It’s hard to calibrate what to recommend without seeing your stats. When you say you’re looking for “generous financial support,” do you mean merit $ based on musical talent, or need-based aid? Agree that combining a serious music performance degree with engineering is difficult, especially if you’re looking for “life balance” as your post implies. Blending with math or physics may be more manageable.
Check out St. Olaf in Minnesota and Lawrence U. in Wisconsin. Neither has engineering, but both have conservatory-level music performance and strong STEM (Lawrence is particularly known for physics and St. Olaf for math/CS).