<p>If younghoss believes that listening to other views without an argument and then making one’s own decison is lying, cheating and deception, then, yes in his eyes, guilty.</p>
<p>Methinks rather that younghoss may have a view of the world that is rather black and white. Maybe he’ll see the shades of grey someday. Maybe he’ll see the value of telling a spouse that the new outfit is “nice” even though one doesn’t really think that? The art of respectful listening, even when one does not agree, is an important one. The art of choosing one’s battles is also an important one.</p>
<p>Few of the things discussed in this thread are searches for truth, and it is sad when someone (naively?) thinks they are.</p>
<p>As a parent, my “understanding” with my daughter is that I pay for a good part of her education, and she does well in school. We discuss where she wants to go course wise and career wise, but I do not, indeed cannot, dictate or tell her what to do when. Indeed, I don’t know the answer, nor does she, yet.</p>
<p>Yes, some parents, perhaps the OP’s even, may take a stronger approach. That does not mean they are correct, and it does not mean their kid is bound to take their advice.</p>