Speaking of crunchy food, W and I went to a solo recital of her favorite opera singer once. Picture a beatiful symphony hall, everybody in suits and gowns, a dead quiet room, and the only sound is your favorite opera singer singing acapella… accompanied by the sound of the person next to you crunching on peanut M&M’s!
During intermission I mustered every polite bone in my body to very gently ask the woman next to me if she would mind not eating during the performance. She acted genuinely shocked and surprised that I made the request.
Crunchy food doesn’t bother me, but that one time it just about made my head explode!
I haven’t ever thought about a prime seat in a restaurant except maybe when tables are too close together and I don’t think there will be room to squeeze between the backs of 2 chairs of adjacent tables. If I’m one of the first to be seated when awaiting others in our group to arrive, it is very likely that I’m going to choose a seat with my back to the far wall …so that I will be able to see and wave to other members of the party as they arrive. As for the view, eh once friends are around the table the conversation is what engages me, not the view. After reading this thread, I’m going to be paranoid about selecting a seat every time I eat out!
Assuming I am not sitting at a table where I have to consciously think about where my deaf ear is going, I plop myself down in whatever seat I happen to go to. For instance, if I’m in the front of a line of people, I go to the furthest seat. If I’m in the back, I take whatever is left.
Seriously, many of us do not think there is such thing as a prime seat- even unconsciously
My pet peeve: When I mention that I read and someone says “well it must be nice to have all that free time to read”. Um, no. My day is 24 hours long, I just make reading a priority. I watch almost zero television but I don’t sneer at people who do.
For me the table hog is the person who, when a large group is seated at a long table, always grabs the center seat. I have a friend who does it. Drives me nuts
I think people have preferences of where they like to sit. I like to have my back against the wall (a booth sometimes) and some people prefer a chair, especially if they are big. So I wouldn’t say I always pick the “prime” seat. It is only when a seat has a better view that is obviously “prime,” and I usually let the guest of honor, older person, or someone who hasn’t been to the restaurant before have a better seat, otherwise I have no issue of sitting down at it if I got there first. My kids always let me pick a seat first, likewise, I always let my mom sit down first.
@nottelling …thank you for understanding my POV and agreeing with me! Haha. I am exactly the same way. If I am first, I take the medium seat. I have to admit if I planned the get-together, and am first, I will take the best seat. I have no issues if someone does the same. As a matter of fact, that is a good idea. When another person or couple plans it, I might speak up and say, “hey Susie you planned this, take this seat”. She will say, no-no, I’m ok…but I will insist. That might make a precedence and also allow the offender to realize we are all well aware of what a good seat is and who sits there.
I’ve seen them do this with out of town guests when we have run into them during the summer. They live year around on the biggest lake in our state. There is a very nice outdoor restaurant right on the lake. They were out to eat with their sons soon to be in-laws, who were visiting for the first time. Who was sitting with the gorgeous lake view and who was sitting with their backs to the lake looking at the hotel? Yep.
When I first realized this about this couple was when we went on vacation with them about 12 years ago. It was our 20th anniversary and we invited them to Acapulco with us…which did turn out to be a blast. However I had researched restaurants and found one that supposedly had magnificent views of the city and lights at night. I had mentioned this to them. Our table turned out to be 2 seats on one side and 2 on the other. One faced the beautiful twinkling lights of the bay, the other the black ocean, you couldn’t see anything. Guess who took the good seats? I was so pissed it ruined my evening. That is what I mean by a pet peeve. I can’t shake it off.
lol about the restaurant seats. I’ve never thought much about it, except I know my H likes to be able to see the front door. If I knew I was sitting with trained folks with concealed carry permits, I’d want them sitting where they could best see what’s going on. My dad, a leftie, always chose a seat where his left hand wouldn’t interfere with others, but he also believed in making sure women had a seat first.
I think good manners is becoming a lost art in some places. I don’t like it when kids say things like, “I’m calling firsties!” or “I’m calling the front seat.” or whatever. When I drove school field trips, and a child said that, I’d tell him, “now, you’re getting in the car last.”
