<p>“Okay… If this is going to be the case then why don’t we just change out the hardwood dance floor and install wall to wall mattresses…”</p>
<p>Actually, once lived in an apartment like that.</p>
<p>After-prom outfit? a toothbrush and a blanket, and a note reminding you to floss.</p>
<p>“After-prom outfit? a toothbrush and a blanket, and a note reminding you to floss.”</p>
<p>Great… I knew you could do it…</p>
<p>The girls around here all go to the local cosmotology school to have their hair done. It is very inexpensive - I know because this is where I go to get my haircut and a few weeks ago they were all getting ready for prom - it was fun to watch…since my D is not close to this age I am not sure what most kids do- but if the graduation from elementary to middle school is any indication I might have to start saving now!</p>
<p>Okay, I should have said cheap in relation to what other people around here spend. It’s not uncommon for girls to spend at LEAST $500 on their dress, and we got the cheapest limo service that didn’t involve a car from the '80s. We only had 3 couples in the limo, so that accounts for the cost. The kids that got the hummer limo paid the same amount, only they stuffed TEN couples in there…do NOT ask me how. Overall prom was very inexpensive, especially since dinner was included in the ticket price and we didn’t really do much after.</p>
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<p>If parents are making a big deal (and big expense) out of graduation from elementary to middle school, what will these kids have to look forward to??</p>
<p>My sister has always sold her dresses on ebay right after the dance. She just sold her junior prom dress for about $80. She only paid about $120 for it, so it really only cost her 40 bucks.</p>
<p>jlauer95 I totally agree. One of the schools here has a graduation party at the country club for kids going from 6th grade to middle school - I think it is ridiculous - - and you are exactly right it leaves nothing to look forward to-and thinking about the latest “red carpet” b’day party I heard about where the kids (around 3rd grade) and their parents dressed in formal wear! </p>
<p>Also I wasn’t thinking on the scale of kk06 post which blew me out of the water! I suppose it is all relative to where you live because spending $500 on a prom dress seems like a TON of money to me.</p>
<p>I wonder if the parents who are forking over all this money for special dresses/make up/hair/nails/fake tans/shoes/purses for graduations (for various grade levels) and proms are worried that they are raising their kids to become “accustomed” to a certain standard of living which will become difficult for them to maintain once they are “on their own” without a lot of discretionary income?</p>
<p>When I was in high school (a catholic all girls school), i went to school with the daughters of several very wealthy doctors/surgeons. I used to joke that their mothers probably go into the junior dept and say to a salesperson, “One of each in size 6”, because these girls had soooo many clothes and all the matching accessories. At the time I wondered how these girls were going to handle “life” once they were “on their own” without daddy’s money. 30 years later I have seen that many couldn’t handle not having what they grew up thinking was just “normal” (this should not surprise us… Don’t people get “used” to the lifestyle that they’ve grown accustomed to and expect it to continue?) </p>
<p>Nowadays, there are many more families that can afford to truly indulge their kids with all the “frills”… Birthday parties are ridiculous expenses and become competitive “events”. Recitals end with young performers being handed dozens of long-stem roses. Grade school graduations include pricey parties, etc. HS proms and grads have just gotten to be ridiculous.</p>
<p>What are we doing to our kids??? </p>
<p>Who is going to stop this train wreck?</p>
<p>I don’t know - but I can tell you that people were horrified that I never had a birthday party for my D until this year - I went back to school when she was born and could not afford to do any type of party - we have always had family parties but I decided I would not do a “friends” party until she was in first grade - the party was a BIG deal to her and she had a great time - she planned everything, did the invitations, and even got irritated with the whole RSVP thing. </p>
<p>I can see in my Ds friends a growing sense of entitlement which really annoys me - and actually hard to admit but I can see it in my D. At the beginning of this past school year my D really really really wanted a rolling backpack - even though she had a backpack that worked fine. She even came up with good arguments about how it would be better for her back - I almost gave in - not because I was going to buy it but my mother told me she would buy it for her, don’t misunderstand I wanted my D to have it. I told my mother to order it and after a few days I realized that when I was younger we got things like that for our birthday and Christmas - I never got anything just because I wanted it. The more and more I thought I recognized that when I was younger my parents probably wanted to give us everything we asked for but they absolutely could not afford it - and neither could my grandparents…so I told my mother to save it and I told my D to put it on her Christmas list - and what do you think happened? It was her favorite gift and she was SO proud going back to school telling everyone Santa got her exactly what she wanted. I was amazed that it meant so much to her - and it was hard for me to know that the rolling backpack was in my mother’s closet because so many times I wanted her to stop talking about that darn backpack! It was probably a better lesson for me than for her - I have really tried since then to make sure there is meaning associated with things we do and buy.</p>
