"paying" daughter to go with STEM - doing the wrong thing?

<p>Women’s studies would teach that young women are not limited to “traditional” women’s careers and goals. It seems there is some misunderstanding here of “women’s studies.” They are not about “connecting to the feminine.”</p>

<p>A caution about career testing: my daughter was told she had a future as a clown or a conductor, and her friend, a small female, was told she should be a football player. These tests were paid for by a local foundation, so that kids in our public schools could think about their career aptitudes. The funding was cut after a year or two, thank heavens.</p>

<p>I’m getting off this thread and never should have gotten on!</p>

<p>Don’t go, compmom! If you weren’t here, I would never heard about your daughter being advised to be a clown or a conductor! That’s rich.</p>

<p>I hope you all are not knocking nursing! It is a very good paying profession with a very wide scope of career paths. Bedside nursing is just a starting point. From there, the options are endless.</p>

<p>compmom, I can only imagine my response if my son came home telling me he was advised to be a clown! How funny!</p>

<p>Comp mom and hunt - my younger sister looked into the Ringling Brothers clown college. For real!</p>

<p>Maybe this site will help a little. Not sure: </p>

<p>[Archived:</a> Think College - High School and Beyond - Planning Your Career](<a href=“http://www2.ed.gov/students/prep/college/thinkcollege/highschool/edlite-career.html]Archived:”>http://www2.ed.gov/students/prep/college/thinkcollege/highschool/edlite-career.html)</p>

<p>compmom, perhaps the perfect job for your D would be conducting a circus band.</p>

<p>I want a thread in which a parent has a child who wants to be an engineer, but the parent is pushing the kid towards clown college because everyone in the family has been a clown and they’ve always been steadily employed, great health benefits, etc.</p>

<p>OK, I am definitely not the parent to criticize anyone else’s parenting methods. My H and I, and my brothers and sisters, only insist that our kids actually go to college and major in “something that they enjoy.” We have ended up with the following majors among our offspring: Musical theatre, equine management, Russian literature, writing, and weed science. So far, none of them starving and all quite happy! In fact my musical theatre major texted me yesterday to inform me that now she wants to go to circus school! Yes, I will literally have a clown in the family. My youngest is planning to be a voice performance major and, quite frankly, I’d be disappointed if he chose to go into engineering or something else “practical.” It is so much fun watching my kids (and nieces and nephews) discover themselves, learn how to “make it in the world” and become great, interesting adults. To each his own!</p>

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It could have the added twist of a girl who is complaining because her parents are requiring her to wear makeup.</p>

<p>I actively discouraged one child from becoming an engineer.
Also discussed with husband whether we would “allow” child to attend MIT if accepted.
In retrospect this might not have been the very best parenting.</p>

<p>:)</p>

<p>MIT would be incredibly stressful</p>

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<p>A totally agree with this … but need to add … as opposed to folks who KNOW they want to major in civil engineering in high school? Exactly, how many high school kids have experience in a STEM major before picking it as a major before they even pick a school?</p>

<p>As a parent of 3 and, more importantly, as a graduate of 3 top 15 type schools I find this whole conversation rather bizarre. The universities I attended all have separate schools to which a freshman must apply (arts & sciences or engineering, for example) … however applicants did not apply for majors, majors were not mentioned on the applications, and students had two full years to explore and then decide. I find the idea that a young adult knowing what they want to do before have they experienced that field or other options as discomforting and frankly, counter productive. As a parent one of the major lessons I want my kids to understand is to check out options that interest you, gather information, and make informed decisions … and I am at a loss of how a 17 or 18 year-old wanting to explore options can in any way be considered a negative.</p>

<p>I’m also at a loss as to why people think their kids who have little interest in or aptitude for a given field are going to magically do well against kids who have natural interest and talent in those fields. Duh, how good of an engineer is the forced-into-it kid going to be?</p>

<p>Hunt 110 – her parents are requiring her to wear clown makeup, and insisting she tie balloon animals as an EC when she really just wants to work in a lab.</p>

