It’s SOP in Scandinavia for mothers and parents to leave their infants in the strollers outside of stores or restaurants while the adults are inside shopping or dining.
^^yes, I remember when a Mom visiting NYC did that and was arrested a few years ago. I’ve also heard that in Germany it is common to run errands when your baby is home napping, even if the baby is alone.
The parents were ‘frantic’ that their kids didn’t come home at 6:30, but by then they’d been sitting in a police car for over an hour. The parents didn’t know where they were at 5, or at 6, or at 7. If these kids are only playing together, why do they have to walk a mile to a park? Why can’t they just play at home?
I was raised in a small town and told to come home when the streetlights came on. Didn’t make it safe. There were hundreds of things that could have happened to us, mostly involving water (3 rivers in our town, and they weren’t off limits). However, I didn’t let my kids go to the park that was on the walking path next to our house when they were 9, 10 or even 13 years old. There were too many older boys there playing basketball and it was not safe. My daughter didn’t even like walking home from middle school on that path, and she, like the boy in this case, was 10 years old. If she left school immediately and walked down the street, not on the bike/walking path, she would walk home occasionally. Otherwise, there was the possibility of ‘older’ kids (you know, 12 year old 7th graders) harassing her on the path.
If I saw two kids in the park on this size (and I think the 10 year old looks young) I’d call the police.
I was just reading a book by a local food writer who took his family to Japan for an extended vacation.
He sent his 8 yr old daughter out to buy lunch in Tokyo.
( they had been there a while, but they were hardly fluent)
Then again, not so long ago latch key kids were 8 or 9.
Some of them still are. Even in Maryland. But other states require kids to be as old as 10 – or even 14 in Illinois – to be home alone.
l should have been arrested years ago. My kids babysat at 12, stayed home alone around 10, walked around the neighborhood by 7, walked to their friend’s home (down the street) at 5.
Since there is no rational reason for the police/CPS not to have at the VERY least informed the parents promptly that they had kidnapped --oh, excuse me, were protecting– the children I can only assume that they did this in order to “throw a good scare into” the parents. This course of action seems to me to display an astonishing lack of concern for the emotional well-being of the children. Sitting for hours in the back of a police car? This family was already known to CPS. They knew exactly what was going on.
If I were the parents I would either reluctantly comply with the regulations, or move to somewhere more sane. I would not inflict more of these episodes on my kids to prove a point, at least, not THIS point.
And frankly, although it is horrible to think of it, there has been sufficient publicity about these kids that I would worry that some sicko would target them.
Families living in California can check the Megan’s Law website to see whether registered sex offenders live nearby. I was stunned when I first checked the site to discover that there were several living within a mile of our home.
I’ll say again. Stories like this one make me terrified to have children.
I literally had no rules growing up. I guess my parents would be called free range parents though I’m sure they’ve never heard that term before. I want nothing more than to give my kids the same experience and the fact that I could get in trouble for letting my kids walk to the park makes me sick.
There was a little girl on our neighborhood who would knock on our door to ask to play w our dog (we called her the “puppy stalker”). When she did it a second time, we asked her if she hsd told her parents that she was at our place. She said no.
I had a talk w her parents (Scandinavians-- eyeroll…). I told them she was very welcome to visit our home, but it would be better if she informed her parents first. The parents were clueless. I had to explain to them the potential risks of young child entering a stranger’s home.
138 I'm wondering how I would act if I were in that guy's place.
I think, in the past, I typically do not hesitate to actually ask a kid if I see them alone in a public place possibly lost ( grocery, sidewalk, etc) “Hi! Are you ok? Is your mom or dad nearby?”
I think because I look like a mom, kids don’t find me threatening and will stare & slowly nod, or giggle & run away. A couple of times a kid has burst into tears and say they can’t find their mom. I think most of the time in a few minutes worried mom comes hustling up saying “I told you not to wander off!”
I think one time at an amusement park we did get as far as calling a park employee over and getting the kid over to “lost parents” security station.
I don’t think it would occur to me to call 911 if I wasn’t sure the kid was in distress.
That said , I myself grew up pretty free range but I watched my own kids like a hawk when they were younger.
I have very mixed feelings about this. I agree that CPS was over the top and I would be beside myself to find out the kids were being held for hours in a police car without my knowledge. I don’t however, think that a ten year old is old enough to be responsible for his six year old sister.