<p>Wow, I never even paid $500 total for my wedding gown & the dresses of ALL my attendants! Things do get out of hand–I heard of one child who rented out the local nightclub for her “sweet 16” birthday party & another who rented out a ballroom of a luxury hotel for hers. It seems like WAY too much to me & does make me concerned about the messages these kids are getting & how they will deal with the future when funds are much more limited.</p>
<p>jlauer95 and HImom- so true! I am making my own prom dress this year- partially because I couldn’t find anything that suited me, and partially because I hoped to save money. Well, after fabric, trim, patterns, ribbons, thread, and the purchase of my sewing machine, I’m about $240 in the hole- much more than my friends paid for their dresses. Plus, if I work out how much I would “pay” myself for all the time it’s taking me…god, I don’t even want to think about that number…</p>
<p>Bottom line- sewing will only save you money if you were planning on spending a ridiculous amount anyway!</p>
<p>I am so glad that my kids are long past the “kid birthday parties” things where parents would “book” Chuck E Cheese, Gymboree playplaces, and other similar places. We never did it for our kids but I certainly felt the pressure. We just could not afford them when our kids were young.</p>
<p>There’s a duct tape prom scholarship that involves making a prom dress and tux out of Duck brand duct tape and wearing it to prom. That might be cheaper than the $200 dresses, although the duct tape might still get expensive compared to some consignment bargains…</p>
<p>The winning duct tape outfits are pretty awesome & tough to believe they’re made entirely of different colored duct tape. A problem with duct tape is it doesn’t breathe & consequently gets QUITE hot!</p>
<p>D has been looking forward to prom (at our school seniors only) forever. We have always been very frugal with virtually all of her clothing and possessions – lots of discount stores, ebay, and internet shopping – making it very clear that we have a finite amount of disposable income and that this is the way we have to go if we also want to be able to pay for all of the education-related expenses, music lessons, etc., and she’s been very good about it especially in light of the apparently endless spending power of many of her fellow students. There have even been certain unbelievably expensive school-sponsored trips that she hasn’t been able to attend because they were (we thought) obscenely overpriced and not in the budget if she wanted to be able to attend the college of her choice or music camp. Nevertheless, we decided that after all this shoestring economizing, we’d splurge on prom if we had to. And we did. We just couldn’t find a dress that looked beautiful at any of our old haunts, and we ended up getting her one of the first (and certainly most expensive) garments the child has every marched into a department store and bought retail. It’s gorgeous and I really don’t think that it has moved her in the direction of becoming an entitled or materialistic person. I think that splurging like this did heighten the excitement of the event and made it just that much more special to her, with almost every aspect of the experience being a bit outside of the realm of her everyday experience. I did have reservations about the after-party, which has been pretty unsavory some years, and the after-after party sleepover, but D is leaving for college where she’ll be absolutely unsupervised in the fall, and I do believe that she has internalized the values we’ve been teaching all these years. Hence, she participated in an over-the-top event, where I’m certain she observed a certain amount of illegal substance use and sexual activity in which I’m equally sure she didn’t participate, in a really, really expensive dress. She had the time of her life. If we hadn’t been able to pull it off expensive dress-wise, we wouldn’t, and she still would have had a great night, but looking at all of the happy, beaming pictures of her finally experiencing what was for her the magical last night with her classmates before they go their separate ways, I’m glad we were able to spurge this time.</p>
<p>And now, jlauer, if anyone would like to ask me for advice on how to economize on hotels, dining out, or airfare for college trips; summer camps, musical instruments, groceries, handbags, neckties, or anything else not related to prom, bring it on!</p>
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<p>I agree with you, anonymom. Your D has long learned the lessons of being careful with money so I’m confident that she truly appreciated this special dress and how its cost affected the 'budget". conversely, I think that there are kids who routinely don’t even think twice about how all their “wants and needs” affect a family’s budget. You must be an awesome mom!</p>
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<p>Do we need to start a new thread just for this??? I’m game!!!</p>
<p>Thanks, jlauer, you’re a doll!</p>
<p>My daughter and her friends made pizza, brownies, etc. and then headed to the park for a picnic in their formals and tuxes. Spread out blankets to keep from getting dirty and had a great time waving to all the joggers, parents, etc sharing the park with them.</p>