Just wanted to circle back. In the end, we only went back to her top school regarding more merit. D23 sent an email inquiring about additional merit available and listed the two universities that had offered her more generous merit, with less expensive net $ costs per year. To the comments in the thread, they are all peer schools as far as acceptance rates and geography. All private universities. She touched on her two visits to the school, and why she hoped to attend.
She sent the email on a Saturday and on Monday had an email back from her admissions rep that he was happy she had so many great choices and that he would meet with Financial Services to see what they could do and get back to her that week. On Thursday she received a second email offering her additional $2K per year. Not a huge amount but a positive experience as far as asking - we did not ask for a specific amount more.
D23 and I discussed how she will work all summer and maybe make $8000 - so to be granted an extra $8K over four years for the work of one email - very worth it.