My sister and I, like most people on this thread were expected to look after ourselves most summers and walked to and from school starting pretty much from first grade. That wasn’t the case with my own kids, mostly because their schools were several miles from home. The roads around here are not pedestrian or bicycle friendly - narrow roads lined with ditches. So my kids didn’t walk or ride their bikes by themselves anywhere. I was strict about helmets, seatbelts and later dating and driving. I don’t have a problem with kids doing and exploring by themselves, but I’d rather they do it with the youngest child being 10, not 6. My kids still grew up to be quite adventurous adults. My daughter lived in China for a year without knowing Chinese and one of my sons backpacked around Europe alone for five months. My youngest will be moving across country to a city he’s only visited once.
My point is that even if today’s kids are mostly being raised in a much more protected atmosphere, they are not turning into fearful adults. At least the ones I know aren’t.
If I were the man walking a dog, I would never approach the kids and ask if they were all right. I can think of few more effective ways to be arrested and get on some list as a potential child predator. (Ironically yet another side effect of the protective hysteria.) It’s a different matter for us women.
@Consolation I agree - I bet the fact he was male played a big factor in his decision not to approach directly.
An update from the Washington Post:
Simon and the other parents do not seem to appreciate the pitfalls in an adult stranger – especially a man – approaching and speaking to children. If someone else had seen him do such a thing, that other person might have called the police on him, thinking he was a child molester.
In this case, the children approached him first and asked to pet his dog. That would gave been a good time for him to ask a few questions if he was so concerned. Calling 911 really seems to be overkill to me. But all parties involved here - including the parents and the police/CPS - have shown poor judgement.
It’s easier for a woman/obvious mom to approach children. Once at a huge hotel we (my family of four) heard a child sobbing in the parking lot. A little boy about three, carrying a little cheese grater (??), lost. I took his hand and we headed to the office (after waiting a few minutes to see if a parent was going to come screaming into the lot). As we walked, I asked him his name (“Jacob”). I asked if he knew his last name, knowing that would make it easier to find his folks. He didn’t answer, so I asked again, and he said tearfully and irritated, “I’m thinking!!” So cute. Sometimes even now, if someone in our family doesn’t answer right away and we repeat a question, we’ll say crossly, “I’m thinking!”
[his dad came into the office and found him but didn’t seem as frantic as I would have been]
Now and then in the sudden downpours of Oregon I’ll see kids/teens walking or waiting for a bus and I so so so want to stop and see if they need a ride. And then I realize I might scare the crap out of them. But I worry about them all day.
There is a protocol when police/911 are called to investigate. The cop followed it. He is to call CPS and wait. He did, and in fact called again after about 30 minutes. It was a Sunday night at 5 pm, so I imagine CPS was not at the office but on call, and may have taken a while for the worker to get to the office, get the message, get the information. When they found there was an order, they couldn’t return the children until some higher up okayed it. So they brought the children to the CPS office.
The protocol is not to return the children until they know everything is okay. What if these children had been removed from the home and really were wandering? Children want to return to their parents, even if they are being abused. The details wouldn’t be available to the 911 operator or the cops. It just say there is a CPS order for these kids. The protocol is not to call the parents, because then the parents are going to come to the cop car and the cop will have 2 anxious children and 2 frantic (their own description) parents. The parents weren’t even looking for the kids at that point. I have no sympathy for these parents who were told NOT to let their kids wander and agreed to that.
It’s fine to be a free range parent if there is no law preventing it, but here there is. The Maryland law requires children under 8 years old to be supervised by someone over 12. If the parents don’t like it, get the law changed. That’s up to the Maryland legislature, not the cops and not CPS. Maryland and Illinois are two states with strict rules about babysitting and supervision. Don’t like the laws, don’t live there.
Last week in SF a 5 year old was walking home and was assaulted by a homeless man. She was where she was supposed to be, her parents or caretakers were waiting, she wasn’t late. I think the Maryland law makes sense. People can’t just decide that their children are fine. A 14 year old can’t get a driver’s license because he has free range parents who think he’s mature enough. If there is a curfew, the parents can’t just decide it doesn’t apply to their children. If there is a law about babysitting or staying alone, you have to follow the law. Having a card around your neck that says “I’m not lost, I’m a free range kid” doesn’t change the law.
The parents are not in violation of any laws. Please cite the laws you think these parents are violating. Here is the law they are NOT violating:
quote A person who is charged with the care of a child under the age of 8 years may not allow the child to be locked or confined in a dwelling, building, enclosure, or motor vehicle while the person charged is absent and the dwelling, building, enclosure, or motor vehicle is out of the sight of the person charged unless the person charged provides a reliable person at least 13 years old to remain with the child to protect the child.
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