<p>OP, regarding the title of the thread, you are not “paying” your daughter for going with a STEM major, rather you are penalizing and punishing her for not obeying your wishes.</p>

<p>I had a friend in high school who took a vocational preference inventory, which suggested that he should be a mortician. No joke–unlike the Candid Camera episode where students were told that their responses suggested that they should be shepherds.</p>

<p>I can sympathize with any parent who is worrying about a child’s financial future in this economy. But forcing an uninterested child to go into a STEM field (or even trying to persuade the child to do that) would be a mistake, in my opinion.</p>

<p>No matter what the reason or intent, parents forcing kids into studying something they aren’t interested in is almost always a recipe for failure IMO…</p>

<p>Both me and the DW are STEM majors (aero engineering) and while our older son is studying biology (a STEM major that unfortunately has less than stellar employment prospects) our younger daughter is currently interested in majoring in theater. We are trying to encourage her to look at another more marketable major to concurrently study but if theater is her dream then we will do what we can to allow her to pursue it. She’s just a HS freshman so there’s plenty of time to help guide…</p>

<p>No one has asked yet but could it be to much resources have been spent on boy child and not enough left for D? You rules for college for her screams sabotage. Are you trying to make it so she will opt out of going to school?</p>

<p>OK, gussied.</p>

<p>There was no such thing as a Women’s Studies major when we were in college. If there had been, that’s what my wife would have done. Instead she double majored in Psychology (of women) and American Studies (women’s history). She graduated in the middle of a recession and hadn’t looked for a job before she did. She went through a series of temporary jobs, including saleswoman for a wholesale jeweler and collecting insurance and being a receptionist at a major hospital emergency room. She wound up working for a nonprofit housing developer, where she did a terrific job and ultimately was responsible for three successful projects. She went to law school, and was a Legal Services (poverty law) lawyer for about four years. During a maternity leave, she chaired the board of a group working on health policy, which led to her being offered (and accepting) a public health management job. Since then she has basically alternated between jobs in government – in her last one she managed an 11-figure budget and tens of thousands of employees – and jobs in the nonprofit sector, ranging from huge brand-name foundations to tiny advocacy organizations. She is a significant national expert in her field (which, by the way, is not unrelated to women’s studies), has shelves and shelves of awards and honors, and earns meaningfully more than the average senior civil engineer. While she thinks law school sharpened her analytic abilities, she hasn’t had a job for which her law degree was relevant in the past 22 years.</p>

<p>So, that’s one anecdote about what you can do with a women’s studies degree. Here are some other people close to me who had “useless” humanities majors: </p>

<p>One of my sisters was a Spanish Literature major; she manages a public mutual fund, earns a small fortune, and shows up on investment-oriented TV shows pretty regularly. She has no degrees other than her BA. My other sister was a History major and got an MA in Art History. She worked at a stock exchange for 10 years, ultimately in management, then went to a post-bac pre-med program (she hadn’t taken a science course since 10th grade), and is now an emergency medicine MD. And I have written here often about my friend the French Literature major and amateur musician who (with no other training) wound up as CEO of a company that manages scores of artists, mainly musicians. One of my college roommates was an Art History major; he is now a commercial real estate developer and manager with a pretty important art collection (although there was an MBA in there along the way).</p>

<p>The fact of the matter is that there are hardly any college majors that specifically qualify someone for a particular job. Nursing, engineering, accounting, education, actuarial science . . . that’s about it. And even for them graduate study may be important for real career advancement. Everyone else is really trying to cash in their intelligence, work ethic, and analytic ability for on-the-job training and a chance to find a place in the world. Humanities majors aren’t “for fun”; if they are any good, they are a ton of work that constitute great preparation for meaningful employment in the real world.</p>

<p>EDIT: With all due respect, Hunt, Pizzagirl et al. are wrong about women’s studies and traditional women’s fields like teaching and, especially, nursing. Nursing schools are hotbeds of honest-to-god feminism. I know a number of women, both in my generation and in my children’s, who have gone into nursing as an outgrowth of their interest in feminism, and they have had / are having exciting, rewarding careers.</p>