It seems DD is taking a position that somehow in her immature mind she is magically thinking parents truly can afford helping her get to her choice if they really want to. Ha.
Well, does not like any other school. OK. Maybe she needs to consider a gap year. Or attend local community college. There are ‘choices’. That truly may have her see she wants to go away and therefore she will ‘see’ another school that will work out.
However if she doesn’t have the maturity to put full effort where she goes, why are the parents making any of the financial sacrifices at all?
Also, IMHO, do not have her dredging her college woes to her peers - it is just drawing out the drama. Many families can do much less than what your family is able to do financially towards her college costs. So many students want to have (in their eyes) a more status school. They are not paying the bills for your DD.