investigate the initial complaint.
When you read the story and see how the parents gradually increased what their children were allowed to do unsupervised, it seems like a deliberate, thoughtful plan.
There was just a short piece on Chris Hayes’ show about this. The little boy was interviewed, as was the dad. The boy LOOKED young but was completely poised and confident. He knew street names and held his little sister’s hand constantly. If he were my kid I would have no hesitation at all about letting him walk alone.
Of course, there is a lot of “noise” in the list of registered sex offenders, since, in many states, the list of crimes extends far beyond those normally seen as sexual predator crimes. http://gbi.georgia.gov/sex-offender-registry-frequently-asked-questions#goone indicates that Georgia considers any crime against a minor to be one that will put the criminal on the sex offender list. Those who turn 18 while in high school better be extra careful about getting into fights with 17 year olds.
6 and 10 is too young to be out walking alone. Two or three 10 year olds, maybe. I don’t know if things are more dangerous nowadays or not but my perception is that they indeed are.
But I DO NOT think it warrants a full blown investigation of the parents.
I think the video with the Washington Post article linked in post #40 above gives insight into why the police were called initially. It was not a matter of a few blocks in a suburban area – the kids were allowed were walking about a mile from a downtown park – the video shows that the park is an an urban setting – small city, but far more urban in than the community where I live. So I can see why someone might have called the police, seeing two small kids walking alone in that environment. As I indicated in my post #38 above, my rules were different for my son when we lived in the city, than for his younger sibling after we moved to the burbs. My own childhood was probably very typical of the 50’s & 60’s – I also had free range to ride my bike all over the suburban neighborhoods in the area where I lived and attended school, but I can’t conceive that my dad would have ever allowed me to walk alone from the downtown park a few blocks away from his law office before I reached my teens.
That being said, it seems like a gross overreaction by the police and CPS – I can see why the police would make a referral, but it seems that from there on out it’s rather heavy handed. Certainly a threat by a social worker to remove the children from the home was unfounded.
Crime is down significantly in the US overall compared to 20-40 years ago, when today’s parents were walking down the street to elementary school by themselves.
Perhaps what should be a greater concern is motor vehicle crashes, including motor vehicles running into pedestrians. However, pedestrian deaths by motor vehicle crashes have also been going down, according to http://www.iihs.org/iihs/topics/t/pedestrians-and-bicyclists/fatalityfacts/pedestrians .
I.e. it is less dangerous now, but people are more fearful.
When I was 9, I walked from school to the T station in Dorchester, MA about two miles away. I rode the subway to North Station which was next to the Boston Garden. It was rush hour on a Friday, and I had to pick the right B & M train to Woburn, MA. My stepmother had schooled me on what train to take and to ask a train official for help finding out what track it was on.
The crowded train ride was like traveling in an exotic country for me. Businessmen, clerks, secretaries, college students, and families discussed their weeks and their plans for the weekend. The Conductor walked by me barking out train stops all the way to New Hampshire. Nobody bothered me. When I got to my new house it was a relief to know that I had passed one of my first tests for manhood.
Was this Neglect? Maybe in 2015 it is, but I wouldn’t say it was back in the 1950’s.
For those interested in the topic here is an interesting article:
http://www.theatlantic.com/features/archive/2014/03/hey-parents-leave-those-kids-alone/358631/
Tl;dr
Kids are no safer statistically, they just seem safer, but are missing out on important life experiences.
I’d feel safer having my kids walk alone in a reasonably safe urban area than in a suburban one. “Being urban” does not necessarily mean “being dangerous.” It does mean having sidewalks and lots of people around. In the 'burbs, cars travel faster on wider roads with fewer controlled intersections, and many streets don’t have continuous sidewalks. Residents aren’t out in front of their homes as much and are often less aware of what is going on around them.
People ought to read James Howard Kuntsler’s “The Geography of Nowhere.” Suburbs are NOT categorically safer, and in my opinion they have made people more insular and less community-oriented.