I don’t like the: “Me and Bob are going to…” Ugh It’s “Bob and I,” and it’s rude to name yourself first.
Sometimes I have to stop and think when “me” is appropriate because sometimes it is. One trick is to think if you took out the other person, would you say “me” or “I”.
I have some health issues that make it absolutely intolerable for me to be cold, so I will always look for the seat in a restaurant farthest from any vents or blowing air. Otherwise, I don’t care where I sit. My husband is another one who doesn’t like to sit with his back to the door. He thinks he is protecting me, but in his family and culture, it’s not really odd.
I had a temp co-worker last year who chewed so loudly that it could be heard by callers on other people’s phones through a closed door, and I’m not kidding. He was a serious foodie and talked loudly all day in great detail about food. If I never hear the term “sockeye salmon” again as long as I live, I will be happy. He was also a moaner as he chewed, this combination of sounds of rapture and lip smacking. It was disgusting beyond words. He sounded exactly like Zach Young on the Cooking Channel, with the whole “I’m speaking to project since I’m such an expert” thing going on. He was not asked back. His presence on the corridor made life unpleasant for every single person in the area, even when his door and their doors were closed.
My worst pet peeves are on the bus. Please don’t sit on me because I’m a smaller person, and the bus is a method of transportation, not your queen sized bed, so if you’re spread out and deeply asleep, you’re inappropriate.
“For me the table hog is the person who, when a large group is seated at a long table, always grabs the center seat. I have a friend who does it. Drives me nuts”
My H does this! But it’s because he’s chatty and wants to be in the middle of the action and hear what’s going on with everyone. Isn’t it more polite to fill in from the center out than take a seat at the end?
In my old age, I always ask for separate check, unless with closest friends where we all put in our right share.
I don’t care about where I sit. One friend lost hearing in one ear, so I let her choose table and seat. Another likes a chair rather than booth.
What I dislike is a new patient, who confirms appointment in the morning, then doesn’t show. I’ve saved an hour for you, I’m booked full, why so rude. I completely understand MDs overbooking, but I save a full hour.
“If you are not thinking about it, of course you’d naturally and unconsciously plop down in the most comfortable seat with the best view! Why wouldn’t you? Even my dog always chose the best seat in the house.”
From my point of view, no, I wouldn’t naturally plop down in the most comfortable seat - because I’m just not thinking about that when I approach the table - unless one seat seems particularly uncomfortable/awkward . I think I think more about who I’m sitting next to, not the physical location of my seat.
So if you’re dining with me, don’t hesitate to ask for my seat if you want it!!!
From now on, every time I go to a restaurant with a group, I’m going to ask, “Is @conmama in the group? If so, let’s let her choose a seat first.” Problem solved.
Perhaps its polite to allow others, who might also want to be able to chat with several folks at the table, to sometimes get a center seat, rather than one further towards the end. If people arrive at different times, sometimes the early bird takes the primo seat. But when most are being seated together, it might be nice to also see what others want. My friend ALWAYS grabs the center seat and she is VERY chatty.
One time (and now its annoying me just thinking about it), DH and I had plans to go out that night with a couple (will call them couple #1). I happened to be at a conference with chatty friend and she asked what our plans were for the evening. When I told her we were going out with couple #1, who were mutual fiends, she asked if she and her DH could join us. When we all got to the restaurant, they seated us at a booth for 6. She waited until one of us slid into the booth (I ultimately conceded), she took the middle seat, and wife of couple #1 sat on the end. Chatty friend in the middle then talked all night with the friend on the end (who we were supposed to be with that night) and I sat in the corner in silence, essentially left out and unable to hear most of the conversation. Chatty friend is SO chatty you cant hardly get a word in edgewise anyway. I am still steamed just thinking about it. Oh, and chatty friend and her DH underpaid on the bill too. Another pet peeve.
