Organization: 4. Paragraphs need to be divided based on ideas and not on a whim. Fairly nice flow though.
Diction: 4. Some awkward situations regarding word use, and nothing spectacular.
Supporting Details: 3. You don’t tie the examples back to your thesis very well. You say things like “this made people furious,” but you need to explicitly tie that back to “it is reasonable for people to have high expectations.”
Grammar: 3. Some obvious mistakes. I will try to come back to this, because I need to leave right now.
Thesis:3 Not very strong or clear thesis.