When I was 10, my older cousin’s friend was abducted and strangled (I cannot even mention the rest of what was done to him) by “Freeway Killer” William Bonin. The abduction occurred about 5 miles from my house. A few years later, Richard Ramirez, the Night Stalker, struck in neighborhoods within ten miles of mine.
When my daughter was 4, my husband and I were out in front of our house with our neighbors. Our daughter and their son, also 4, were about five houses away from us, on their bikes, when an unfamiliar car pulled up directly in front of them. We ran down the sidewalk and saw a man, about 50ish, sitting at the wheel. He quickly drove away when he saw us. Apparently, he didn’t say anything to the kids, just stared at them.
A few months after my daughter turned 6, Samantha Runnion, a 5-year-old, was abducted and murdered by Alejandro Avila, in an area not too far from where we lived at the time. To this day, I have not been able to bring myself to read the specific details of what that monster did to her…but I know the basics.
In our present community, which is mostly very nice, there have been 3 attempted abductions by strangers, not family members, in the nearly 12 years we’ve lived here.
I’m aware that the chances of someone abducting my kids are quite slim. I don’t care. They ride in cars, snowboard, skateboard; my daughter and husband are planning to skydive soon. All risky endeavors. Bad things could happen to them, yes. But, there is a difference, at least to me. How unbearably excruciating for a parent to have to live with thoughts of what was done to their child before being killed. This is why I have always kept my kids in sight. However, I don’t have any problems with parents who do things differently. To each their own.
Sally, where I live, the roads aren’t wide and the cars aren’t traveling particularly fast. There is a major highway that cuts through our town and that’s where the traffic is-- but of course my kids knew not to try to cross that particular road. (There are pedestrian underpasses & overpasses they could use instead) I have neighbors who seem to be outdoors in front of their houses all the time. My daughter and I used to refer to one particular neighbor as “world’s perfect dad” as he was always out in front of his house playing with his kids, or having his kids “help” with home repair tasks. (And yes, his kids also roamed the neighborhood without direct supervision – it as fairly common when they were younger for one of them to knock on the door asking permission to go into my back yard to retrieve a ball accidentally tossed over my fence).
So please don’t generalize. I realize that not all burbs and not all cities are the same. But there are plenty of suburbanites who live on narrow loopy streets – that’s why the kids where I live are out playing IN the street.
I used to live in Silver Spring and I’m familiar with the area in question. It’s downtown, on the edge of Washington DC, about 2 blocks from the local metro station. It’s very urban, which is good considering the wide sidewalks and clear pedestrian walk signals. Also, there would be lots of people walking so the cars know they must behave. Still it must have struck someone as odd to see two little kids crossing a big 6 or 8 lane intersection and they called the police.
The trouble is that that it wasn’t dropped after that. Unbelievable really. And just terrifying that you’re forced to sign some form or lose your kids right there! I think I would explode from anger, hopefully not in front of the police. And here’s something else - Silver Spring was voted the most “caring” suburb.
http://patch.com/maryland/bethesda-chevychase/silver-spring-makes-list-most-caring-suburbs-america
There’s something hilarious about the phrasing in that article.
Maybe they’re all needed to counsel the distressed parents who’ve been visited by CPS.
On one of the morning shows, they were all upset about how cold it was outside. Cold? I saw a photo of those kids and they were all bundled up! That’s why God made snowsuits, for Pete’s sake!
I thought I’d side with the parents on this, but thinking about it…age six is just too young. If it was just the ten year old walking around, fine, but not a six year old.
I had a great amount of freedom when I was very young. Babysat full time for three young kids when I was 13, even kept us alive during a fire that burned the house down. My parents worked full time even when we were young, I walked to school when I was very young, spent plenty of time alone.
