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Or girl. Nothing personal to you, Fear; just pointing out that this is the 21st century . . . though I’m sure you were just generalizing the situation.</p>
<p>Anyhoo, I had a long distance relationship for 2 years with someone. We’ve been together for nearly 7 years now and will be celebrating our 4th wedding anniversary in a couple months. We would go about 7 months at a time for those couple years without physically seeing each other. I was in the military stationed an ocean away from her, plus deployments which were multiple continents away. We utilized skype and texting/calling a lot if I wasn’t deployed and email/calls sparingly when I was. The best advice I can come up with:
-**Truly be there for your partner when s/he is going through tough times<a href=“i.e.%20close%20family%20death,%20etc”>/b</a>. My wife’s very close grandmother passed during my first deployment and I still kick myself for not being able to console her more.
-Be interested in his/her life - academics and otherwise. Do what you can to support them in their endeavors. Typically, the first signs of things going south is a disinterested partner. Consider genuine excitement with his/her accomplishments. That person should be doing the same for you, of course.
-Give him or her something to look forward too. Meaning, always have something at least planned. Just finished a visit together? Start planning the next one - dates, events for what to do together, whatever. This should keep some focus on the relationship and it’s better than saying “Yeah, I have a G/BF in a far away land, but I don’t know when I’ll really see him/her again.” I understand this may be financially challenging (to physically visit every-so-often, I mean), but get creative. I know some couples who watch the same movie on TV/DVD together via phone/skype as a long distance “date”. Go to an event locally like a music festival and send them pictures etc if you can. This will let them know you want them involved in your life.
-Be open and willing to accept changes with your partner. Not everyone changes between the ages of 17 and 22-23, but a lot DO. I know I wasn’t exactly the same person personality-wise or aspiration-wise once I finished 4 years in the military. College can have similar effects. That’s the whole thing about sharing a life together - most couples married for 20, 30, 40+ years together have drastically changed as individals from the day they got married, but they’ve stuck around together and love each other more and more every day. Heck, when I married, my wife was talking about having at least 2-3 kids. Now, she feels like she wants no kids. This particular change can break a couple (it can actually be legal grounds for divorce – “She said she wanted to have kids when I married her, but now she doesn’t want to” will grant divorce proceedings), but I understand we will both change over the course of a lifetime. She might come back around and want a child or two, or adopt, but I know she’s my life partner so I want to accept her choices just as I expect her to accept mine. This doesn’t mean decisions are made lightly. I’m sure we will have many a conversation based on just this issue alone, but when we choose to stay together despite these changes, then I can be satisfied in life.</p>
<p>Best of luck to you and your significant other.</p>