@ChoatieMom wrote “There are “better” seats at a table? Sorry, clueless here. What constitutes a better/worse seat? Why is sitting with back to a wall good/bad?”
That’s a new one for me, too. I literally had no idea. I do know that when I go out to eat with my bff she likes to sit facing the door so she can people watch, and I like to sit facing a window so I can see outside. When I’m out with my husband I always try to make sure he gets the most legroom because he’s so tall, but I don’t think either side of the table constitutes “better” and now I wonder if I’ve been annoying people for years about where I sit, lol.
I’m also a leftie and I like to try and get the left edge of tables so I don’t elbow people, like several others on this thread.
Guys who get all macho and aggressive in co-ed sports, or in the over-the-hill leagues. I did competitive sports until around age 30 then transitioned to the just for fun leagues hoping for a little entertainment and exercise, but some guys just seem to have a knack for sucking the fun out of it.
And historical revisionists, annoying as Hades. No, slave owners did not treat their slaves as family members.
A better seat is one in which you can see the whole room (and, the reasoning goes, the room can see you).
A worse seat is when you have your back to the room and can see only the folks across from you and the wall.
An even worse seat is one that faces away from the room and provides an unpleasant view – a waiter’s station, for example.
And various configurations can make this even worse – if you are in a position where you can’t move freely or get out of your seat easily, for example, because you are crammed next to other people.
The “see and be seen” tables and seats that allow maximum views from the table and maximum views of your table/seat are generally considered the best tables at a restaurant.
Thanks, @doschicos; I didn’t know there was a name for it. From the wiki:
This is it exactly. I’ve never said anything to anyone about this which is why I leave or try to cancel the noise out. I didn’t know it was a thing. Thanks, I feel better.
My daughter has no qualms about pointing it out to her family, that’s why I let her know she makes crunching sounds, too. At least, she doesn’t comment to others though I know she’ll often relocate from sitting near the worst offenders.
And the worst offenders are people who chew with their mouth open or while talking. That is a pet peeve of mine as well.
On a date, it is courtesy to have the woman in the position of honor, with her back against the wall, facing the most people to see and be seen. The man should be only concerned with his view of his date.
We had a family friend who was in the OSS/CIA and HAD to be seated in a corner with his back to a wall, not in front of a window, so PTSD trumps the old sexist traditions.
Someone I am close to has psychiatrist-diagnosed OCD that manifests itself as misophonia. It goes far beyond a pet peeve; it causes panic attacks and triggers OCD responses and is quite debilitating. This is a very nice, polite, accommodating person. Until getting to know this person, I would have thought it was a BS princess-and-the-pea thing, but it is a true psychiatric disorder.
Gulp. I’ve always known the problem is with me because we all have to chew, and who can control the sound of crunching? (I’m not talking about chewing with one’s mouth open. I hate that, but that falls under the category of JustRudeThings.) I get distracted, then upset, then angry and have to leave. I’m sure no one has ever noticed or, at least, made the correct connection. Sorry for getting OT. I may have to look into this more, especially if there is something to be done about it (for me, that is). I’ve had this for as long as I can remember.
I feel uncomfortable with my back to the restaurant. I don’t know why. I joke that I must have been shot in the back during a poker game in the Wild West in another life. It’s not a pet peeve, but if I have the chance and no one else goes for it, I’ll usually take a chair that doesn’t face away from most of the restaurant.
Do the people who hate to hear chewing or crunching sounds get upset when THEY eat something crunchy? Do they leave the room to eat the crunchy food alone so that they don’t upset others? Just curious.
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No. I don’t notice the sound of my own crunching, and I like crunchy things. I don’t leave the room because I know that this is an irrational thing and no one else is bothered by it (or they would leave and deal with it quietly like I do). FWIW, I don’t eat with my mouth open.
For a reason I don’t completely understand, both my father and my husband don’t like to have their backs to the door of the restaurant, so all else being equal, I would give them seats that would face forward, since it’s all the same to me. But it’s not like it’s debilitating or anything if they couldn’t have those seats.
Of course I’m interested in the people I go out of my way to dine with. But i enjoy people watching and the ambiance of the place I’m dining…could be the ocean, a lake, a really cool outdoor restaurant…indoor for that matter. Why would I want to go and stare at a wall? It’s not a pet peeve of yours…that is wonderful. Since you know it could be for someone else now, then you should have no problem insisting you take the seat with no view Or your back to the crowd.
I don’t like it but it’s not a pet peeve if that happens with others. As people are usually considerate…but not these two. DH thinks they think nobody realizes what they are doing.
I might think about it if the restaurant overlooked something that was particularly interesting (such as a beach view, or city lights, or a charming downtown area) and one of the people was a tourist or guest who didn’t normally get to enjoy that view. For an “average” restaurant, though, I wouldn’t particularly think about it one way or the other.
I might also think about it with an elderly person – when I dine out with my mother, I think it’s a sign of respect for her to get the more comfortable banquette and me to get the chair. But that’s not about the view, that’s about comfort.
My H doesn’t sit until all ladies at the table are seated and would never rush to claim the best seat, but I know he doesn’t like having his back to the door.
My pet peeves (mostly driving related)
People who drive slowly in the left lane or who stay in the left lane when there are cars behind them trying to pass.
People who cannot stay on their side of the road. This applies to half of my neighborhood. It’s a two lane road. Just because there is no painted line down the center of the road doesn’t mean you should drive down the middle - especially when going around a blind corner.
People who drive a big SUV, but don’t know how to park it.
“For a reason I don’t completely understand, both my father and my husband don’t like to have their backs to the door of the restaurant” Are they in the Mafia?
OP, maybe your friend doesn’t even realize what he’s doing. Maybe it’s just a “habit” to take a chair looking out without even knowing or thinking that someone else might want it. Being honest, I don’t know that I think about this that much- but it’s not intentional!
Maybe when he was a kid he was told “sit in the back”. Maybe he gets claustrophobic and can’t stare at the wall. Truly, there could be reasons why he does this - including having no idea he does it!
Just ask once - “hey Joe, I’d like to have a seat “there” for a change.”