However, when I was about seven or eight, my sister (two years older) and I would walk to our piano teacher’s’ house about 3/4 mile away every week. One day, somehow, I got parted from my sister. I don’t remember if she was being mean, playing, or if it was by accident, but I was alone. I was lost and had no idea how to get home, so I stood there on a corner, crying. A man pulled up in a car and asked me if I was lost, and if he could take me home. I felt I had no other option, so I got into his car. Fortunately, he was a good Samaritan and took me home. It could have gone the other way. Six years old is too young, and too helpless to rely on someone who is only ten.
Sure, it’s great for kids to have responsibilities and become self reliant at a young age. However, the consequences are too great to take a chance with such a small child.
I wonder if this greater perceived need to supervise the kids to older ages than in past generations has contributed to helicopter parenting through high school and unwillingness to let go in college (e.g. requiring the college student to stay close, even if a further away school is less expensive). Or getting involved in adult kids’ job interviews and the like.
I do think it’s a generational thing. We’ve lived in the same suburban neighborhood for almost 28 years. When my kids were little they played outside all day. They had to remain within site or where they could hear me unless they told me where they were going. They were allowed to walk to a friends house within the subdivision as early as age 6. All the kids played together and nobody’s parents insisted on adult supervision.
I was talking with a young mother recently who is the same age as my oldest. She asked how far I thought she should let her 10 year old go. Right now, he’s only allowed outside when a parent is standing there watching. I rarely see kids playing outside and I know there are lots of them in the neighborhood based on the numbers standing at the bus stop. And all of the kids at the bus stop have a parent that waits with them or drives them to the stop.
I think it’s really sad. I agree with the poster who asked how these kids are going to go away to college when they have been given no freedom until that time.
My youngest tweeted that those children referred to by the OP were in more danger getting into a car to be driven home than walking home. Of course, his baby is only 9 months old and can’t even be in her own room asleep without them watching on the baby monitor. Can’t wait to see what happens when she’s 10.
I know this area pretty well. My take? Six may be a little on the young side but that depends on the child. The child in the video seems mature and aware enough to listen to her brother, and follow his lead. The ten year old boy appears more than capable to navigate Silver Spring on his own and with a younger child. I think ten is more than old enough to walk or bike a mile or so away from home. How do parents expect their children to gain any confidence, street awareness and independence if the children are deprived of any opportunities? The parents sound thoughtful. They have been working up to this level of responsibility, they didn’t just dump the kids out on the street unprepared or unpracticed.
I think my kids were about 10 when I first allowed them to walk alone (but with each other) to a neighborhood park about a half mile away. We had Motorola walkie talkies at the time, as this was still pre-cell phone.
I do know that I was 4 - yes, 4! - when I was allowed to walk to a local mom and pop grocery in an urban neighborhood to get a Popsicle for 10 cents!
calmom, you are correct that not all suburbs are the same. I didn’t say they were–I just said they weren’t categorically safer than urban areas. Where you live sounds idyllic. But so are some city neighborhoods.
And I still recommend that people read that book…I found it really eye-opening.
I’m older than you are, PG - I used to walk to the mom and pop grocery store for a nickel candy bar! Not by myself until I was 6, though. I remember walking to our elementary school alone as a first grader. Google tells me that it was .6 miles and should have taken about 12 minutes. It seemed much longer until I learned to read. Then I started reading as I walked (shades of today’s texting) - not a good idea, but I was bored.
I did have two negative experiences as a primary school student. I was chased into the street by an unleashed barking dog and narrowly escaped being hit by a car. And once a man stopped his car and tried to get me to come over and talk to him. Having been raised with dire warnings about that scenario, I ran home.
I told my own kids not to run into the road for any reason, including an imminent dog attack, and, of course, never to get into a stranger’s car. I didn’t consider my lectures to be enough protection, though, and didn’t have my kids walk anywhere by themselves until they were quite a bit older - probably in middle school unless they were just going to visit a friend on our short cul-de-sac.