<p>Interesting thread!
I and my H have been practicing lawyers for 24 and 26 years respectively. I am the outgoing, agressive, system change, impact, litigation, trial lawyer. He is… shy. So, here are my thoughts:</p>
<ol>
<li> You need to understand what you mean by thinking of yourself as “shy.” People mean very different things. Someone can be introvereted, prefering to think and experience life on her own, but otherwise be comfortable around others. Another person can be anxious, desparately wanting to be part of a group but too anxious to join in (social anxiety) or may downplay the merits of a case because of fear of actually taking it to court (more generalized anxiety). Insecurity can be part of this.</li>
<li> I think people who are shy in the sense of quiet, slow to warm up, prefer relating to a few people at a time versus groups, prefer their own company to a lot of glib windbags, can and do make fabulous lawyers. I’ve even met some rare shy trial attorneys… they can work well with others when needed to, but not for social reasons. The key is to be very secure in who you are, to understand that people come in all flavors and that your flavor is FINE and to find a niche where your style is a terrific fit along with whatever knowledge and skills you pick up along the way.</li>
<li> Anxiety and insecurity are very diferent. People who are shy as in #2 may have a great deal of this, and it tends to get confused. (Out going people have anxiety too, it just looks different.) Anxiety I think of as “treatable” – it is on the neurological spectrum, part of your fight and flight response. “Insecurity” is more interpresonal/therapy stuff to be worked through (this is just my framework, nothing professional here!) Both in my experience are lifelong projects. For some, depression and other lifelong issues are tumbled in this category.</li>
</ol>
<p>So… my H lost two legal jobs in his work lifetime… the first in a place that most honored hard-core, hard-assed, think-fast, change the world, cutting edge, system change social reform litigation. He’s shy, anxious, insecure, detail oriented, a concrete thinker, humble and sweet. It was like a guppie playing among sharks. I got promoted, he got laid off. He lost his second job when he was required to do high volume jury trial work. What was he thinking?</p>
<p>Now he works for a national public policy organization that works on disability rights issues. He researches questions that are sent to him by email, he has the time to provide carefully researched, detailed answers. He writes well researched, elegant articles and background papers. He goes to small meetings with other specialists. He is valued and beloved by all. He gets paid more than he was ever paid before and in better work conditions. He still panics when he has to go meet with staff on the Hill, or actually conduct a training and stand in front of people, but that is a small part of his job and he lives through it.</p>
<p>So, figure out who you are and what you love about yourself… what makes you thrive and feel valued… and what you truly love about the law… without relying on TV versions of lawyers… and create a life that brings you closer and closer to that niche …</p>