Human errors? Who wouldn’t want only nice kids? But sometimes what you see is not what you get.
And I can attest that most of the kids are nice. Coming from families with responsible parents, think skinned, work hard, low maintenance… That said, just because Andover mentions “nice kids” and peer schools don’t use that term doesn’t mean Andover’s kids are nicer than peer schools’. I’d like to think most kids going to these schools are nice.
I think the assumption that the kids at Andover or any other elite or otherwise boarding school are nicer, better or smarter than kids everywhere else is hilarious. The stated missions of these admissions committees is largely fantasy. Fully 15 to 20% of these kids at each Hades school are legacy. Their “niceness” is irrelevant. Another 15 to 25% are plain old full fare kids. Kids whose parents can write a check plus some. Their niceness is also irrelevant. Many others are hyper-competitive offspring of hyper competitive parents. Seriously…
It’s unlikely to be any better/worse than any other boarding school or the local public school.
Clearly, nice kids engage in questionable behavior. I know some nice kids whose rooms might attract the interest of the Board of Health. Some of the nicest kids I knew in school smoked marijuana and were very generous about sharing. And I think dip is the chewing gum of this generation. What’s nice got to do with any of this?
@center: legacy kids and kids from families that can pay full freight can be nice, and as a matter of fact, shockingly most of those who aspire to attend and are qualified for top tier BS are good kids. Competitiveness and decency are not mutually exclusive. Moreover, these schools have the luxury to filter out the bullies, the spoiled and the high maintenance among the many applicants who can pay. Is “nice” for a kid such a tall order?
The whole application process is a show. You really think all the bullies and jerks can be filtered out?
Well, it’s also to the school’s benefit to try to do that isn’t it? Can they filter ALL of them out? Maybe not. What’s your point? Are you or your kids applying to prep schools? Do you want your school to TRY to find nice kids or no?
I can’t possibly imagine it’s not better than most of the local public schools, unless your local public school is truly exceptional. In many nice areas, pot parties are pretty common even for middle schoolers.
Not that I am super negative about it. It’s probably better than tobacco, except that it kills more brain cells. But it seems is just how things are.
Pot parties in middle school - yikes! Although I know there are kids in 7th and 8th grade that are already experimenting with this stuff and actually do it right after school around the athletic fields. Bad, very bad.
@MAandMEmom Not that it’s widely participated. Probably only few do that. But its going on on the school ground after school and weekend was well known according to my nephew who was in middle school by that time (7~8 years ago).
Also, some online travel guide says that the best place to buy some illegal substance in a new town is around local private schools in after school hours, as there are always drug dealers selling them to wealth student.
At the risk of being politically incorrect, I think it is simple logic that wealth kids are more likely to be well bred and well educated, and grow up to be smarter and nicer. That has been also true in my experience of meeting them. Of course there are many exceptions! For example my daughter is well bred and well educated. But for that I had to homeschool her instead of sending her to a local public school. Is it socially just? Probably not. But that’s a different matter.
Funny.
Nicer???
By definition, legacy is too diverse a group to make generalizations except that they tend to care a great deal about their kids’ education. The full pay families are even more diverse. Many of them are working professionals who make sacrifices to provide the best education for their kids. How is it that nice cannot be expected from them? Boarding schools are communities with teenagers living together 24/7. Theyd be looking for trouble if they didn’t pay attention to who they take in the community. It’s intuitive that they should be looking for kids who are capable of handling the academics, a low mantenance “team player” and ideally can contribute to the community in more than one way. Nothing hilarious here. Just common sense.
@Center, would you mind sharing how your opinion on boarding schools has been formed? Seems you have been considering having your child to apply to them if you can get financial aid so it won’t drain your savings. Were you looking into them even though you don’t like their values and community, or did you find out who they really are through your recent experience and research? If it is the latter, what events led you to find it out?
For me, my recent experience only fortified my existing opinions. It seemed every student guides we met were acutely aware of their privilege and had a strong sense of serving the larger community through both immediate community services as well as future contribution by forming service value through practicing it by the immediate service while they are in the boarding school. I felt red for I haven’t been taught the value to my daughter and she didn’t have much to respond in that area.
I think that the OP has a very valid observation. His description of his son’s experience is pretty accurate for some of the students at Andover. Tons of work, stress, expectations, and not enough joy, celebration, and accomplishment. It has always been like this. You take a bunch of kids who have been at the top of their middle schools in everything, and put them in an environment where they are going to be average at most things. That’s a hard pill to swallow for a teenager. The other side of the coin is that his son is going to sail through college, have a great group of friends for life, and never be intimidated by lots of work. For some parents, this is not enough. College admissions is painful because not everyone can go to an Ivy.
On the other issue of political correctness, OP is also very accurate. The pendulum has swung way past the middle to the far left. This may seem like a negative, but it’s most likely just temporary. Many colleges are much further PC than Andover. It’s just the times we live in. As South Park says: Reality will crash that party. I don’t think you should assign responsibility for this to Palfrey, or any of the faculty. They are charged and challenged by an aggressive student body that sets the tone for much of this dialogue.
OP: ask your son in 5 years whether he would choose to send his child to Andover.
I hope reality crashes the party…
I also hope reality crashes the party. The faculty(and especially Palfrey) shouldn’t be assigned responsibility for this, as they are encouraging constructive discussion that allows for all respective parties to voice their opinions. The problem is more so with the students. For those of us near the middle(but a little to the right), it feels impossible to say anything for fear of being seen as Donald Trumps best friend, or the second coming of the KKK.
I do also think it is temporary, and the discussion that has risen from it, at least in the classroom, has been productive. As far as out of class debate/discussion is concerned, the PC Police are always on high alert…
For me, this is but a small qualm about Andover. I’ve enjoyed the rest of my 3.5 years here thus far. Although when reality hits, it is not what the Admissions brochure looks like, I think OP may be a little too biased against Andover. I especially disagree with the comment about teachers not being interested in you unless you are going to Yale. Totally not true. Teachers won’t be interested in you if you don’t put in effort or are asleep in class, but I’ve NEVER felt that way with a teacher at Andover, and i’m not going to an Ivy school next year.